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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Neighbours

    Blinding

    By ... - 29/11/2008 11:50 - France

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I did a full striptease for my girlfriend to "You Can Leave Your Hat On." When the song was over, I was completely naked. She then said : "Maybe we should've closed the shutters…" FML
    I agree, your life sucks 36 628
    You deserved it 12 051
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    Keywords

    Health Transportation Airplanes Awkward Miscellaneous Smartphone Grandparents Photography Annoying Embarrassing Relatable Job interview Work Love Proposal My ex Social Media Weird Introverts Mental health Parents Animals Dogs Family Kids Make up Money Racism beach Pranks
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, while taking out the trash, I swung the bag back and forth, which caused it to slide across my leg. An opened aluminum can inside the bag ended up slicing through my calf, causing heavy bleeding. Baked beans sent me to the hospital. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 39 811
    You deserved it 12 343
    Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 46 900
    You deserved it 4 531
    Today, I helped an elderly lady unscrew the cooling tank's cap from her smoking car. My reward? A scalding shower of toxic, pungent antifreeze that erupted moments after removing said cap. She didn't even thank me. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 28 869
    You deserved it 18 851
    Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 10 747
    You deserved it 113 328
    Today, I accidentally texted my very strict and judgemental mom instead of my boyfriend. The text said, "I wanna lick ice cream off your dick." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 494
    You deserved it 1 537
    Today, I hugged a man I thought was my dad at the airport. It wasn't my dad. The man’s actual family stood nearby, watching me cling to their father for a solid 5 seconds. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 166
    You deserved it 399
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