Amara07

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About Amara07

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Amara07's FML badges

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

The list of badges to find

Amara07's favorite FMLs

By IbetIgotAIDS - 12/09/2011 16:15 - United States

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 867

You deserved it 15 300

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 211

You deserved it 31 155

By nofrickenway - 25/04/2012 00:08 - United States - Newport News

Today, I found out that my unemployed and very needy mother-in-law will be moving in with us soon. And during my conversation on the phone with her, she expects us to buy a house and my wife and I can "live with her." My wife agrees with all of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 004

You deserved it 2 744

By Flip - 02/05/2012 05:06 - France

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 823

You deserved it 58 585

By kufan1324 - 05/06/2012 03:47 - United States

Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 209

You deserved it 3 347

By FMlovelife - 28/06/2012 15:28 - United States

Today, I stumbled across my ex's blog. Apparently, while dating me, he realized he was gay. Good to know the one guy I've dated, lost my virginity to, and fell in love with, was never truly attracted to me and was dating me just to be sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 782

You deserved it 2 973

First time, last time

By tuggernuts - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 613

You deserved it 44 800

Wrong 'un

By TheBeautifulOne - 23/08/2012 13:42 - United Kingdom - Ayr

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 115

You deserved it 82 230

By nickw177 - 22/10/2012 01:21 - United States

Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 317

You deserved it 20 773

By Anonymous - 08/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Long Beach

Today, feeling very distant from my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 796

You deserved it 62 385

By fatbabysyndrome - 18/12/2012 17:33 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 822

You deserved it 6 368

By Anonymous - 30/12/2012 06:29 - Canada - Calgary

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 761

You deserved it 3 939

By whatsername92 - 01/02/2013 03:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 580

You deserved it 4 573

By anonymous - 27/03/2013 23:55 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 243

You deserved it 9 269

Excuuuuuuuuse me!

By LadySteveMartin - 02/04/2013 00:18 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 320

You deserved it 8 550

By drama king? - 10/04/2013 22:17 - United States - Bolivar

Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 622

You deserved it 6 011

By future brain bleach addict - 02/05/2013 23:54 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 149

You deserved it 8 589

By Anonymous - 31/05/2013 04:16 - United States - Pleasant Grove

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 626

You deserved it 15 037

By OakStake - 08/12/2013 22:07 - United States - New York

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 343

You deserved it 3 429

By shellz15 - 15/12/2013 12:36 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I took my younger sister to see Santa for a photo. Santa insisted that I was in the photo too. I wasn't sure why he made such a big deal about it until he groped me while the photo was being taken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 428

You deserved it 3 874

shellz15 tells us more.

shellz15 16

Monday 16 December 2013 14:04

Hi all, OP here! I hope you're all having a fantastic festive season with your family and friends :)! I've read some interesting comments and just wanted to address a few things.... Firstly, I'm in my twenties and I'm midway through my law degree, so I'm quite aware of my rights (in australia for those of you who were unaware). More importantly, I did deal with this properly. At the store we went to, there were several rooms and each had a different Santa to make the process a little quicker. This is good because it meant that no other child saw what happened. When it did happen, I was pretty horrified but I kept my cool because I didn't want to alarm my young sister who was very excited to be there. After we left the room, I went up to the service counter and explained everything. The lady profusely apologized and I'm pretty sure this "Santa" was removed straight away. Although it was a massive FML moment and I definitely felt violated, as long as this doesn't happen to anyone else, I'm happy to erase this from my memory and move on! I've been assured that this man has lost his working with children check and hopefully won't be bothering anyone again! Warm wishes from Aus, Michelle