Today, I realized I hate my life now. Everything changed. My friends changed. I don't like Paris. It's cold and lonely. It's nothing like Emily in Paris. I'm overstressed with uni and my future. I want a break. FML
Today, I was kicked out of college for not attending a class I wasn't ever enrolled in. FML
Today, I had to call poison control on one of my students, because they decided to drink a half a bottle of hand sanitizer. FML
Today, I got an email stating that my scholarship request was denied, 51 days after applying with no response. I'm now forced to drop-out from my college degree because I ran out of money, and I've been unsuccessful at finding a job for two years either, thanks to Covid. FML
Today, I woke up at 4 a.m. to study and do homework, then worked for 8 hours, then went to the gym, and finally went home to study even more. Then I realized I'll never make as much money or be as cool as a YouTube celebrity. FML
Today, I told my college friend that I considered her to be my best friend. She responded, "I don't think you should call me that." FML
Today, I had to do a PowerPoint presentation alone, since none of my group members showed up. I was given a big fat 0 for doing the presentation alone. It was worth 50% of my grade. FML
Today, I found books on the Catholicism in my son's room. Switching faiths can be a big deal, so I asked him if there was anything he wanted to talk about. Turns out he was just doing research to aid his goal of seducing and screwing the hot Catholic girl in his university class. FML
Today, my boss told me I could do my university work as long as I served customers when they came in. No customers came in all day, then I realised I’d been so focused on my laptop, I'd never noticed I’d left the bolt on the door, so customers couldn’t get in. My boss sacked me. FML
Today, I was talking to my professor and explained how depressed and stressed out I am. He called the police to my house because he thought that would help with my suicidal thoughts. My parents don't believe in mental health, and I want to die more. FML
Today, I realized what pulling an all-nighter means in reality. You’re psyched and active for about two hours after the decision, then you plod along bleary-eyed for another 4-8h, after which you inevitably fall into bed, only to end up tired and with a fucked-up sleep cycle for the next few days. FML
Today, my boyfriend has been grumpy for days, because his essay on society's fixation with performance, winning awards and getting good grades got a somewhat disappointing grade. FML
Today, I asked the girl I sort of like as we were leaving class how her day was going so far. She said, "Great. Don't ruin it." FML
Today, I asked my dad why the WiFi was down. He just replied, "Why? Horno can't get no more porno?" No, "Horno" has an assignment. WTF? FML
Today, I was telling my dad that scientists had discovered a new sea creature. He said it was all BS and that scientists just make things up to cover conspiracies. I'm a biological sciences major. FML
Today, after I'd being sick all day, my boyfriend volunteered to do my very long sociology paper. I was later notified by my professor that the paper I'd submitted was completely plagiarized. FML
Today, I received a call from a top-rated university accepting me into the program of my dreams to begin my ultimate career. Two weeks ago, I accepted a permanent, full time and legally-binding job position in my depressive hometown because the school had previously rejected me. FML
Today, I have a serious bladder problem, which causes me to frequently urinate. If I'm unable to, I get really bad cramps. To ensure I always can go, I got a note from my doctor stating I can go during class. My professor threw it away and claimed it was fake. Hello, cramps. FML
Today, in my psychology class, the professor had us write down our name and birthday on one side of the paper and on the other side put down a mental disorder we would like to know more about. I was going to write 'Social anxiety disorder' but I was too worried about what people would think. FML
Today, I had my German oral exam. It was going well, until halfway through I did the biggest burp I could have ever imagined. I don't even know how to say sorry in German. FML
Today, I found out I can’t get in-state tuition at my college, all because I’m under 24 and considered a "dependent" student; therefore my parents must prove state residency on my behalf. I lost both my parents to COVID last year. FML
Today, I had to give a video presentation. My video was on animal abuse, but I somehow played a video of myself singing Britney Spears in my room. FML
SirTalkaton tells us more.
Ok OP here, here's the deal. I have no problem singing Britney. I like music that's that. But my brother thought it would be hilarious to overwrite my presentation with that. As far as why I was recording, well I lost a bet and keep my word. However, it was not Oops I did It Again it was Man Eater. Class got a good kick out of it for sure.
Today, I realized I freaking hate my career. I've only got through a semester, but I feel like I can't end the four years it takes. FML
Today, I did the math: back at college in 2011, I had a $20,000+ reimbursement from my school. If I had invested even half my cash into Bitcoin then ($2.50), I would be worth over $120,000,000. Instead, I said, "Fuck that! This is stupid", and am now over $200,000 in student loan debt. FML
Today, I got my first job offer in over a year, a mere few days after being accepted to study for my dream career. My crippling depression won't allow me to enjoy any of it. FML
Today, I learned that the starting date for my class was a typo. Instead of 6/22, it was 6/2. FML
Today, I handed in an internship assignment that I have been working on for months. Once submitted, a pop-up showed, stating the assignment was 100% plagiarized. What was it plagiarized from? A student paper. My own, to be more specific - the exact same paper I had uploaded seconds before. FML
Today, during one of my final exams at university, the police academy across from the class decided to practice their marching. With the full band of bagpipes. For the entire 3 hours. I have a headache verging on migraine and start humming the marching beat occasionally. FML
Today, I recorded a 20-minute TED talk and told my students to watch it on the app in preparation for next terms projects. I got bombarded with messages from my students, telling me that because I was sat down on a chair while recording, certain camera angles could see straight up my skirt. FML
Today, after a long day, I decided to study. I was so tired and anxious that I couldn't. When I actually started, a neighbour started making a hole in his wall. FML
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