Health

Healthy living

By Notasleepingbeauty - 04/01/2022 20:01

Today, after a lifetime of yoga, pilates, and general fitness to stay thin and healthy, five years of chronic pain and weight gaining treatments have rapidly made it so my 68 year-old mother, who never exercised and eats like crap, has a better looking body then me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 221

When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression

By Anonymous - 04/01/2022 08:01

Today, again, I listened to dozens of people continue to whine about how pandemic restrictions are the hardest thing ever while continuing to battle the chronic illnesses, loss of family, underemployment, trauma, and ensuing depression I've struggled with, largely in secret, for the last 15+ years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 316

Stop it already

By soccer8goalie - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Parkersburg

Today, I was punched in the face because my uncontrollable hiccups were "annoying". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 057

You deserved it 4 688

Healthcare for all

By gas mask please - 02/01/2022 14:01

Today, my husband is refusing to go to a gastroenterologist. His farts have gotten so rank, they could be used as weapon to extract info from political prisoners, but he still insists nothing is wrong. Another night of this and I’ll be sleeping outside in in 30°F weather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 130

Some help you were

By Logged Off - 02/01/2022 07:59

Today, I turned my phone off for the first time in three weeks to have a one-hour nap. I had kept it on because my next door neighbour has health problems and I offered to be an emergency call if he needed help. I was woken up by two ambulances arriving at his house. Turning on my phone, he'd left me 5 voicemails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 938

Feed me

By Anonymous - 01/01/2022 23:00

Today, I’m in danger of losing my job as a full time carer because my charge, an autistic 11 year-old, hasn’t eaten a thing in 3 days because he wants a meal that doesn’t actually exist, which he saw in one of his online cartoons. I have no idea what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 126

Heavy load

By Anonymous - 01/01/2022 10:58 - United States - Verona

Today, I had to place under the carpet another patch of 1/4" plywood over another broken spot in the hardwood floor. My not-so-flatmate refuses to anything about her morbid obesity, and will definitely cost us our deposit when the landlady finds out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 217

Probably

By nexus - 01/01/2022 16:59 - Papua New Guinea

Today, did anyone else spent the last moments of 2021 shitting their brains out on a toilet? FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 202

Happy New Year, maybe

By boardAtTheHospital - 01/01/2022 05:00

Today, I'm home alone and it blows, especially since my wife has to stay at the hospital to get chemo, and I can't stay with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 326

You deserved it 122

Time is running out

By TravellingDr - 31/12/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I'm accepting professional defeat and preparing to move. My state has one of the lowest vaccine rates in the country. If I have to see another ICU full of people with Covid just because they chose not to get vaccinated, I'll become one of those doctors who think all patients are stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 467

Kid A

By Anonymous - 31/12/2021 14:01

Today, my adult son is visiting, sick on my couch with influenza A. He's spent all week screaming about how anti vaxxers are stupid, but admits that he didn't get a flu shot because, "they don't work." I got my flu shot and still got sick because I'm immunocompromised. He fails to see the irony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 209

We need to talk more about mental health

By Anonymous - 31/12/2021 08:01

Today, my mom had a breakdown. I found her on the kitchen floor, sober, but naked from the waist down, all her hair cut off with a knife, and eating her way through all our tins of cat food. I wish I could say this was her first time but it’s not, it’s her fourth. I don’t know what to do anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 143

Thanks for bringing that up

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mother asked my live-in girlfriend if she's had any problems with me peeing the bed. I haven't wet the bed since I was seven and I'd hoped to take that secret to my grave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 252

You deserved it 3 106

Unmasked

By crushedgal - 30/12/2021 07:59

Today, I found out I have Covid, from a guy who ghosted me last week after sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 638

Break a leg

By Anonymous - 30/12/2021 05:01

Today, like every other day of my life, I have hypermobility. I had an important dress and tech rehearsal for a production due to start tomorrow. Guess what day my ankle decided to give out midway down a flight of stairs, leaving my foot rapidly swelling… FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 103

The healthcare system is broken

By no sleep til - 29/12/2021 11:01

Today, I tried talking to my doctor about my insomnia several times, but all she does is prescribe me antidepressants, and tells me to take melatonin or exercise. I ate two melatonin gummies nearly 12 hours ago. I haven’t slept a wink, and my insurance won’t pay for another doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 149

Don't catch you slippin' now

By Anonymous - 28/12/2021 17:01

Today, I somehow miscounted the steps on the staircase I've used multiple times a day for 20 years, then fell all the way to the bottom. Doctors say I fractured my coccyx, which is basically the ass bone at the bottom of my spine. I can neither sit or lie on my back for at least 6 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 157

NPD FML

By Anonymous - 28/12/2021 14:01

Today, I saw a Facebook post from my mom about my cancer, how she’s exhausted caring for me, and quit her job to be by my side, blah blah blah. The woman hasn’t set foot in my house in 11 months after I got a restraining order against her, and my "cancer" is a mole I’m getting removed next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 206

You deserved it 139

Please clap

By Anonymous - 28/12/2021 11:01

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. How did I find out? I'm sitting in a hospital room being given antibiotics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 909

You deserved it 134

Dingus

By ghhhhhhh - 28/12/2021 08:01

Today, a side effect of my new medicine is uncontrollable itching. To “help”, my boyfriend gave me itching powder. When I got mad, he claimed he thought itching powder was used to combat itching. What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 192

Have a Coke and smile

By Anonymous - 26/12/2021 02:01

Today, after my 7 year-old learned at school that water that goes down the sink and toilets is cleaned and then turns up in the taps as drinking water, he is now refusing to drink it at all in case it is recycled toilet water, and if he carries on he may need to be hospitalised for dehydration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 203

Jingle Bells, Batman smells…

By The Asseverate - 25/12/2021 20:01

Today, I coughed so hard that I tore an intercostal muscle in my ribs. Now I can't cover my cough, as I have to cross my arms against my ribcage to stop the pain. FML, FML, F Me All Day Long (sung to the tune of Jingle Bells). FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 144

911 is a joke

By ouch - 25/12/2021 14:01

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and somehow managed to pull a back muscle. I’ve been naked for 3 hours, scared to move because it hurts so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 305

You deserved it 207

Whackos

By Anonymous - 24/12/2021 20:01

Today, after undergoing a rigorous diet and exercise program, I was proud of losing 65 lbs in 3 months. When my favorite client saw me gleaming from my results, she loudly exclaimed that, “all life is sacred.” She assumed I'd had an abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 291

You deserved it 141

Merry Christmas!

By yek - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, I'm spending Christmas Eve at the hospital. Why? Because when I blew my nose, a ball of flesh connected to a tendril of skin shot out, and it wouldn't go back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 406

You deserved it 1 682

Accidents come fast

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I hurt my jaw after I got hit by a car. While receiving medical attention, the paramedic accidentally punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 913

You deserved it 3 005

Agony

By Ouch - 22/12/2021 22:59 - Netherlands

Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 174

You deserved it 217

Where has the time gone?

By Anonymous - 22/12/2021 16:59

Today, I realized that I haven’t showered in a week. I feel disgusted that I took so long to notice, it didn’t even cross my mind at all. Due to my depression, I’ve lost all motivation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 247

Gas giant

By Anonymous - 22/12/2021 11:01

Today, I learned that it isn’t normal to fart hundreds of times a day, no matter what I eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 126

Healthcare in the USA

By still can’t sleep - 21/12/2021 05:01 - United States

Today, despite changing my eating habits, exercising regularly, and taking melatonin, I still can’t sleep. When I told my doctor, she prescribed antidepressants. This is the third time she’s tried to give them to me. That’s her solution for everything, and my insurance won’t give me another doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 155

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 466

You deserved it 6 712

Today, my first day of college, the textbooks I ordered a month in advance still haven't arrived. My first class of the semester is College Readiness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 391

You deserved it 366

Today, I was doing a sewing project in class. My friend said we should get the teachers to model our designs. I said that I did not think I would have enough material to make clothes for one of the teachers. I said this in front of the whole class very loudly, while the teacher was right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 2 443

Today, my fiancée broke up with me because of an argument about a printer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 884

You deserved it 6 127

Today, I needed to cut something open so I asked my roommate to toss me my pocket knife from the counter. Apparently, he heard, "Open the knife then toss me it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 199

You deserved it 1 028

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years is better friends with my younger sister and when she has free time to go out and do something, she would rather spend it with her than with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 597

You deserved it 409