Today, I have been vomiting for 4 days. Tomorrow, my landlord is insisting on inspecting my flat. I now either have to clean my house whilst trying not to throw up all around it, or fail my inspection. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML
Today, it's day four of liquid ass and violent hurling after I hosted a birthday party for my daughter, and one of the kids brought a stomach virus rather than a present. Yesterday my daughter started with the violent vomiting too. Everything smells like vomit in my home. Yay me! FML
Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML
Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML
Today, after my landlord announced a "surprise" apartment inspection, I spent the entire night cleaning every room, scrubbing the oven, and organizing closets. The inspector walked in, looked around for 20 seconds, checked for a smoke detector, then left. FML
Today, I had to take an oral examination. I made it to the last part of the exam, then violently threw up in the middle of my answer. FML
Today, because I have an inner ear problem which gives me major vertigo and nausea, I spontaneously projectile vomited all over my bathroom. FML
Today, after several days of deep-cleaning my house, I found a huge section of my room covered in black mold. I almost puked when I saw it. Not only could that have put anyone in the hospital, but it also explains why I've been getting sick all the time as of late. FML
Today, I discovered after four hours of vomiting that it is very much possible to vomit so hard you can't help but shit in your trousers. My boyfriend is currently staying over, too. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Or you can simply explain that you are contagious with a life threatening disease and anyone who walks into the apartment will die within seven days. He may even give you the apartment after he hears that. It's a win-win.
WCARlover 35
If you absolutely cannot get the date rescheduled (which you certainly should be able to by saying you have a contagious illness), surely there's someone you could pay to clean or if you don't have money maybe could ask a friend to help you out. I know if my friend was at risk of losing their place, I would definitely help them out.
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Comments (28)
Welshite 40
Or you can simply explain that you are contagious with a life threatening disease and anyone who walks into the apartment will die within seven days. He may even give you the apartment after he hears that. It's a win-win.
WCARlover 35
If you absolutely cannot get the date rescheduled (which you certainly should be able to by saying you have a contagious illness), surely there's someone you could pay to clean or if you don't have money maybe could ask a friend to help you out. I know if my friend was at risk of losing their place, I would definitely help them out.
Tripartita 45
You sound like somebody living in the "before" part of an infomercial for products that you strap on like a feedbag, so you can Vomit While You Work!™®
luther48 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Another solution to this problem is keep your place clean. I get you're sick, but it shouldn't be to the point you'd fail an inspection.
Rocklegend_16 15
You also don't know the standards their landlord keeps for "clean." For example, my roommates and I had a dispute when we moved in over weather or not to clean behind the flusher on the toilet. It's all a matter of perspective. Plus four days of being sick= four days of not taking out the trash, doing dishes, etc. which can really pile up.
Tripartita 45
If your solution to a problem ever involves /not having that problem in the first place/, rest assured, you're helping no one by sharing it.
RichardPencil 32
Clean with two buckets. Make sure you keep your cleaning bucket separate from the throw-up one.
trucker2 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Clean or lose your flat ? If it's cleaned regularly that shouldn't be a problem... If it's messy enough for you to worry, then your a bad house keeper, and your illness is no excuse.
afisxfallxchild 9
Just tell him or her that you are sick and would be willing to schedule as soon as you are well.
wow2mylife 25
I will help you clean edit we live way across the world from each other so never mind ask a friend
molliekatz 6
I've told my landlord before that I was sick and NOT up for inspection. She's usually pretty understanding and will postpone the invasion for a week if i explain. It's just not understandable if I do it often ;)
chimpy1708 12
You should be keeping it clean anyway
arcanesentry 14
Just puke on your landlord as soon as they enter, problem solved.