Nearly FMLs

By anonymous1738 - 19/01/2016 04:19 - United States

Today, I just got out of a 4-hour class & was heading to my car when I slid on ice. I fell & nobody even tried to help me. In my attempts to stand back up I fell another 3 times. FML

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You deserved it 0

By TrainWreck111 - 19/01/2016 04:16 - United States - Londonderry

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I made out with his brother. They're identical twins, I thought I was kissing him the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By gunnstreet - 19/01/2016 04:16 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was out for a walk while I was really annoyed. Some guy said hello to me and I turned to give him the bird without breaking stride. As I did that I walked into a poorly placed traffic sign, knocking myself right off my feet. He laughed. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 1

By DanandPhilfan - 19/01/2016 04:12 - United States - Bellevue

Today, I met 2 famous Youtubers and got their number. My sister got super jealous and decided to take my phone and text the 2 Youtubers horrible things, including my deepest secrets. She refuses to apologize, and that I deserve since I'm "too ugly for them anyway" and "she's perfect" FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 04:11 - United States - Greenville

Today, I was messaging a hot guy I had just met online. Everything was going great until he started sending me pics of his dick and him in diapers. Apparently he has a fetish for being a baby. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By mycrappycar - 19/01/2016 04:06 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, my car got side swiped. The lady that hit me drives a 2015 Jeep Cherokee. She dented in my whole entire back door (that won't open or lock now), got the front door, and the fender. She caused $2000 in damages. She was crying and being consoled because her SUV had a couple of scratches. FML

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You deserved it 0

By mrsfishbait - 19/01/2016 04:00 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, I found out the car I was buying doesn't run anymore. I was buying that car because my car was almost totaled when a lady hit me, and it has about $3000 in problems as of today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Richsauce50 - 19/01/2016 03:57 - United States - Milton

Today, while In the shower I decided to test certain stream modes on my new shower head. I found out it had a dual jet stream mode. How do you ask? One of the streams hit me in the eye then when I backed away from it the other hit my testicles. FML

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You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 19/01/2016 03:48

Today, I thought my house was on fire, I ran downstairs with an axe and a bottle of water to my my mom yelling "what's wrong with you I'm cleaning the oven!" This is one of my greatest fears... Fml

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You deserved it 0

By crownedcrazy - 19/01/2016 03:47 - United States - Elmhurst

Today, I realized that yet another guy who seemed genuinely nice and interested in me for me just sees me as potential sex when he brought up my boobs and body in what was supposed to be casual conversation. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 03:45 - United States

Today I went on what I thought was a date with this guy I really like, only to end the night by him telling me he loves that we are friends and then picking up his girlfriend from work. Fml

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You deserved it 0

By bruh_what - 19/01/2016 03:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my brother's girlfriend threw a hissy because my brother wouldn't buy her an app. She then yanked the cords from our TV. She then preceded to say how immature he is and how he'll never amount to anything. May I add she lives with her boyfriend's parents they are both 22 with no job . FML

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You deserved it 0

By sarahdoll - 19/01/2016 03:42 - United States - Pittsboro

Today, I moved back with my parents after "living in sin"with a guy they didn't approve of. They told me I would be whipped with a belt before being allowed to move back in, even though I am 23 years old. I have nowhere else to go so I let them whip me FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By nick - 19/01/2016 03:33 - Canada - Qu?bec

Today, I'm so lonely, I literally felt overjoyed when a complete stranger said "hello" to me on the street. FML

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You deserved it 0

By anonymoussqueak - 19/01/2016 03:32 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, I came home from the dentist after they went to remove orthodontist cement off of my teeth from my braces. I put on my retainer, which fits perfectly, and go get water. After taking a sip, I thought I tasted blood. I did. My entire mouth is bleeding. FML

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You deserved it 0

By FrenchToastKick - 19/01/2016 03:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me after accusing me of masturbating in the bathroom this morning instead of spending time with him before work. What I was really doing was taking a pregnancy test. I go Friday to make sure it wasn't a false positive....

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By lycia_jayne - 19/01/2016 03:20 - Australia - Scoresby

Today, my manager at work made me fire my boyfriend, he blames me. FML

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You deserved it 0

By IcelandicFart - 19/01/2016 03:17 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I got so lonely and socially deprived that I tried to have a convo with Siri. My phone then said that Siri isn't available because I don't have Internet connection. I can't even talk to a fucking AI robot. FML

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You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 19/01/2016 03:11 - United States - North Dartmouth

Today, while trying to be cool in front of this girl who intimidates me, I tripped. Up the stairs. About 20 people saw and the girl then had to wait 5 minutes to hold open the door for me while giving me her best resting bitch face. FML

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You deserved it 0

By JayGatsby - 19/01/2016 03:11 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got my period during a ten hour flight. The pilot told us to stay in our seats for an hour because of turbulence. FML.

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You deserved it 0

By that_random_twin - 19/01/2016 03:08 - United States - Muncie

Today, a friend told me about how he locked one of his Sims in a basement and used it as a sex slave. Thanks for that image. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Wellnowimscrewed - 19/01/2016 03:08 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, my mother gave me two options. I can either break up with my girlfriend because she's a different religion, or I can be legally disowned. I planned on proposing today.FML.

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You deserved it 0

By uhh - 19/01/2016 03:03 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I was going to my first date with a guy I've liked for years. But when I got there, I entered the restaurant, I entered through the emergency exit. The alarm started blaring and I saw the guy see me and walk out. FML

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You deserved it 0

By georgia_pine - 19/01/2016 02:53 - United States - Tuckerton

Today, I was watching tv with my dad when a viagra commercial comes on. It said that half the men in the US over 40 have some form of erectile dysfunction, and he felt the need to tell me that wasn't true. FML

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You deserved it 0

By dumbwhiteguy - 19/01/2016 02:49 - United States

Today, my dad caught me watching porn... He liked the kinda shit I watch so he started jerking off with me and now asks me when I want to do it again.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 02:28 - United States - Denton

Today, I learnt that my fiancé would rather sleep with a friend she doesn't trust than to sleep with me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By kiswan - 19/01/2016 02:27 - United States - Ware

Today, I had my first kiss. With my cat. There was tongue. FML

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You deserved it 0

By TheHeirOfTime - 19/01/2016 02:25 - United States - Newtonville

Today, my mom broke her ankle. At first I thought she would be put in a walking boot and it would be fine. She needs surgery. This might not be so bad if I didn't live with her because I can't walk. FML

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You deserved it 0

By stressedmomma - 19/01/2016 02:17 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my daughter called my work phone in the middle of an important meeting with a high-end client. The emergency? She wanted me to buy her ice cream on my way home. FML

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You deserved it 0

By sheiswhyicanthavenicethings - 19/01/2016 02:14 - United States - Bel Air

Today, my mother in law decided to leave 40 dollars worth of fruit and vegetables my mom ordered for me outside. It was a gift and now all of them are spoiled. FML

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You deserved it 0

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I discovered the man I'm in love with, the only person I've found attractive in the past 8 years, has a girlfriend, and has done for almost a year. I feel physically sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 437

Today, I found out one of my friends had never seen the "Two Girls, One Cup" video, so I loaded it up and told him to watch it. I knew he was squeamish, but I didn't expect him to actually pass out. He cracked his head on the side of my desk and had to be rushed to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 827

You deserved it 17 395

Today, while on a road trip, I went to the bathroom at a gas station and locked the door. Turns out the lock was automatic and I'd actually unlocked it. My mom walked in on me, but instead of apologizing and leaving, she yelled at me in the middle of the gas station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 642

You deserved it 194

Today, my constant constipation has become a running joke in my family; I heard my mom tell my dad that if he wants to keep his Christmas presents safe, he should ask me to eat them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 998

You deserved it 1 718

Today, at a supermarket, I ran into a girl I knew in high school. She had two kids with her and they were buying school supplies. My cart was full of beer and snacks. After a chat, she left, not before saying, "I hope things get better for you." I have a job and a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 274

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 510

You deserved it 7 684