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The all-time greatest FMLs

Unsociable media

By Anonymous - 31/07/2021 00:01

Today, I'm a social media manager, and a client complained about having to put forward her personality to gain followers, also refusing to promote her works personally on camera. She's an actress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 106

Silver linings

By 10 years, 0 dates - 28/11/2020 11:03

Today, I wanted to ask out this cute girl I used to work with. Before I could, she said she likes my only friend there, and asked if could I set them up. Trying to be nice guy and good friend, I did. Then she made her complete lack of interest in me obvious. But hey, at least the gay guy she hung out with thought I was cute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 169

I CAN HEAR YOU

By Anonymous - 21/11/2020 14:02 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, as usual, my flatmate is so loud when talking face to face that my ears and head rattle. I can't say anything because how dare I suggest there's anything wrong with my roommate's hearing. Yet nobody else talks this loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 154

Ouch, ouch, ouch

By Teh_Moo_fml - 13/03/2021 00:30

Today, I learned that you can actually sprain your groin for real. It hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 139

Sophie's Choice

By Anonymous - 02/08/2021 04:01

Today, my love life comes down to a choice in loneliness: I can either be alone, because I never meet anyone these days, let alone an interesting guy. Or, I can go back to my ex, who I left because he made me feel alone while sitting right next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 212

Jan-Michael Vincent? Heather Locklear?

By Anonymous - 29/04/2022 22:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a creepy stalker blog dedicated to some minor celebrity from the '80s that I’ve never heard of. When I asked him about it, he accused me of spying on his private life, even though the blog is there on the internet for anyone to read, and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 152

OCD FML

By necca - 15/04/2021 23:00

Today, during class, my teacher left a small mark on the whiteboard. When I pointed it out, she simply rolled her eyes and told me to, “let it go.” I have OCD and was completely unable to focus on the rest of the lesson because of the mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 741

Hell no!

By Anonymous - 06/07/2023 22:00

Today, I found my now ex was cheating on me, after two years. and planning on leaving me with all the bills and the lease to the new place I'd got with her. She still wants house keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 101

Whine whine whine

By Anonymous - 11/02/2021 15:30 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, it snowed. Rather than enjoy the view, my roommate had to complain every five minutes about the mentally challenged neighbor shovelling snow all day long. As long as he doesn't shovel it into my yard, I really don't care what he does to pass the time in lockdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 104

Extreme shot reaction

By Exhausted - 14/06/2021 05:31 - India - Chennai

Today, a day after my mom and I got the vaccine, we've been doing everything around the house with one hand each through the pain. My dad hasn't helped out at all despite my requests, and sees nothing wrong with this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 321

Social safety nets, now!

By Anonymous - 26/08/2022 04:00 - Malta - Tarxien

Today, it was my birthday. I spent a pleasant day with one of my best friends, then I spent four hours in the emergency room because my husband broke his foot while working. We're both self-employed, so production is going to fall 6 weeks behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 146

Broke as ever

By PolarBear2020 - 04/10/2022 12:00

Today, I've been broke for so long that I felt a pang of envy when a character in a movie said that that they'd bought a tiny cup from a gift shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 177

Boring pandemic

By Anonymous - 08/02/2022 05:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I've been off work for 10 days because my Covid test came back void so I had to get tested again. I went back for 3 days, and now I'm Covid positive to have to isolate again. I live by myself and have no pets. I've run out of stuff to watch on Netflix. My only entertainment is my robot vacuum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 205

Donor

By Anonymous - 03/07/2023 03:00

Today, a few weeks after my ex dumped me and I'd just started to get over it, she asked me to get her pregnant. We had sex once within the year we were dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 177

Dating is hell

By Anonymous - 23/08/2021 06:01

Today I found out my ex-girlfriend from college, who had to leave because her visa expired after we dated for a year and a half, actually came back to the States two years later to get her PHD and didn't tell me. We had parted on good terms and were good friends to each other. I've given up on dating altogether. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 178

Healthy lifestyle goals

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 10:00

Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 195

Positive

By anon - 30/08/2022 06:00

Today, I went to urgent care with a sinus infection. I get them regularly, and just need a course of antibiotics to clear it up, but the doctor insisted I needed to take a COVID test. It came back with a false positive. Now I have to take a week off work, and I still don't have my antibiotics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 364

Frugality

By Gingertabs - 23/08/2021 22:00

Today, I found out I am only entitled to £63 government assistance a month. I haven't worked or even left house for a year and a half, as my agoraphobia/anxiety has spiraled out of control. I don't know how I'm going to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 339

Quiet quitting time

By Anonymous - 26/01/2023 04:00

Today, I went to do a drug test for a new job. While I was there, they said the job was part-time with no insurance. Previously it was supposed to be full time with insurance. Now I have to take a job that pays $20,000 less a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 125

Hazmat suit time

By Anonymous - 03/05/2023 13:00 - Kenya - Nairobi

Today, I went to the doctor because I felt sick. He told me to describe the symptoms I had. With every new symptom I described, he took a step back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 137

Teacher's pet

By Anonymous - 25/10/2022 20:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, I managed to lose my engagement ring, and damage my car. But that was a cakewalk from what happened later, when a teen student tried to set fire to the classroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 122

Slob off

By Anonymous - 16/05/2023 12:00

Today, my mother guilted me into going with her to have lunch with my eldest brother. He showed up having obviously not showered, with filthy clothes, and the stench of rotten teeth on his breath. She criticises me for every little thing, but makes excuses for him being a jobless slob for 20 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 97

Earplugs maybe?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I realized that my mother's voice triggers my misophonia. I don't have the courage to tell her that I literally hate her voice, due to a hearing disorder, because I don't know how to say it without sounding like a douche. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 156

FML Approved, Video #3

By Louis - 15/03/2017 23:00

Ever get that sinking feeling?

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 207

Poor good girl

By mary07 - 15/07/2022 14:00

Today, I woke up, got out of bed, but I didn’t notice the dog right next to my bed and accidentally kicked her. All the treats, apologies, and attempted pets in the world won’t help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 220

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

By Whoishe? - 02/06/2021 06:00

Today, I realized my husband is a completely different person than when we married. It’s only been three and a half years since we eloped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 174

Burning up

By Eliana - 06/05/2021 14:01

Today, my left eye is bright red and painful. Also, I have pimples all over my genitals. Spoiler alert: it's herpes. The eye? A bacterial eye infection. Welcome to a week of pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 349

Memento

By Anonymous - 16/06/2023 14:00

Today, I saw a photo of my wife's ex sucking her boobs in her old phone. I'd told her about em, but she appears to have still kept them because it's a year later, and they haven't been deleted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 232

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 145

Protocol

By zuko - 27/12/2020 23:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, in the store I work at, I was screamed at multiple times for not staying 6 feet away from everyone. The store is packed, and there is not even 6 feet of free space to work with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 119

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I actually had to attend court for an unfair dismissal claim. The woman I fired had an attendance record of 70%, money is still missing from petty cash, and she was twice caught using a company laptop for online gambling, yet somehow it still made it to a courtroom as “unfair”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 357

You deserved it 96

Today, I was pitching at a fastpitch softball game. The other team chanted about the ball being too high and almost hitting the batter in the eye. After throwing the next pitch, the ball was savagely returned by the batter, straight into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 407

You deserved it 2 789

Today, after getting home from the supermarket, I went to unlock the door so my dad could carry the groceries in. No matter how hard or how many different ways I tried, the lock wouldn't shift. My dad eventually grabbed the keys, twisted once, and after the door unlocked, called me an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 550

You deserved it 10 632

Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 192

You deserved it 2 948

Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 106

You deserved it 4 519

Today, I misread a message that said they needed someone to volunteer for an event. Since the message was from my committee senior, I read the volunteer part and said yes. I missed the "and host it" part so now I have to give a speech in front of all the senior professors and the guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 632