Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
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Top comments
SuperPizzaMan_fml 11
More like FHL. Poor penis.. :(
littlexlune 16
Better luck next time!
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Comments (157)
WhiteCrimson 23
Ouch and if this is anything to go by, stay away from the condoms handed out at the clinic. Remember our government stapeled them to std awareness pages a few years ago.. All good and well untill you realize that they stapeled all the things in the center.... So OP rather go buy some at spar of chemist. Lovers plus has a variety of sizes too.
thembeni 6
Eish sorry for him
cptcat 10
What kind of nails do you have?!
mete_orito 34
Today, I was going to make love with my gf for the first time, everything was going great until she tried to put the condom on me, she nailed my penis not once, not twice, but THREE times with her nails. I was crying due to the pain and lost my erection. FML.
friedbunnies 9
How does that even happen? Calm down scissorhands.
Savner 16
Maybe cut your nails? ..just a thought
JBrownie123 24
How the **** were you doing it? You were way putting it on wrong by the sounds of things. How old are you?
mrsnugglefunny 10
Poor you pssssp poor guy
gregnc_fml 18
Prickly dicky wearing a potentially prickly raincoat. Sounds like a waist of time to me.
Ethrockerdude 6
That's why he should be the one putting it on