Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SuperPizzaMan_fml 11
More like FHL. Poor penis.. :(
littlexlune 16
Better luck next time!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (157)
ryanthecheeseguy 18
Learn from the experience.
cristy91 33
Maybe OP should buy some cucumbers and practice on that
BunnyRose 11
why didnt he do it himself?
splitintwo 6
Nails are people who don't get laid. Seriously trim those razors off and don't waste your time with such nonsense! Also he should do it himself.
Ubehage 32
Why were your nails even close to his penis ?
thewife5 19
It all went perfect until you tried to put the condom on? So you've mastered making out.. Congrats. Next time have him put the condom on if your nails are getting in the way.. That sounds painful. Good luck
love_me_electric 20
If you're doing it right, foreplay is more than just making out.
thewife5 19
They are obviously not doing anything right.. Seriously? If they can't figure out a condom... Their extent of four-play consists of touching each other briefly... With their hands.
DoctorDex 11
Stupid women with your weird long creepy nails
gaseousflaw 1
Cut your nails girl!
MermaidAnnariea 10
i think it's time to trim your nails...
TheyCallMeDamien 17
Shouldn't this be his FML?