Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, my dog is mad at me due to the fact that earlier in the day I ate 2 peanut butter cookies. Apparently, they were his dog treats. I had no idea. FML
Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML
Today, I tried to sneak some cookies out of the pantry without my dog noticing. I dropped one, and now he thinks that every time I open the pantry, it’s snack time. He won’t stop barking at it. FML
Today, I found out my dog can open the fridge. Now I have no food left. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had figured out how to open the fridge again. He'd helped himself to raw eggs and crab. FML
Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML
Today, a dog came into my yard. I bent down to pet him, forgetting I had a burger in my hand. The dog grabbed it and ran. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 39
That doesn't make him a genius. He's just smarter than you.
Denny1 15
Good boy
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (89)
junkman6 22
So we have cats that open doors, dogs that target training books, and smart door to door salesmen. Add this to that list and I think it's time we all start preparing for the rapture.
alienator_fml 4
I would have taken it with me and continued eating. Nobody interrupts my bacon feast!
BlueKelly 6
Fido ain't so special!!! I would have done the same thing
SasquatchDeluxe 10
YDI for thinking dogs won't help themselves to unattended food.
naznafeathers 22
My boyfriend's cat does the exact same thing
BlueKelly 6
My IP address was permanently BANNED from the Topix Site today! Little do they know, I have multiple adds! I truly a LOSER! FML
unlucky_04 10
Getting fooled by a dog? hahahaha. Sorry. Couldn't help it. :D
awkwardloveannie 28
who leaves bacon unprotected??
Not_Impressed13 9
Every dog loves bacon!
JabberJaw88 11
Sorry, OP! Dogs are tricky -mine do this to me all the time. They're either very, very smart or I'm very, very gullible.
GEFStryker 29
I was going to do a pun, but then I took a paws and remembered we had already barked up this tree in another thread. I'm gonna pull the pug on this train of thought, before I write something dumb and get pounded with the thumbs down. Night folks, you kennel move on now.