Animals and Dogs: Tasty

Tasty

By chew toy - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, I went to see my sister and took a couple of dog biscuits for her dog. I forgot about them until later when I realised I had a hole in my pocket, near my crotch. The dog pointed this out by chomping my balls to get to the biscuits. My attempts to remove him resulted in more vigorous chewing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 509

You deserved it 920

Animals Dogs

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Angela - 04/01/2012 19:01 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office. People kept staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. Later, I realized my sister's puppies had chewed a noticeable hole in my pants' crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 538

You deserved it 5 577

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 20:14 - United States - Columbia City

Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 428

You deserved it 9 315

Pink tax

By banj0 - 06/10/2012 22:58 - United States - Madison

Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 762

You deserved it 2 211

Handful

By Mary - 19/10/2009 01:11 - France

Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 824

You deserved it 6 930

Chocolate chip

By Anonymous - 29/11/2019 14:00

Today, I was eating chocolate chip cookies around the house and saw a chocolate chip on the floor. Not wanting my dog to eat it, given that chocolate is poisonous for dogs, I swiped it up with my finger and put it to my mouth. It was then that I realized it was a stub of my dog's poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 2 870

By ginya - 07/06/2016 01:58 - United States - Bedford

Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 464

You deserved it 1 079

By Anonymous - 07/07/2011 22:52 - United States

Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 495

You deserved it 30 633

By ScoozieBooze - 20/12/2012 18:17 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 489

You deserved it 32 388

Snack time

By oops... - 12/09/2014 05:50 - Canada - Sylvan Lake

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 597

You deserved it 29 740

Doggy dog world

By wouaf - 29/05/2015 04:19 - France - Voiron

Today, I was out shopping with my little sister. I wanted to try something on, so I put my bag in front of a changing room and jokingly told her to bark if someone came near. She ended up biting a lady who was trying to get into one of the changing rooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 288

You deserved it 5 500

Lobby_Bee 17

Thursday 25 May 2017 13:37

I cringed just reading this. I hope there is still some of your manhood left.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 25 May 2017 16:20

Give the dog a boner!

Comments

Tarlachia 33

Thursday 25 May 2017 13:29

Talk about blue balls...

Arashikage 18

Thursday 25 May 2017 19:19

You use that word, but I don't think you know what that means

MidnaLink 33

Thursday 25 May 2017 21:14

Well, if they're as bad as it sounds, they'll be black, blue and purple. Just hopefully not green.

Lobby_Bee 17

Thursday 25 May 2017 13:37

I cringed just reading this. I hope there is still some of your manhood left.

brenton490 19

Friday 26 May 2017 20:30

I cringed too and closed my legs as well my friend. I'm pretty sure they tucked their self in too...

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 25 May 2017 16:20

Give the dog a boner!

Rebecca Stockert 16

Thursday 25 May 2017 16:38

the ol hole in the pocket trick eh

idk_rose 25

Thursday 25 May 2017 20:16

Look on the bright side! This is my new favourite FML.

lazymaximus 11

Thursday 25 May 2017 23:29

maybe consider wearing underwear?

Nicholas Ortiz 4

Saturday 27 May 2017 1:41

I laughed more than I should have at this post ??

Lucy Vesquez 12

Sunday 4 June 2017 7:23

I guess the dog went NUTS :D

Keywords

Miscellaneous Annoying Work Relatable Health Ableism Vacation Love Awkward Healthy Lifestyle Cute Tinder Money Embarrassing Dogs Cats Poopoo peepee Stressed out ADHD Mental health Gross Anger issues Kids Parenting Family Funerals Roommate Drugs Lonely AITA

The Top

Today, I used a facial mask for super sensitive skin, recommended by several friends with similar skin issues. Apparently, when the warning says, "May cause some slight redness for thirty minutes", it really means, "Your face will have hives and swell to twice its normal size for several hours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 452

You deserved it 4 949

Today, my friend and I were arguing over whose boyfriend was better. Just as I was about to convince her, my boyfriend rang. Trying to start the perfect conversation, I put him on speaker phone and answered, "Hey Tiger, I was just thinking about you!" He broke up with me on speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 884

You deserved it 16 331

The Top

Today, I got fired from my job at a small start-up company. Why? The CEO wanted to give a job to one of his former fraternity brothers who is out of work, and they couldn't afford to keep us both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 285

You deserved it 2 738

Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that I wanted to get married eventually, and there's no way to talk me out of it. He broke up with me immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 502

Today, at my grandad's funeral, as my dad and aunt poured his ashes into the hole, a strong gust of wind blew the ashes into my throat. I choked on my grandad. What made it worse was that the vicar had to stop her prayer to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 93

Today, at a local mini mart, I tried several times to open a door that clearly said "PUSH" by pulling it, much to the amusement to the customers and staff inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 765

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended like it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 341

You deserved it 3 567

Today, my 1 month old kitten peed all over my kitchen floor. I wanted to get some water out of one of drawers and slipped on the piss. My phone shattered and i dislocated my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 647

You deserved it 435