Can he fix it?

By Chelsy - 11/09/2019 12:00 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I found out that when my boyfriend is drunk he pretends to be Bob the Builder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 363

You deserved it 198

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

The Phone Call

By turnmyphoneoff - 24/09/2019 00:01

Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 946

You deserved it 210

By gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 915

You deserved it 4 004

By Anonymous - 10/01/2014 23:05 - United States

Today, I realized I willingly support my boyfriend's alcoholism, because the only time he says "I love you" is when he's blind drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 458

You deserved it 17 643

By rachaaaaeul - 06/08/2010 07:07 - United States

Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 065

You deserved it 4 019

By cutiecuppiecakez - 29/02/2016 21:04 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 021

You deserved it 3 033

By wooed - 03/12/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 months has been faking his southern accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 540

You deserved it 9 024

That devil water

By Anonymous - 08/04/2020 14:00

Today, my boyfriend went to his friends house to drink. He told me he’s a happy drinker, and I believed him. He calls me drunk about three hours later and tells me he’s been thinking about cheating on me for a long time, and that he also thinks about "being with other women." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 835

You deserved it 175

By Anonymous - 10/06/2014 03:30 - United States - Crowley

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 077

You deserved it 6 245

By a2 - 06/02/2014 06:57 - Australia - Bayswater

Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 018

You deserved it 8 238

By other woman - 21/10/2013 16:42 - United States - Riverside

Today, I found out that when my boyfriend jokingly talks about his other girlfriend, he isn't actually joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 547

You deserved it 5 356

skippydoda 32

Wednesday 11 September 2019 14:28

If my SO went around screaming "YES, I CAN" at the top of their lungs then I'd be upset too.

Kaneki Chiaki 15

Wednesday 11 September 2019 15:35

Aww, that's cute.

Comments

Mathalamus 24

Wednesday 11 September 2019 13:12

And that's bad how?

skippydoda 32

Wednesday 11 September 2019 14:28

If my SO went around screaming "YES, I CAN" at the top of their lungs then I'd be upset too.

Kaneki Chiaki 15

Wednesday 11 September 2019 15:35

Aww, that's cute.

Aiden89 23

Wednesday 11 September 2019 15:46

Kinky role play, huh?

WeirdUS 29

Wednesday 11 September 2019 15:55

Does he legitimately try to fix stuff when he is drunk? That could be dangerous and exspensive.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 11 September 2019 17:10

Can he drive a nail straight, if you know what I mean?;)

jbuckets_404 38

Thursday 12 September 2019 5:55

Being interesting to see who he imitates after getting his "nail (too) bent." ;-)

BurnInDemonFire 33

Thursday 12 September 2019 6:51

And does he like having his helmet played with?

Sashiee Chuu 8

Thursday 19 September 2019 0:34

Can we fix it? No, it's ****** :(

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The Top

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 015

You deserved it 3 406

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend for cheating on me. I refused his calls, so he texted, not to apologize, but to say I'd "left some clothes in his suitcase"; i.e., he stole some of my clothes. When he didn't get the response from me that he was hoping for, he texted, "I'm wearing your shorts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 120

The Top

Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 333

You deserved it 7 410

Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 091

You deserved it 6 541

Today, I waited in line at Subway. There were two people in front of me. The first lady had seven sandwiches and the second lady had four. So after patiently waiting, I ordered my sandwich, only to have my credit card declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 671

You deserved it 12 134

Today, I finally told my dad that he owes me over 400 dollars, and that I need it or else I'd get kicked out of my apartment. He only gave me 70 and said to get a better job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 657

You deserved it 5 083

Today, I told a bunch of my friends that I have a crush on this one girl. They all said it's definitely one-sided and I have no chance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 148

Today, my boyfriend spent half his paycheck on gourmet steaks, bacon, and all sorts of other meat. When I reminded him we were trying to go meatless to help the planet, he said, "Yeah, I'm done with that. The planet can burn." We'd only been vegan three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 2 021

Can he fix it?

Same thing different taste

The Phone Call

That devil water

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