Are you listening?

Great start

Today, I went on a date with a guy who kept checking his phone every five minutes. When I asked him if everything was okay, he told me he was just playing Candy Crush. FML

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML

Thanks for the support

Today, I came home upset about the sexism in my work place. I just wanted to be alone, but my husband insisted we talk about it. I noticed he kept looking over and one of his hands was moving. He was playing video games the entire time I was spilling my guts. FML

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML

Stressed out

Today, I complained to my boyfriend that I was stressed out. He asked me, "What do you have to be stressed out about?" I work 50 hours a week and go to school full time. I ask him what was stressful about his day, he told me that his "kill/death ratio went down on Call of Duty." FML

Asshat walking

Today, a random customer at work admonished my coworker for being on her phone. During our lunch break. As he walked away, my coworker muttered, "What the fuck is his problem?" I nodded in agreement. He heard her and saw me nodding. As did our boss. Time to get written up. FML

Are you OK?

Today, my phone rang during a meeting. I quickly silenced it, and put it in my pocket. A few minutes later, my boss’s phone rang. It was me, butt-dialing him while we were sitting in the same room. He answered and asked if I had something urgent to discuss. I did not. FML

Because nobody questions Bigfoot

Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML

Is that a threat?

Today, my boss, who was in a heated dispute with a difficult employee, called me via our office chat program to deal with him. The program interrupts whatever you do, making it the priority window. I was in a chat with another colleague, making my response that they both saw, "I have many bullets to spare!" FML