Today, I'd gotten home from dropping my boyfriend off when my dad said, "Your phone's been buzzing." I had a text saying, "You're grounded" from my Dad. My "Take your birth control" had been going off for a half an hour while I was gone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back into the house, screaming, "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
Today, my mother asked me if my boyfriend and I were getting serious. I quickly lied and said no. She then informed me that if things ever heated up, she would take me to get birth control. Wanting birth control, I confessed. In turn she grounded me. I'm not allowed to see my boyfriend anymore. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, my mom took my cell to work with her. When she got home later, she scolded me for not answering her calls. When I pointed out that she'd taken it, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, my parents grounded me and told me I can forget about going to prom, Grad Bash, and getting a new car for graduation. My mom was cleaning my room and found a pack of condoms in my dresser drawer. Oh, and they made me call my boyfriend they didn’t know about to tell him it was over, on speaker. FML
Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML
Today, my dad took my phone away because I "had to be texting while driving in order to wreck my car." I was too ashamed to tell him that a huge bug flew into my face causing me to veer off the road and into a brick mailbox. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Okay your dad's probably an idiot. Seriously. Birth control doesn't always mean you're sexually active. If you're old enough to drive your boyfriend around (without an adult also in the car with you), you're old enough to take birth control for your own reasons. At least in my opinion. Plus, you weren't texting and driving at the same time. He should be happy about that.
ihatewankers 0
So ... your Dad would rather you were irresponsible & fell pregnant? Is that what he's trying to prove? Fail Dad, Fail.
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Comments (136)
fuckup666 17
You're being grounded for being responsible?
lillienice 3
fantasyworld 39
So in his mind getting preggers is better than being safe? Plus some people, including me, use it for their periods.
refticon 32
No one cited the best FML ever? Birth control time, birth control time, take your pillor I'll say it ain't mine!
IvanTheWolfie98 10
Ok I'm pretty sure his point is she (if still in hs) shouldn't be sexually active period, which is very true..
IHaveThePower 18
Your dad's an ass. If you're old enough to have periods, you're old enough to medically control them--and he should trust you enough to know that you're not going to have sex until you're ready. I hope he pulls his head from his ass soon, OP.