Shopping

Our soles

By Gregory - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, while shopping for a pair of shoes, I saw a pair I really liked lying around, so I sat down to try them on. Then, a man came up to me and pointed out that they were actually his shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 838

You deserved it 6 644

Time to get chomping

By Anonymous - 05/11/2024 22:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I ordered groceries online and thought I’d gotten a good deal on apples. I didn't notice they were sold individually, so now I have 36 apples sitting in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 439

Supermarket crash

By Anonymous - 03/03/2023 10:00

Today, I slipped on a small wet patch of floor in the grocery store and fell flat on my back, bringing my half-full shopping cart down with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 104

Dog whistle

By uglyshoegirl - 08/03/2015 21:49 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I sent a picture to my best friend of the shoes I want to wear to prom. She replied, "Wow those are so unique". I guess she forgot that last week she told me she only uses the word unique when she hates something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 905

You deserved it 3 163

Season's greetings

By Joe Bloggs - 31/12/2024 15:00 - United States - Detroit

Today, I mistook a stranger in a supermarket aisle for an old friend and gave them a big bear hug from behind. Turns out, my "friend" was just now a very confused man in a very similar, but oddly specific jacket that I thought my actual friend had claimed he made himself. Guess not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 402

Tipping point

By Anonymous - 11/04/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to a self-checkout kiosk and it asked if I wanted to tip. For what? Watching myself scan groceries? I still ended up tipping 10% because I panicked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 465

Weird compliment, but OK

By prettyconstipated - 09/03/2021 14:02

Today, while buying laxatives at a store, the cashier loudly declared that I'm "too pretty" to be constipated. What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 127

The argument for fake IDs

By bryans_fresh - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I wanted to use my gift card for a liquor store. I went to pay the cashier, who said he needed to see my license. I gave it to him, along with my gift card. After paying, he asked me if I wanted him to cut it up, since the card was now worthless. I said yes. He cut up the wrong card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 224

You deserved it 4 897

Bakery people seem to have a lot of weird "opinions"

By AnyaO - 08/09/2022 12:30

Today, I was refused service at a bakery, got yelled and cussed at to the point of tears, and told to go back to my home country, Ukraine. According to the guy, my people are Nazis who spent the past year draining Americans of their tax dollars to fund their war. I couldn’t report him, he was the owner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 250

BIKES!

By Anonymous - 22/06/2021 08:01

Today, I’m doing the 5 km bike ride to the grocery store. As always, I'm well equipped: Shopping bags, shopping list, pen, sunglasses, hat, sunscreen, raincoat, tampons, tissues, lip balm, water bottle… Anything I forgot? Aaah, yes. Money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 313

Silver linings

By Jessé - 23/11/2021 23:01

Today, after going to the convenience store and getting my card declined, the clerk let me come back home with all the things I'd bought so I could look for money and pay with cash instead, so I went back to pay a few minutes later. Karma paid back the goodwill 3 minutes later by making me burn my left hand with boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 248

Authoritarian regime

By Anonymous - 22/04/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was detained by a security guard. I heard him trying to justify detaining me to his boss and it was basically, “She was eyeballing me, so I showed her who’s boss.” I'm now banned from the shop, which is a 30 yard walk from my home. My weekly shop is now a 4 mile drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 88

All dolled up

By Sheila - 26/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I ordered a designer jacket online. When it arrived, it was doll-sized. It turns out that I bought a limited edition meant for action figures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 495

On my butt

By Anonymous - 05/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice I couldn't see, spilling the groceries I was carrying everywhere. Strangely, despite landing on my left knee, I didn't get a bruise there; my left butt cheek hurt though. Apparently, falling forward can still have you pull muscles. I pulled a butt cheek muscle slipping on ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 84

Get me out of this time loop!

By Anonymous - 10/11/2024 03:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I ran into an old friend at the grocery store and told them, "Let’s catch up soon!" We then ran into each other in every single aisle. It got awkwarder and awkwarder, and by the fifth time I was pretty sure neither of us wanted to see the other ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 148

Classic FML

By cpmolly - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Omaha

Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 566

You deserved it 17 439

You're barred

By sarahhbear - 17/11/2012 06:42 - United States - Bryan

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 141

You deserved it 3 205

A Losing Battle Is Raging

By Anonymous - 06/12/2024 03:00 - Canada - Ottawa–Gatineau

Today, I realized I’d been walking around a small grocery store for 10 minutes holding an avocado I grabbed but didn’t need. Too embarrassed to put it back, I guess I’m buying an avocado. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 543

He hath risen

By Anonymous - 09/04/2023 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the grocery store when I tripped and knocked over a tower of Easter chocolate. The sound was so loud that everyone in the store stopped and stared at me while I tried to rearrange the chocolate bells, bunnies, and eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 199

STOP!

By What's that beeping noise?? - 02/10/2025 12:00

Today, at a self-checkout, I scanned all my items, bagged them, and left. Only when I got outside did I realize I had completely forgotten to pay. I then noticed that security was running to stop me, and I had to explain that I wasn’t a thief, just an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 125

Cool your boots, lady

By thebigpeezy - 27/05/2009 18:37 - United States

Today, at Jiffy Lube, a woman and her 4 year-old son were waiting at the checkout counter. As I walk by them, her son mistakes me for his father and holds my hand. The woman immediately grabs her son's wrist, looks at me, and says, "Sicko." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 345

You deserved it 2 989

Nice try

By GregIsGreg - 29/08/2025 12:00 - Canada

Today, I tried to flirt with the supermarket cashier by saying, “Guess I’m buying enough food for two!” She smiled politely and said, “That’s nice. Will your wife help you carry it?” I said, “What wife?” only to realize I’d just exposed myself as a lonely man buying family-sized frozen lasagna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 510

Lost

By Sam - 17/11/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my mom was on the phone while we went grocery shopping. Apparently, her phone call was more important because she just left me stranded in the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 94

Winner winner chicken dinner

By Anonymous - 26/02/2021 14:02

Today, I realized I have finally turned into my mother when I got excited about using so many coupons that I only paid 70 cents for $14 worth of groceries. I need a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 256

That's still a thing?

By Anonymous - 13/09/2022 04:30

Today, while shopping at a grocery store, I was the winner of the '1,000,000 customer of the year' award. I was surrounded with people taking pictures and everyone looking, all while I was buying adult diapers for my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 178

You deserved it 140

Sorry, I guess…

By NotHelpingAgain - 29/10/2022 00:00 - United States

Today, I was fixing something in the back of my truck when a shopping cart sped past me towards traffic. I jumped down to catch it, but it was too late. Luckily, it didn't hit anyone, but a woman and her husband stopped to tell me what an asshole I was. Sorry for trying to save your car from someone else's cart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 106

They don't make em as they used to

By Kylie - 22/07/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store. I bent to get some dog food off the bottom shelf and felt my pants tear. My jeans split right across the back seam, showing everyone I was wearing a pink thong under them. I had to ditch my cart and leave as I had no way to cover myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 148

Spluttering and confused

By Anonymous - 02/09/2024 20:00 - Ireland

Today, I was in a supermarket using the self-checkout. I tried to scan a loaf of bread, but it wouldn't register. After several attempts and increasing frustration, I slammed the loaf down on the scanner. The bread tore open, and seeds flew everywhere. An old woman behind me said, "Technology can be hard for the young, too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 592

Freakout

By n_london - 12/10/2009 20:19 - United States

Today, I was carrying several bags of groceries up the stairs to my third story apartment when I saw a giant rat climbing down the wall towards me. I screamed and dropped my groceries, which went over the rail and landed on the bottom floor, destroying them all. The rat? Just a big leaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 756

You deserved it 35 968

Thank you, kind stranger

By naive - 10/07/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent twenty minutes helping an elderly man figure out how to use the self-checkout. When we'd finished, he smiled, thanked me, then walked away… without paying for any of his groceries. The cashier assumed I was with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 81

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Wake up Messy DIY Embarrassing Awkward Love Cute Cheating Pregnancy Kids Family Money Birthday Cats Animals Kittens Dogs Parenting Crush Work Painful Sports Vacation Parents Babysitter AITA Holidays Friends Annoying

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I agree, your life sucks 90

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