Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Not literally, surely?
Today, I found out that my dad came across my nudes that got leaked online. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Working conditions
Today, I'm sitting in a disgustingly hot office with all the windows thrown open. There is no fan, and the owner won't let us use the air conditioner. The smell of mold permeates the room from the ceiling, giving me headaches by the end of the day. The owner refuses to get someone in to clean it. I can't quit. FML
BAintShht
Great job, Mom!
Today, our dog became ill. My mom wasted no time attending her every needs and became very distressed. When I had appendicitis a few months ago, my mom told me to “sleep it off” and a friend had to take me to the hospital. She only called once to bitch at me for “doing this on purpose to make her feel bad.” FML
Anonymous
Simi Valley, United States
It's a set up!
Today, my brother had texted me, asking, "Why did you take Mom's chocolate? That's pathetic." I proceeded to swear on my own life that I didn't, but directly after that he sent me a picture of the wrapper in my room. FML
ElleSavage
This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
Karma
Today, I finally found a dress I'd been missing for months. It was in a casket, on my recently deceased cousin. FML
vinvin2210
It's what he would've wanted
Today, we went to disperse my father's ashes in his favorite lake. My brother was anxious to show off to his new wife, and took us to a fancy resort on the lake. He fell into the lake with my dad's ashes. Nobody laughed when he got out. Oh and as he's a stingy ass, I ended up paying for the trip. FML
Anonymous
Partnership ended
Today, we had a visit from the bailiffs and police. It turns out my partner has been lying about paying his half of the bills and destroying letters about it. Now I have to find an extra £3k during a cost of living crisis and attend court. This is on top of bailiffs forcefully entering and taking most of our things. FML
ewwww
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Sebummer
Today, I discovered that an unmentioned side effect of my new medication is body zits. I now have zits on my neck, my ear, and inside my nose. FML
forgotten
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Folsom, United States
Invisible teammate
Today, the kids on my cross country team were planning a big surprise party for one of the girls, whose birthday is in a few weeks. It's my birthday today. FML
Anonymous
Sounds like a sitcom
Today, I had to warn the decorator we hired to stop being inappropriate with my wife or I’d fire his ass. Turns out not only is he gay, like super gay with his husband on Facebook, he’s also my wife’s old college buddy. He started crying on our sofa and my wife hit me with her handbag. FML
Anonymous
Quick thinking
Today, I showed up to a meeting without my pants and had to pretend it was part of my outfit. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Saint Albans, United States
Addams Family Values
Today, I overheard my co-workers referring to me as "Uncle Fester". This is apparently my nickname around the office, and has been for nearly three years. I had no idea. FML
a……
Argentina 🌶️ Spicy
Get it where you can
Today, my mom came home unusually early from work and walked in on me hooking up with a guy. What made it more embarrassing is the fact that I’m 19 and my hookup is 52. FML
Anonymous
Too challenging for you? That's my job! I'm an edgy comedian!
Today, I was feeling down so my husband took me to a comedy show. This comedian saw me, heckled me for a full two minutes, then returned to me a further three times during his act to mock me again, zeroing in on every one of my insecurities until I left crying, feeling worse than ever. FML
Anonymous
Love thy neighbour
Today, I found out that I have moved next door to a guy from my school, with whom I've had a arguments with. FML
Brandi
Close
Today, I found out through 23andMe that my ex-husband and father of my children is my 5th cousin. FML
Anonymous
Finland 🌶️ Spicy
Hey there little buddy
Today, I was in my bed masturbating when I felt something on my chest. I looked down to see a spider running around. I'm super scared of spiders. FML
Anonymous
Move!
Today, I went to a TV show filming, but I was sitting behind what must've been the tallest person in the world. I'll probably only get to see the show properly once it airs. FML
Surprised
🌶️ Spicy
So thoughful
Today, it’s my birthday. My husband gave me quite the surprise. He shouldn’t have. He surprised me by letting me walking in on him doing my sister doggy-style on our bed. Happy Birthday! FML
Anonymous
Canada
Great first impression
Today, I woke up early for a job interview. I got lost and arrived an hour late, only to find out it was the wrong day. FML
Sav
🌶️ Spicy
Proportional response
Today, after I hooked up with a guy the other night and we had lots of fun, (or so I thought), I woke up to a text saying, “I feel worthless and disgusting after having sex.” He said he was a virgin and he’s a Christian. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Shot from both sides
Today, I accidentally sent a sext to my boss instead of my crush. Now I'm in the doghouse at work AND at home. FML
#MeDD
Chicago, United States 🌶️ Spicy
The others were too polite
Today, I caught my cousin's husband ogling me at a party. I decided to talk to him, but each time he'd avoid me. Eventually I confronted him about staring at me; he then pointed at the front of my dress, my nipple had slightly snuck out of my low-cut dress. FML
Anonymous
Bit of an overreaction
Today, my girlfriend firmly believes that wild Karens should be classed as vermin, as proven when we met a screaming Karen in Starbucks and my girlfriend jumped straight in there and kicked her ass until she stopped screaming. I'm now waiting to pick her up at the police station. FML
Gary
Need a hand?
Today, a shop I do work for sent a driver to pick up a large item. The driver was helping me load it, but was struggling and holding it awkward like he didn't know how to hold something heavy. Angrily I yelled at him to grab it like me with both his hands gripping the bottom. Turns out he was missing a hand. FML
Anonymous
Meme life
Today, I tripped on an actual banana peel and fell over in front of my crush. I'm pretty sure that's the closest I'll ever come to being a meme. FML
Anonymous
Ball and chain
Today, my husband got mad at me because I asked if we could have 2 hours out of a 16-day trip to go to the beach, just us and our kids. Why is he mad at me for this? Because his mother will be upset if we go do something by ourselves without her. Her husband and the rest of her family will all be on this 16-day trip. FML
mojolady
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Crawling
Today, lice were found in my hair. At the hair salon. I'm now banned from that salon. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Humblebrag
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Fatty
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Canada
Hefty
Today, I was making out with this guy that I like. In an attempt to be romantic, he tried to pick me up and press me against the wall. He couldn't lift me off the ground. FML