By rissa5214 - 26/07/2015 18:20 - United States - Stoughton
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Just saw that you're only 23 too. Perhaps the time limit freaked him out. Maybe discuss one thing at a time. Don't be so hard on achieving this in the next 5 years. You have lots of times still. Perhaps we wants to get a few other things in order first. Seems really heavy conversation for someone of 23, even if you have been together for 3 years already.
I'm 23, a lot of my parents generation were married at 23 - kids by 28 isn't actually that early. And she could have a condition that she knows will limit her fertility. I think if he was just thinking a couple of years later for kids this would've been a longer conversation.
I know our parents her married and had kids younger, that's because their life expectancy was also much younger. We're no longer in that position anymore. Whilst OP may be happy with that, perhaps it freaked her partner into doing something completely irrational (like kicking her out of the house). Just saying.
@28 my sister is 22 and already has two kids and is getting married in less than a year. I'll admit she did have her first kid at 16, but she is extremely mature for her age and her and her fiance are perfect together. And then there's me, I'm 19, been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years, we're about to get our first place together, and we have both decided we'll get married in 2020 and wait till he's at least out of grad school to have kids. My point being that everyone matures at a different age, and the fact OP knows what she wants at 23 doesn't surprise me at all.
So packing up someone else's things and basically forcing them out isn't a dick move. He could have of asked time to think or grew a pair instead of ignoring the problem. It's completely understandable that he doesn't want a commitment but that doesn't justify his actions
I'm sorry that happened to you. Did y'all previously talk about your future? maybe he didn't want kids or he panicked when he was given a time limit. Again sorry to hear this as that was an extreme reaction.
Not really too extreme of a reaction, I'm almost sure if he had said that he never wanted to have kids and he wasn't going to change his mind that she would have left him. Not everyone wants them. I personally hate children. I would rather focus on my career and not spend the millions of dollars i could be spending on myself and my SO.
Forcing op to leave DEFINITELY is an extreme reaction. If they just broke up, then that would be understandable and probably for the best, but that isn't just it. Kids and marriage is something to discuss and if you can't compromise or decide on the same option, yes it's probably best to break up, but give them time to get things together and find someplace to go. Throwing them out, especially over something like this, is terrible.
Better than when you're pregnant. Although that could be a future followup just waiting to happen if you already are and haven't found out yet.
I think it's a bit harsh for him to just kick you out without talking about it, but this doesn't sound like it's the fault of either of you, you're just two people who want different things in life. It's sad for you OP and I hope you're not too upset, but don't worry, one day you'll find that one person who wants everything you do and you'll wonder how you ever considered marrying anyone else :-)