Today, I was doing homework when had to leave to help my family out with chores. I didn't mind it of course, but it turns out I could get signed out of the science homework site, and now have no way to sign back in. FML
Today, I overslept. I didn’t have any time to get ready for school so I just went in my pajamas. When I got there, my teacher walked up to to me and said, “Nice pajamas!” However, I understood, “Nice vagina!” so I replied, “Oh thanks. Nice penis!” I’m dropping out. FML
Today, I learned that in spite of walking during the ceremony, my graduation was denied. That was nearly 4 years ago, and I never knew this was a possibility. I'd been a drop-out all this time. FML
Today, yet again I was made to feel how talentless and boring of a person I am. I have great academic achievements, making me one among the top 0.02% youth of my country, but am so uninteresting and introverted that people don't want to be friends with me. FML
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
Today, I received the results of the exams that I re-took in order to improve my grades. I got exactly the same grades as before in all four exams. Point for point identical. FML
Today, my girlfriend posted “Alexa, play 'Flowers' by Miley Cyrus” as her Facebook status, all because I didn’t return her 14 missed calls. Apparently, taking an online proctored exam, which required absolute concentration counts as “talking to other women.” FML
Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML
Today, I'm trying to study for my finals, but some local school is having an event nearby, and has decided to make life hell by playing "Magic In The Air" at full volume while some woman screams into a mic. I'm dying. The entire neighbourhood can hear their damn sports day. FML
Today, I had an important test at 7 in the morning, so I sat the alarm at 6 o'clock and fell asleep. Later I was woken up by a call from my friend asking me why I didn't show up for the test. It was 9:30. I'd sat the alarm at 6:00 PM. FML
Today, my grandparents told me they couldn't make it to my college graduation, even with months in advance to plan, because they had their annual Mother's Day plans with friends. Plans they've had every year, and are further away. This was the only time I'll ever have a graduation ceremony. My grandpa is my last biological grandparent. FML
Today, it was my college graduation ceremony. My parents didn’t come because they “forgot”, although I told them and had been reminding them for months. Last year was my little sister’s high school graduation. My parents wasted no time going to her ceremony and then took her out to dinner. FML
Today, I have manager-level education, an MBA, a second management master's, and I'm on my way for a PhD, but I'm also a migrant who is stuck doing a shitty job because the damn country I have migrated to (Canada) has very little regards for previous non-canadian work experience, even as a manager! I gave up so much for this!? FML
Today, and for the past three months, I've been stuck in a group project with three students who spend 90% of their time talking to each other. This project is mandatory to graduate, and a team effort is practically required in order to do well. I can already feel senioritis kicking in. FML
Today, I tried to finish an essay, which is already overdue by 5 days. I know the longer I procrastinate, the longer the pain will last, but my brain is still not working and can't start to write. FML
Today, I had a beautiful dream. I dreamed that I somehow got into Stanford University, but in class I couldn't keep up with them. In reality, I'm terrible at school. FML
Today, I have several projects to finish and one exam tomorrow. There's this one project I do not know how to do, and nobody has told me the goddamn topics for tomorrow's exam, plus for some reason, there are too many ants crawling in my office, desk, and a few on my PC monitor. I rarely eat in my office. So, yeah. FML
Today, my art class had a project where you made a "statue" out of a metal hanger and pantyhose, and paint it. Being the only guy in the entire class and painfully single, I was not aware that pantyhose is so stretchy, so I got annoyed when it ripped. The teacher felt the need to make a huge scene about this. FML
Today, I skipped class to take the girl I like to the airport, and after giving her a goodbye hug I kissed her on the cheek. She laughed and said, "Maybe we should discuss some boundaries when I get back." FML
Today, my name was called during an assembly because I'd won some sort of prize. Everyone booed. FML
Today, I found out my dad got Covid after spending the weekend at home. All my classes have me doing final projects, and my dorm's internet is a dumpster fire. FML
Today, I found out my Chemistry professor failed me on purpose, all because she’s still salty about me dating her ex-husband. This was well over a year ago. You’d think someone with a PhD would be mature enough to move on and stop being a bitter bitch. FML
Today, I was sitting in a library when a cute boy approached me, so I grabbed the nearest book. When he asked me what I was reading, I said I was revising for an English test. He laughed and pointed out that my book was in French. FML
Today, I overheard my school counselor mentioning that community service is required to graduate. As a Senior who is a good, well-behaved student, but rarely leaves my house due to social anxiety and hearing problems, this is kind of a HUGE problem. And no, nobody else ever told me about this until now. FML
Today, I went to my first meeting at the university women's group, excited to become a more involved feminist. The first item on the meeting's agenda? The upcoming bake sale. FML
Today, I decided to take some local college courses to improve my résumé. I got into the physics room and a large, multi-colored sign in large print stated, "NO THROWING OR STABBING." FML
Today, I lost my diary. The diary in which I write all my appointments/chores/grocery lists, etc. It includes "Wash last week's underwear", "Batteries for vibrator" and "Diarrhea meds". I'm 99% sure I lost it in one of my classes. I'm dreading going to college tomorrow. FML
Today, I learned the “almost complete” transit that would cut my commute in half is delayed at least another year. When I chose my high school, they said it would be complete by the year’s end. I’m a senior now and it definitely won’t be done before my graduation. FML
Today, I excitedly started my first university psychology course. Enthusiastic and ready to learn, I listened as my teacher introduced himself. Turns out he's a major transphobe, who is in cahoots with the likes of Jordan Peterson and Ray Blanchard. Only 12 weeks to go. FML
Today, I had to email my professor, saying, "I can't go to the event assigned in place of class today, due to the mass shooter in the sewers." Gotta love living in the USA. FML
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