fuck but no fuck 2 August 2013, 19:44 Pretoria, South Africa 🌶️ Spicy

Bad start

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

157 comments

Collection

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter

When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!

Same thing different taste

Anonymous 6 August 2011, 01:47 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

300 comments

anon 31 August 2014, 15:14 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Quickshot

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

120 comments

onepussytwopussy 7 March 2014, 19:47 Birmingham, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Sensitive snowflake

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

92 comments

Anonymous 3 November 2012, 01:23 Bedford, Canada 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

207 comments

JoshuasGirl 23 December 2013, 19:13 Grand Rapids, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

141 comments

angelisa 21 November 2015, 14:54 Yuba City, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML

177 comments

needsomelove 20 October 2019, 06:00 France 🌶️ Spicy

Running gag

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML

21 comments

Anonymous 15 January 2013, 17:45 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Nope

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

142 comments

notsexy 9 May 2009, 15:51 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Choking hazard

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

217 comments

Alicia 21 January 2010, 05:02 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Lost

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML