Parenting

What a lovely guy

By pull your goddamn weight! - 16/08/2022 02:00 - United States

Today, I got into a fight with my husband. I told him we’re a stereotypical couple, where the wife is exhausted from doing all the housework and raising the kids. He looked me in the eye and told me I’m lucky he’s still around after how I “let myself go after the third kid.” I have diastasis recti. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 240

Burn out

By ShitOuttaLuck - 02/10/2021 20:00

Today, I'm dead on my feet after being awake since 1AM with the baby. I begged my wife to watch both the baby and our four year-old for an hour while I napped. She refused, and instead said she needed a rest more. Her reason? “I might need to do a shit later.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 207

Desperate nan

By Anonymous - 10/05/2009 04:18 - United States

Today, I graduated from college with two undergrad degrees in biochem and wildlife biology, with high distinction. My mom told me she had found me a job at a petting zoo. I thought she was joking. She then said sternly, "I want grandkids. At least you will meet girls there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 385

You deserved it 3 570

His house, his rules?

By kikajsns - 29/04/2021 07:59

Today, it’s been a week since my dad has decided I’m only allowed to sleep with my door open. Guess how long it’s been since I’ve slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 132

Quite reasonable

By Anonymous - 11/05/2025 00:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, my kids are mad I won’t let them hang out at the “cool” parents house. You know, the house with no rules. I’ve heard way too many horror stories, too many true crime documentaries, plus personal experience, to ever let that happen. I will never EVER trust adults that like to party with kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 147

Knackered

By I'mtoooldforthis - 08/03/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my toddler is sick yet again. The only way he will sleep is me walking with him. It's 2:30 am, and I'm supposed to start back to full time employment in… 5 hours. Parenthood is not for the weak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 141

The struggle is real

By Momguilt - 07/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, after I felt bad for living off food stamps and government assistance so I could be home with my kids after their dad died, I decided to go to school and get a career to support them. Now that I’m working, I feel bad for not having much time to spend with them. I can’t win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 139

Great parenting, dude

By Etherealskye1023 - 14/12/2020 17:01 - United States - Douglassville

Today, my dad told me that I'm nothing but a burden because I can't work, and disability is worth nothing. It's not my fault I ended up in an abusive foster home that left me with spinal cord damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 280

Switching off

By Anonymous - 14/01/2022 17:04

Today, my wife finally gave up on our autistic 11 year-old son and decided to have him taken into a care facility, because his autism is so bad, all he can do is sleep, stare vacantly, play on his iPad, or scream for hours. I’m kind of glad he’s leaving, but I can’t shake the dam guilt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 990

You deserved it 1 072

Grow up

By I fucking hate baby talk - 08/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my wife is mad at me for discouraging our son from baby talking. He's seven, well past the age where exaggerated mush-mouth baby talk is cute. It's grating and off-putting to see him rolling on the floor going, "Me luh mummuh and daddeh" when he's a perfectly smart, well adjusted kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 79

Fatherhood

By Anonymous - 14/09/2022 23:00

Today, I got further proof my boyfriend isn’t a good dad. I had to leave him for about 4 hours to see my mom in hospital, but when I got home the baby was crying to be fed with a dirty nappy. I asked why she hadn’t been fed or changed. Apparently it never occurred to him that that’s why she was crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 797

You deserved it 446

Our little bundles of joy

By Anonymous - 25/04/2021 23:00

Today, my partner and I were both horny at the same time. I entertained our 3 kids while he jerked off, then he entertained them while I went and masturbated. We live together and this is the first time we’ve been horny at the same time since Christmas, because we’re both so exhausted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 440

Time to say goodbye

By Anonymous - 12/07/2021 16:01

Today, my mom yelled at me because I didn't hear to her calls while I was listening to music. She told me she wouldn't trust me again, that I'm worthless. When I began crying, she told me that I was psychologically manipulate her. It's been like this all the time lately. I can't wait to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 160

Nice parents you've got there…

By Anonymous - 13/04/2021 19:59 - United States - San Diego

Today, one of my fourth-graders came up to me and asked, "Can you please not put my test grades in the weekly folders? My mom likes to get mad when I get below a 90." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 93

Just a prank, bro

By sarah - 28/03/2021 20:00

Today, my parents wouldn't stop making fun of my shy bladder by camping out in front of the bathroom door while I’m trying to pee. As a result, I haven’t peed in 10 hours and my bladder is going to explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 178

Sex ed done right, sort of

By Anonymous - 18/06/2023 12:00

Today, we discovered that our 14 year-old son is having sex. I was mad as hell at him, but by the end his dad completely took over the conversation, congratulated the hell out of him, and gave him money for condoms. If I wasn’t there, I genuinely think he would’ve asked our son for tips on infidelity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 939

You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone

By Lonely - 05/12/2020 07:58 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, my only daughter and her boyfriend sat me down for an important talk. I was thrilled, thinking they were engaged or pregnant. They actually wanted to tell me they're moving half way around the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 177

Call CPS

By Help please - 31/03/2025 12:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I caught my son "experimenting" with his female friend. When I called her mom and told her what was happening, she said, "I didn't raise a whore. You can keep her!" and hung up. They're both 9. I have no idea what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 144

Treat Yourself Day

By Anonymous - 13/05/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I sent my wife to a 5 hour spa day. She's now upset because she had to wait to get a pedicure, and the house wasn’t clean when she got home. We have a toddler and I was playing with her, running errands, and cooking us a family dinner. She's a stay at home mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 162

Indoctrination

By This is why people are abandoning religion. - 06/03/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 160

Idiot

By I hate teenagers! - 22/02/2025 03:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my idiot son has been getting his ass kicked nearly every day since he spread a rumor that he’d been sleeping with the most popular girl in school. Not only is she the wrestling coach’s daughter, her brothers are all massive jocks. Even though he apologized the beatings keep coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 569

The deal

By Anonymous - 25/09/2023 10:00

Today, after a day of anxiety and worry that something bad would happen, I decided to keep my two daughters home from being flower girls at my sister's wedding. Now my sister and entire family is blowing up my phone. Apparently her wedding is my important than a mother worried about her babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 2 505

Genius

By Anonymous - 09/06/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I realised I’d raised an idiot when my daughter confidently told me she discovered an infinite money glitch by just using one of her credit cards to pay off her other credit card, then swapping them over every month. This is why she’s 28 and still living in her childhood bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 209

Tough love

By Anonymous - 09/08/2020 05:01

Today, I spent over an hour trying to get my niece to sleep and nothing worked. Then my husband got home and yelled, "Listen brat, either sleep now or be buried in the cat's litter box." It worked. She giggled, ran to bed and 30 seconds later she was snoring. What? How? Why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 781

You deserved it 404

Inappropriate

By Pandistoteles - 14/04/2015 21:17 - United States

Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonald's but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 559

You deserved it 2 734

What were you thinking?

By Anonymous - 08/08/2023 10:00

Today, assuming he'd be okay with it, I brought my two kids with me on a first date, as I didn't want to pay for child care. My date made me pay for the kids' meals and my own, then blocked my number afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 3 340

We don't trust you

By Anonymous - 03/08/2026 03:00 - United States - Irving

Today, my dad and stepmom insisted on having a babysitter stay with me while they go off on their 3-week vacation. I'm 22 and work full-time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 78

Keep it to yourself

By oops - 30/11/2011 14:15 - United Kingdom

Today, in a store, an obnoxious woman, swearing loudly and slapping at her out-of-control kids, was disrupting the whole place. I said to the cashier, "That nasty woman should leave the brats at home." She gave me a filthy look and said, "Do you mind? That's my sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 910

You deserved it 19 875

Germs galore

By Anonymous - 18/04/2023 10:00

Today, after spending weeks dealing with my 4 year-old's chronic and acute otitis, it's my 20 month-old daughter who has now got it. Its like that every damn year. Oh, and I just got bilateral otitis myself now and need antibiotics. I almost regret having children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 238

Misery loves company

By Anonymous - 03/10/2011 21:41 - United Kingdom

Today, my 20 year-old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 953

You deserved it 5 813

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Frustration NSFW Sex Growing old Intimacy Fire Love Awkward Customers Annoying Work Kids Relationship advice Break-ups Video games Gamers Parenting Health Ecology Insects Painful Friends Pranks Garden Cats Neighbours Animals Technology Geek Weird

The Top

Today, I have three cracked ribs. I have also, for the first time in my life, developed a case of the hiccups that simply will NOT go away. It's been hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 126

You deserved it 1 792

Today, I got a call from my girlfriend of 13 months. She told me that she had gotten chlamydia from the guy she cheated on me with, and that I most likely have it too. I gave her a diamond ring, she gave me chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 976

You deserved it 2 997

Today, my coworker and I were discussing our office's lack of break room, and how we should suggest a picnic table for our upcoming landscaping. We concluded that someone would let their dog steal our lunches if we ate outside. Working at the vet's sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 396

You deserved it 257

Today, I had a crucial volleyball playoff game. My dad came to watch. While in a set, my friend pointed over to the bench where my dad was sitting. I turned to see my dad snoring loudly as a result of him falling asleep. He achieved this with loudly cheering people all around him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 102

Today, and not for the first time, I wondered if the "musical guest" on SNL was somebody they found busking in the nearest subway station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 275

Today, I picked up my first ever brand new car. Top of the line, beautiful, can't be happier. However, trying to insure it, the company has taken my money, but not completed the deal, and therefore I'm not insured. Their customer service knows this in an online fault and I have to wait for them to refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 99