Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, "Wow, what's that, your change purse?" He replied, "No, I'm diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went on a first date. We had the same phone, and we'd put them down next to each other on the table. I get a message and we both look. It’s my period tracker telling me to be careful, because the floodgates are opening. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really hit it off with. Then he admitted that he was a recovering heroin addict and had to cut our date short to go to the methadone clinic. When I got home, I realized that my wallet was missing $40. I think he lied about the "recovering" part. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, at physical therapy, the girl next to me had a blue armband. I said, "Hey, sweet iPod". She said, "Actually, I have diabetes." FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy. As soon as we sat down at the restaurant, he immediately snatched my menu and said "You're having salad." FML
Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
Today, I saw a girl texting at school. I told her she might want to put her phone away before she got a detention. She turned around and I saw she was changing her insulin level on her pump. She has diabetes. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy and he kept winking at me. I thought it was really sweet until later that night he told me he had Tourette's. FML
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Top comments
TookaWooka666 0
Nice, not only was the joke bad to begin with but then you find out he is a diabetic, you kind of deserved that one.
robc32ca 4
wow. kind of explains why you were on a date instead of in a relationship...
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Comments (278)
thegr8destroyer 0
have some courtesy you bitch!
SunshineBoy21 0
Open mouth, insert foot.
andres19 0
I would have kicked that bitch out of my car and driven off. like a mother fkn boss!!
amkaye 1
I'm sure you get plenty of dates with that mouth.
DontHateMeBecaus 0
agreed if you love him you wouldn't care
cptmorgan15 2
52, what the hell are you talking about? Seeing as it's their first date, I highly doubt they're in love. And chances are she was just joking around, but it happened to be a terrible time to make that joke.
katTKD 0
58- I think that went to the wrong post. I'm guessing it was meant for the mother-in-law story. sometimes comments get sent to other stories for some odd reason lol
atthegates 0
it's not a big deal that asshole should have laughed it off
EmoGiana 0
69- No, because he just mentioned a first date. The mother-in-law post is about marriage.
thegr8destroyer 0
43 yes I do with my fiancé.
catrav77 0
72 - she was talking about comment 52, 58 made a comment about how 52's didn't make sense.
TroII 0
"Is that your change purse! Haha." "No my rape kit." >:D
cptmorgan15 2
Yes, thank you 69. It makes sense now.
fumsup 2
people do joke around! you know relieve tension, lighten the mood, hell even to just have fun. you can't call her a bitch. she had no idea he was a diabetic. she just said the wrong thing at the wrong time. some people are just way to serious!
ThatSucksAlotYDI 0
Coming from another diabetic, don't be a bitch. damn hoe.
TookaWooka666 0
Nice, not only was the joke bad to begin with but then you find out he is a diabetic, you kind of deserved that one.
ColdplaySucks 18
She probably was gonna find out eventually. But a joke like that isn't really called for.
skidoo800HO 2
Yeah especially since it was a first date.
Mitcha857 0
a simple "what's that?" would've sufficed.
NastyNinja31 0
ur an asshole
supersailor32 0
she's a bitch.
staceysgenesis16 0
well OP didnt kno but at the same time shouldnt have said anything for that same reason ... all OP has to do is appologize .. its not THAT big of a deal
tjv3 10
I would have kicked you out of the truck. did you at least make it up to him?
HugeRedRash 0
Maybe he shouldn't have been a diabetic.
lunaXXdennice 0
she's a bitch she should have some respect she should have asked first learn some manners for craps sake
cannibletaco 6
you don't choose to be a diabetic. think before you post.
kcluna 6
Wow... way to go!! Hopefully he never calls you... humorless, *itch!
gr8koolkat 6
It's funny, how everyone assumes she's a bitch or 'rude'. Ok so it was a bad joke, but the thing is that FML doesn't show the reaction when she finds out that it's for diabetes, she probably would've been really sorry. Don't judge people before you know, it's ridiculous. Just out of curiosity I wonder what her reaction would've been if it actually WAS a change purse, haha! x
slantyshanty 7
She is not able to be rude, because she is from Canada!!! loljk.
glenzhao2 16
LOLOLOL CHANGE PURSE!!1!!1!!!!1 No but seriously, how was that even funny in the first place?
jklol11 0
you are so right. period. She was kinda a bitch....
boygeorgebaby 0
why would you even say that in the first place?! even if it wasn't he would still probably take that insultingly! YDI op. inconsiderate.
redbluegreen 40
I think her nerves got the best of her. I certainly make horrible jokes when I'm nervous, but nothing that bad.
notsocrazee 0
are you Chandler?
instnt1nfction 17
no
boygeorgebaby 0
who?! I don't know anyone named Chandler. my name is Gwen.
gertyygirly 4
164 notsocrazy was making a reference to the tv show friends. the character Chandler always makes inappropriate jokes that get him in trouble
Riddles66 0
Why say that? That's REALLY rude, dude...
mbishop94479 4
OP's a girl...not a dude...
fadingaway 17
Dude is a term that can be used when referring to both men and women, not just men.
iLazy 0
No such term as a dudette?
alakomonus 0
who the f*** ever uses dudette?
urdirtyolduncle 15
Dudette! There.
EverybodyHatesCh 0
MEEEE!!!! I USE DUDETTTE!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
koolbop56 0
nice rhyme, man.
Riddles66 0
I call everyone dude, can't help it.. it's just who I am
randomstudios 0
it could be a guy
MehrunesDagon456 20
It could be a guy if he were gay.
robc32ca 4
wow. kind of explains why you were on a date instead of in a relationship...
applecaketree 0
Everybody's gotta start somewhere. Except OP, sounds like she finished before she even started!
GodSavesEveryone 6
amen to that
DarthVader007 0
Brutal.
ZacharyClift 1
wow harsh lol.
jklol11 0
oh my god. have some respect! that is just cruel.
thebestof1984 0
Fhl, not yours. Shitty joke to begin with.
Leebra 6
Way to go.
fadingaway 17
YDi. Why would you burst out laughing anyway? I don't see what's funny about a little black bag. Even if it was a purse, guys are allowed to carry things in them too.
fadingaway 17
*YDI