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Today, I left my brand new iPod Touch outside. There had been a drought for the past 3 weeks. Not anymore. FML

#3292692
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11390) - you deserved it (63017)

On 06/28/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML

#13275274
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11389) - you deserved it (33156)

On 10/01/2010 at 10:32am - misc - by northernlass - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was texting this guy i've liked for a really long time, because of how nice and sentimental he is. We were sending each other things like "You make me smile" and "You're so damn cute" when finally he said "Let's just stop texting and hook up already." So much for sentimental. FML

#13507844
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11387) - you deserved it (36875)

On 10/19/2010 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

#20512214
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11383) - you deserved it (36420)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, Muse cancelled their upcoming show in Oslo. I bought my sold-out tickets on the black market for double the retail price, and have no way of getting my money back. FML

#20184120
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11381) - you deserved it (36859)

On 11/29/2012 at 4:12pm - misc - by faen (man) - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)

Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my Grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box,"Face this side toward crowd for best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on it's side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML

#2252019
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11378) - you deserved it (53426)

On 05/24/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Tyler_Padgett (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

#16495261
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11375) - you deserved it (113552)

On 06/04/2011 at 5:36am - love - by PizzaBoySwag (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have a busy day of college work ahead of me. I figured I'd best have a good breakfast. Then I realised I'd completely ran out of food except for various types of sauces and condiments. So what am I having for breakfast today? That's right. A nice cup of Gravy. FML

#13416322
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11371) - you deserved it (27334)

On 10/12/2010 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia, she smiled and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughed. FML

Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I decided to be funny and tell him I was Iron Man and nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML

#6753896
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11369) - you deserved it (34606)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I hit a horrible tee shot from the 18th hole. I decided to use my driver to take my frustration out on a nearby bush. The bees who lived in that bush decided to use their stingers to take out their frustration up inside my golf shorts. FML

#3555037
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11368) - you deserved it (63195)

On 07/07/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States

Today, I went into a small coffee shop. In line, a guy came up to me and was like "I haven't seen you here before, are you new in town?" and I replied with "Oh, no I've lived here for years. The coffee here is crap, though, so I only come here when Starbucks is full" He's the owner of the shop. FML

#883621
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11367) - you deserved it (71659)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:40am - misc - by oopsiecoffee (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was partnered with this really sexy guy for an audition. He says, "Am I really stuck with you? I can't even stand being seen with you in public!" I start cursing him out really loud, but then I realize that he's only reading the script. Everyone was staring, and he called me a crazy bitch. FML

#2445222
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11365) - you deserved it (63553)

On 05/30/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by jazzyfizzle (woman) - United States (New York)



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