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Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

#20558609
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10354) - you deserved it (88212) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/24/2013 at 7:01pm - animals - by BaliTheDog - France

Today, I met my fiancée's parents for the first time. Her dad was telling me how he's not rich but not poor either. I replied, "Well, as long as you're not a garbage man!" Guess what his profession is. FML

#12994880
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10353) - you deserved it (36206)

On 09/10/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by charlie043 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML

#6050280
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10342) - you deserved it (39828)

On 10/29/2009 at 1:15am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother called to say that my 11 year old nephew found my secret stash of nipple tassles, furry hand cuffs, and a bottle of lube. He doesn't want to visit me anymore. FML

#5874
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10339) - you deserved it (27793)

On 02/03/2009 at 1:51am - kids - by peneloperigby (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, at physical therapy, the girl next to me had a blue armband. I said, "Hey, sweet iPod". She said, "Actually, I have diabetes." FML

#56080
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10339) - you deserved it (36856)

On 02/16/2009 at 8:31pm - health - by LA (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend and I watched Juno. When the baby is born in the film, I put my arm around my girlfriend and whispered in her ear that one day it could be us having a baby. She responded by punching me in the happy sacks and telling me I wasn't getting any from her in a long time. FML

#5931603
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10338) - you deserved it (27992)

On 10/21/2009 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Ouch (man) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, my boss told me that I'd confessed my love to him last night when he'd held my hair back as I puked. FML

#13510751
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10334) - you deserved it (31066)

On 10/19/2010 at 11:24am - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML

#20107434
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10334) - you deserved it (32121)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by blabbermouth (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, I went and got a spray on tan. I forgot to push the hair cap up. A few hours later, I was completely tan, except for the top half of my forehead was pasty white. It will last for five days. FML

Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML

#19245135
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10332) - you deserved it (33116)

On 03/09/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by h4rdy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML

#17649868
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10327) - you deserved it (47234)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by only1bigdogme - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I saw my male boss holding a purse. Just to be a smart ass, I made fun of him as if the purse was his. It was his. FML

#45766
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10325) - you deserved it (39486)

On 02/15/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by gregoyles (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my computer stopped working. Me, the technology challenged one, decided to do a system recovery on it hoping that I could make it better. Turns out, system recovery means deleting all the files off the computer including family photos, music and assignments and starting fresh. FML

#5636534
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10320) - you deserved it (48794)

On 10/04/2009 at 3:03am - misc - by rebeccaremily - Canada (British Columbia)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

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