Today, I called my boss and said, "I have been awake since 3 a.m. throwing up." He replied, "Great, see you at 9." and hung up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I called in sick for the first time. My boss said that if I didn’t show up, not only would he fire me, but he’d make sure I never find another job for the rest of my life. So I showed up to work with a bucket, puking every five minutes. My boss still made me stay the full nine hours. FML
Today, my boss told me that I'd confessed my love to him last night when he'd held my hair back as I puked. FML
Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML
Today, I was woken up from a phone call from my boss. He asked if I had been asleep. I told him I wasn't, that I was in my car on the way to work. Then my alarm went off. FML
Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML
Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML
Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML
Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on the toilet, and then had to give my boss a valid reason for why I was late. FML
Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML
Today I was home sick from work because my doctor gave me a new pill that made me throw up violently. My boss called. I thought she was checking on me. She fired me instead. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
At 9AM sharp, march into his office and vomit all over his desk. Then see how long he wants you to stay.
catatonicsleep 17
Saying you'd been puking since 3am could imply you'd been out drinking which you would still have to go to work, you should have made it clearer you were sick.
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Comments (75)
bigantennaemay 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
oh, suck it up and go to work. I've gone to work with head cold, vomit, and all that fun stuff before, it's doable.
soysauce1208 18
your boss is a bitch :|
mayrow1_fml 0
It all depends on what his job is. Just because you can do it at your job doesn't mean that his job is the same way.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
I went to work sick once, needless to say I threw up in the water cooler before passing out and pissing myself. Got the rest of the day off. Best day ever!
maxtheman 0
44- LOL win
lindsaymiedema 4
you should just go to work and throw up all over his desk and his face and demand to go home. orelse threaten to vomit on him again!
ItsmeRJ_ 0
What use is a sick employee? Your better off at home then throwing up everywere.
jewjewB 0
yea I would be calling him back and sayin " your not serious right and then purposely barf so he can hear it"
catatonicsleep 17
Saying you'd been puking since 3am could imply you'd been out drinking which you would still have to go to work, you should have made it clearer you were sick.
DocBastard 40
At 9AM sharp, march into his office and vomit all over his desk. Then see how long he wants you to stay.
bigbadtim 7
Stay for the day, or stay employed?
BeastNerd 3
Hahahahahaha. That really sucks balls, though. FYL
bigbadtim 7
If your sick then just tell you boss that you are taking a sick day. You don't need to go into anry details about your situation.
Ninjafriends 1
No kidding. It's a little pathetic, and even suspicious, if someone tries to dress it up and beg for sympathy. Just be straightforward.
suckmyassitsmell 0
He is probably excited because he's one of those guys that really enjoys people throwing up on him. Go ahead, make his day.
FMLephant 2
Cosby sweater fan? I guess it's possible.
perdix 31
He rightly figured that your stomach is empty now and you should be able to work even though you still have dry heaves. Yes, dry heaves can be a bitch, but they are OK in the eyes of the janitorial staff. Next time, don't give out the time of puking info.
BogJuan 5
I wonder when he called his boss. Did he call at 3:01?
El_patron 0
Puke at his face
emilyxorawr 3
you're boss sucks. FYL.
Ninjafriends 1
You are boss sucks