Today, I argued with my roommate about which eggs to buy: organic, pasture-raised, free-range, or AI-verified climate-positive. We settled on whatever was cheapest. They were $9. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML
Today, I went to the store for one thing: eggs. I came out with eggs, a new plant I didn’t need, and a jar of pickles that I’ll never eat. At least the eggs didn’t roll out of the bag this time, especially now they're practically considered a luxury item. FML
Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML
Today, I was denounced for being a terrible person, because my family raises chickens, some of which we eat. I was then told how cruel I am for "killing innocent birds" and that "good" people buy their meat from the supermarket. FML
Today, I went to buy groceries and got hit with a wave of nostalgia… not because of the products, but because I remember when a carton of eggs didn’t cost as much, if not more, than a gallon of gas. FML
Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML
Today, at brunch, my friend asked if anyone wanted to split the bill. I pointed out that I’d only ordered coffee while everyone else got cocktails and meals. Suddenly I was “the cheap friend,” and somehow defending my $4 coffee turned into a group discussion about generosity, capitalism, and personal values. FML
Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML
Today, my brother turned into a fanatical vegan, and while I was eating my scrambled eggs, sat across from me glaring and whispering, "fried embryo, amniotic fluid" the entire time. I have a feeling i'll be eating most of my meals in my room from now on. FML
Today, at brunch, a friend started talking about wanting kids. The table immediately turned into a debate about whether having children is selfish, noble, irresponsible, or “bad for the planet.” The waiter came back 3 times asking if we were ready to order, while 8 adults argued over the future of humanity next to untouched eggs Benedict. FML
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Top comments
DLBL 23
Nine dollars and you didn't even get to change the world.
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Comments (1)
DLBL 23
Nine dollars and you didn't even get to change the world.