Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML
Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Today, I have the stomach flu. If my belly growls, I have 30 seconds or less to get to the bathroom. I can't go to the doctor for fear of shitting my pants on the trip there. FML
Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off, feeling incredibly sick. I then ran downstairs and had diarrhea while I threw up. I spent Valentine's Day having diarrhea every time I coughed or sneezed. FML
Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML
Today, I woke up with horrible pain in my gut. It got worse and worse, and I started vomiting from the pain. My mom said it was the flu and that I needed to "man up." It turned out to be appendicitis, and I'm now typing this from my hospital bed. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML
Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
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Top comments
Ninjaface 0
Whatever you do, do NOT make a sarcastic comment about getting a urinary tract infection and/or tapeworms!
shelboo_fml 0
A fort in the bathroom with a can of frebreze.
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Comments (103)
MissOriginal 0
U kinda ginxed urself there XD
lettertjes 0
Well yes, there are different kinds of infections that we all call the flu. There is the influenza virus (the 'real' flu) wich causes fever, coughing, a weak feeling and muscle pain. And there are several viruses that cause an infection of the intestines, wich cause vomiting, diarrhea and mild fever, like OP had, wich are also called 'the flu' in everyday speach. And then some people who have a cold, wich is a viral infection of the nose and throat, causing a runny nose, coughing and a troat ache, call that 'the flu' too, when it's a bad cold.
CallMeHush 0
Drink plenty of liquids and send someone for some extra soft TP, the last thing you need with the trots is John Wayne Toilet Paper ( it's rough and tough and don't take shit off of nobody).
alexandraa_fml 0
I wish I could fav this comment. :,D
azn22 1
same
picturescrazy 24
This comment made my night :D I feel really bad for the OP. I couldn't imagine how annoying that would be >.
Tensingumi 0
LMFAO...JOHN WAYNE TOILET PAPER!!! thats a freeeaakin riot...
mn_mpls 0
@8 I'm pretty sure they would shit the bed
Stumblebum30 5
Wow that's rough. I'm sorry you're going through that. I've had the flu like that before. I was literally sitting on the toilet with the ***** and leaning over the bath tub vomitting at the same time. not fun.
jswarren23 0
lmao,that is UNLUCKY!
BrownSugar_fml 5
that's the swine flu!!! seek medical attention!!
lettertjes 0
Like # 19 said, this is not swine flu. Swine flu is a classic influenza flu. This is intestinal flu.
ben_wah_balls 0
Ergh. I had swine flu and I had neither of these symptoms. Try not to overreact next time.
idkweird 0
The swine flu is characterized by a fever for 7 days....not all this. These symptoms are those of the seasonal flu.
nitro27x 2
ohh dear, hope you feel better soon
lsfry 0
#19 that is NOT the swine flu..
iluvpandas 0
What a shitty situation.....
ShinyMarker 0
lol you said shitty.