Relatable

Our Kansas

By Anonymous - 20/10/2022 22:00 - United States - Lake Saint Louis

Today, my son waited until the night before he had a presentation on Arkansas due to tell me about it. We (meaning me, alone) stayed up until 3 am making a topographical map of the state out of plaster and drywall. At 8 a.m., a half hour after he got on the bus, I found it laying on his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 1 660

Overreaction much?

By whyyyyyyyy - 19/10/2022 12:00

Today, after a long dry spell, my girlfriend started coming on to me in the living room early in the morning. Just as things were getting good, her toddler rushed in. Now she's crying in her room, and he won't stop sobbing and asking, "Why was your wee-wee in Mommy's mouth?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 420

Take it or leave it

By Thanks - 19/10/2022 04:00

Today, our company hit our sales goals, an all-time high since before the pandemic. Our reward after working so hard all year long? A goodie bag with a keychain with the company logo on them. When I suggested a bonus, my boss said, “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 113

Not again…

By Anonymous - 18/10/2022 06:00

Today, I had a dissociative episode that lasted over an hour. The trigger was the Netflix show Hilda. Other triggers were the games Tekken and Diddy Kong Racing. It just seems random at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 225

Lonely boy

By Corey - 18/10/2022 00:00 - United States - Darien

Today, it's been two years since I won a romantic dinner for two from a work raffle. It's been two years and I still haven't found anyone to go with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 134

Judge Judy and executioner

By jessie star - 17/10/2022 18:00

Today, I'm pregnant. So far, I have been criticized about 20 times for “making poor choices.” Not only did we use a condom, I’m also on the pill, and have an IUD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 146

You deserved it 209

Rubbing it in

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 12:00 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, I went to the pub to have a drink and feel better. I had a chat with an old drunk Irishman and he told me that he reads people and he is very certain that I’m a sad person. I am indeed a sad person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 155

Time to move on

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 02:00

Today, I have to pretend like I don’t have feelings for a friend I've know for over 10 years. I have to pretend that my heart isn’t breaking into a million pieces thinking about him with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 538

Irritable

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 00:00

Today, as I have lately, I’ve been feeling like my boss finds any excuse to be upset with me and tell me how I’m doing wrong, when most times it’s just so stupid there’s really no point in it. For reference, I work in long term care. I messaged her and she got upset with me because she saw my name pop up and overreacted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 98

I wanna be oppressed so bad

By Anonymous - 15/10/2022 16:00 - United States - West Hartford

Today, my stepfather decided he was no longer part of our family, and refused to come to family dinner, all because we're all women, and he isn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 108

Smoking is cool

By Wheeze - 15/10/2022 10:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I've learned that you can get chronic obstructive pulmonary disease from second-hand smoke, even if you don't smoke. I don't have it yet, but my parents are heavy smokers. They insist that the health risks are "exaggerated". Why don't you go tell that to my grandma, who actually DOES have COPD and was a heavy smoker until recently? FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 132

Major red flag

By Whybother - 15/10/2022 06:00

Today, the nutcase I was dating broke up with me because I don't want to open a shop with his broke ass using my lifelong saved money. He's now throwing all I told him in confidence back in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 133

Weird request

By EpicOracle - 14/10/2022 18:00

Today, after being apart for three months, my fiancée said the only way she'll take me back is if I send her some of the pictures we took on our first date. I deleted everything when I thought we'd never work out again, so it probably might not work out again, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 469

I've had even enough

By nobabies - 14/10/2022 06:00

Today, I started my period. Unfortunately, my last period only ended six days ago. PCOS sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 105

No fun

By Blueballzwill - 14/10/2022 02:00

Today, I still haven’t consummated my marriage with my new wife. She said no sex before marriage and I obliged for 2 long years. During our honeymoon, she kept making up excuses. Now when I sit down and talk to her, she calls me a “horny pervert” and accuses me of “using her for sex” and stormed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 960

You deserved it 553

Bad connection

By Anonymous - 13/10/2022 18:00

Today, and after a lot of effort to reconnect with my family after a while of limited contact, I found out from the family group text that my mom, sister, and grandmother went on a vacation without me, and I didn’t even know about it until they posted some airport selfies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 300

Dragons aren't real

By IHaveThePower - 12/10/2022 14:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I had to explain to two different educated adults - one with an IT background and one pure maths Master - that dystopian literature is not an accurate historical record of the Middle Ages. Somebody get STEM majors some humanities… FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 169

Jumpy

By bunny - 12/10/2022 12:00

Today, as always, my mom slams every door she closes. I faint when I hear loud sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 198

50 shades of seriousness

By Anonymous - 11/10/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend because he “wasn’t ready for a serious relationship” after being in a serious relationship with me for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 125

For no one

By Anonymous - 07/10/2022 03:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I thought that something that happened with my friends last year had died down. I realised I was on the wrong side of the argument, so I apologised. My friend apologised as well while I was absent, and apparently everyone was crying and hugging. You know the response I got from them? "Umm… OK?" I swear everyone hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 369

Dating is hell

By Th3BaconNinja - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a date with a girl at a fancy restaurant. In the middle of it she says, "Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." I watched her get up, walk over to the door, leave, get in her car, and drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 845

You deserved it 6 125

Sounds fun

By Anonymous - 06/10/2022 01:00 - United States - Chester

Today, I discovered what it feels like to be extremely constipated while having a vomit-inducing migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 105

Parents react to announcement [GONE WRONG]

By Anonymous - 05/10/2022 00:30

Today, I came out as bisexual while we were in the car. My mom started crying behind the steering wheel, driving at 85 mph. She later told my dad, even though I asked her not to. My dad said, "Give it a month, he'll grow out of it." I realized I was bi 4 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 397

Media frenzy

By Anonymous - 04/10/2022 22:00

Today, my sister had about 10 seconds of screen time as a nameless extra in a movie and mom won’t stop crying she’s so proud she saw one of her babies on the TV. I used to work for the BBC. I was on TV for minutes at a time, at least once a week, and she was never this proud of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 402

You deserved it 150

Early warning

By Loser - 04/10/2022 09:30

Today, I went out to dinner with the girl of my dreams. Wanting to get to know her, I asked her what she’s looking for in a relationship. She scoffed and said how relationships are for the weak and that it’s better to not catch feelings to avoid being hurt. I guess I don’t have a chance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 164

Never crush on coworkers

By Anonymous - 04/10/2022 02:00 - United States - Berthoud

Today, I found out that a girl who I really liked at work, who is my manager and with whom I'm friends, and who knows I like her, has been secretly dating someone else who works there for a month, and everyone at work knew except me, because she didn't want to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 491

Call CPS

By Mortified - 03/10/2022 23:30

Today, while on holiday in Melbourne, I begged my wife to take a day off from yelling angrily at our 4 year-old. A few hours later, she was cursing and yelling in front of gathering onlookers because he didn't want to go inside LegoLand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 183

Taxi Girl

By Anonymous - 03/10/2022 13:30

Today, I became one of those women who gave birth in a taxi. I used to laugh at those stories, because I couldn’t believe they would be so unprepared that they couldn’t get to the hospital first. Oh and I had to get a taxi because my husband had been watching football and was too drunk to drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 360

Calcultated

By Anonymous - 02/10/2022 07:30

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. Over text. While I was on vacation visiting my old grandparents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 103

Cute, but stressful

By Anonymous - 30/09/2022 15:30

Today, I have been with my boyfriend for about 9 months. I still can't work up the courage to tell him I love him. I've been bursting to tell him for 4 months, but for some reason I can never seem to get the words out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 415

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Love Pranks Miscellaneous Coworkers Jealousy Accident ADHD Autism Relatable Kids Mental health Health Embarrassing Gross Poopoo peepee Family Cute Medication Friends Birthday Mysterious Weird Ghosting Haircut Money Awkward Painful My ex Sex Theater

The Top

Today, after having given up video games for two weeks to focus on school, I finished my last exam of the semester and finally became free. I got home to find that Steam is down worldwide. I just received an email saying every game on my wish list is on sale, but I can't log in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 297

You deserved it 821

Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 073

You deserved it 3 764

Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 367

You deserved it 6 873

Today, I was on a train when we hit and killed a person. We were stalled for 4 hours. The guy sitting next to me asked what I did for a living, so I told him that I'm a vet tech. Then he showed me his infected elbow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 450

You deserved it 3 982

Today, while tuning my bass guitar, I noticed a very strange screeching sound. I leaned over to look behind the neck. The biggest string snapped off and cut the side of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 731

You deserved it 4 726

Today, I finished filling the pages in my passport. Also today, my mom's cat urinated on my backpack, soaking my passport with rancid pee. I have visas that last 10 years and can't be moved to a new passport, so I have to keep this nostril-burning booklet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 241

You deserved it 647