Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, "Wow, what's that, your change purse?" He replied, "No, I'm diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went on a first date. We had the same phone, and we'd put them down next to each other on the table. I get a message and we both look. It’s my period tracker telling me to be careful, because the floodgates are opening. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really hit it off with. Then he admitted that he was a recovering heroin addict and had to cut our date short to go to the methadone clinic. When I got home, I realized that my wallet was missing $40. I think he lied about the "recovering" part. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, at physical therapy, the girl next to me had a blue armband. I said, "Hey, sweet iPod". She said, "Actually, I have diabetes." FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy. As soon as we sat down at the restaurant, he immediately snatched my menu and said "You're having salad." FML
Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
Today, I saw a girl texting at school. I told her she might want to put her phone away before she got a detention. She turned around and I saw she was changing her insulin level on her pump. She has diabetes. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy and he kept winking at me. I thought it was really sweet until later that night he told me he had Tourette's. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TookaWooka666 0
Nice, not only was the joke bad to begin with but then you find out he is a diabetic, you kind of deserved that one.
robc32ca 4
wow. kind of explains why you were on a date instead of in a relationship...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (278)
beafraidoftheoli 5
you idiot
CxiiBunneh 0
FAIL.
krazykiya12095 0
you sound like such a bitch -_-
little_monster21 0
no second date for yoouuu! you inconsiderate ****!
Rdozer 0
Wow people... it was a harmless joke. I would like my date to have a sense of humor!
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
you shouldnt have said it to begin with. its a first date. also its not really a big deal. its not like you made fun of his hair cause chemotherapy
gr8koolkat 6
hate to be your first date.
merdterdferd 0
you got some pretty insulting comments but honestly shit like tht happens. all these immature ass people probably haven't been on a date to understand how nerve racking it is.
phantomzeroz 0
bitch
vettaisbetta 0
youz a bitch ..