Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, my dog is mad at me due to the fact that earlier in the day I ate 2 peanut butter cookies. Apparently, they were his dog treats. I had no idea. FML
Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML
Today, I tried to sneak some cookies out of the pantry without my dog noticing. I dropped one, and now he thinks that every time I open the pantry, it’s snack time. He won’t stop barking at it. FML
Today, I found out my dog can open the fridge. Now I have no food left. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had figured out how to open the fridge again. He'd helped himself to raw eggs and crab. FML
Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML
Today, a dog came into my yard. I bent down to pet him, forgetting I had a burger in my hand. The dog grabbed it and ran. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 39
That doesn't make him a genius. He's just smarter than you.
Denny1 15
Good boy
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (89)
AprylAnn 23
Wow, it's crazy what a pooch will do for some bacon. Tisk Tisk :D
PenultimateTaco 14
Well good on him, that sneaky bastard
Cazz91 21
I would have taken your sandwich with or without your there OP. Bacon sandwiches are pretty damn awesome. Your dog is pretty smart to fool you like that for his main prize, I agree. :)
BMurphy55 1
Haha dam smart ass dog....sleep with one eye open...he might just be plotting to take ur place as head of the household! !
underthesea12 24
well we now know who runs the house
peacejunior 12
Will you better forgot about security dog for a while, he seems easy to bribe. Invest on bonding with him.
ruckfules85 34
I bet the dog was like, "dat bacon sandwich tho".
laurieblue 1
well it was rude of you to not offer him anything. YDI
baconboy_42 8
Not the bacon!
frod0 10
Id do the same thing