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The all-time greatest FMLs

Shady

By Anonymous - 03/09/2024 20:00 - Sweden

Today, after I ordered a pair of "one size fits all" leggings from a sketchy online store, they arrived. I eagerly tried them on only to discover they fit… but only one leg. Now, I’m stuck with what looks like a bizarre spandex leg warmer. The company doesn’t accept returns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 517

Love is in the air

By Anonymous - 21/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, a first date had gone surprisingly well. We spent two hours talking, laughed at the same dumb jokes, and even agreed to meet again. Walking home, I texted my best friend, "I think I actually like this one." Unfortunately, I sent it to my date instead. His response was, "Good to know I'm 'this one.'" FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 415

Brake check

By Suzie - 03/07/2026 15:00 - Australia

Today, I was taking my driving test and everything was going perfectly. As I pulled back into the testing center, I smiled because I knew I'd passed. Then I got out of the car without pulling the handbrake. The examiner had to jump back in and hit the brakes before it rolled into an actual parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 435

Haha, fat people, haha

By We are horrible people - 03/01/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I decided to put my friend through the ultimate test of maturity: watching an episode of My 600-lb Life. He didn't even go ten minutes before he started making jokes. I didn't go much longer before I started laughing at them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 835

Try new things, you never know…

By Chelsea - 07/12/2025 20:00

Today, as this is the real world, I accept that my guy likes me partly for my fit (and I think nice) body, so I accept him saying the one thing nicer than my body is me nude with another woman. So his B-day gift was me and a mutual lady friend in some joint nude pics. However, I do mind these pics turning me on more than my guy does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 325

Isn't that some sort of crime?

By WHAT HAPPENED TO CHIVALRY - 16/02/2026 09:00

Today, my toddler bolted in a parking lot, running through lanes of cars, right past a man, and forcing me to drop everything I was holding and catch him. I gave the man hell, demanding to know why he didn't even try to stop my child from running into traffic. He just said, "Not my kid, not my problem." Asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 1 146

I'll play chicken in my sleep

By Maya - 07/08/2026 00:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I’m the latest learner of the lesson that, however desperate one is for relief from both, it is wrong to take sleeping pills (for insomnia) and laxatives (for constipation) on the same night. I'd have been fine alone. The catch is a night of pooping as I slept taught my guy that I’m bad to sleep with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 410

Alexa, play "Bet She's Not Your Girlfriend" by Pet Shop Boys

By Anonymous - 02/06/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend went back to her ex for the fourth time. I don’t know why I keep going back knowing that will happen, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 872

Hotly debated topic

By Office Space 2025 - 23/05/2025 22:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, my coworker and I debated whether 100 average dudes could take down one gorilla. He said, "Only if 30 of us are willing to die." I disagreed, so we started working it out, using a whiteboard to do the math… which we forgot to wipe before the next meeting. HR now has us on a watchlist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 502

You deal with it

By Anonymous - 07/08/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, one year after giving my girlfriend an ultimatum that if she aborted our baby, then I would leave, she had the baby… and then left it with me. Now I'm stuck as a single parent while she is out living the high life, wanting nothing to do with either of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 1 160

Grand-baby moment ruined

By Anonymous - 28/02/2026 00:00

Today, I rushed to my son’s house, eager to meet my new grand-baby, who his annoying wife wouldn’t let me see at the hospital. Before I could even pick the baby up, his wife started freaking out that I “smelled like cigarettes” and threw me out because it was “bad for the baby.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 1 160

Tense

By Lucia - 03/12/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out my husband and I are banned from family gatherings, all because he was my sister’s ex-husband. They need to come to terms with #1, that was 2 years ago; #2 we’re obviously a better fit for one another. If he was "the One", he’d still be hers; #3 you can’t force someone to love you when they don’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 2 231

The future looks bleak

By Anonymous - 29/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had an epic, two-hour conversation with a brilliant, beautiful future leader of our industry. She's an intern. I'm just some loser horndog of a senior manager in another department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 580

Messy

By TheNewDad - 26/02/2026 00:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were changing our newborn son when he peed on her, making me lose it laughing. Less than five seconds later, as I picked him up to clean him off, he did a huge poop, all over my hands, arms, feet, and clothes. Instant Karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 561

Gaming the system

By Anonymous - 06/12/2025 09:00

Today, I indulged in some online gambling. I wisely only spent $100 and won, quite a bit; I even wisely withdrew 2/3rds of the money into my bank account. Thing is I'm on SSI, which requires me to keep a maximum amount of money in my bank; if it goes over I get cut off. Now I'm scrambling to spend my winnings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 413

Happy birthday!

By Broke girl - 31/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I told my friends that I’d cover dinner for my birthday. Five minutes later, my bank app hit me with a low-balance alert. Everyone had already picked their orders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 424

Bang bang BANG

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 08:00

Today, and for years, we've had an old rifle on the wall in my dad's office that his grandad brought back from WW2. Purely on a whim because I was bored I took it down, aimed it at random things making "bang bang" noises. It was still loaded and now my dad's university diploma has a big big hole in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 1 786

Merry Mystery Christmas!

By Santa - 24/12/2025 00:00

Today, I wrapped all my Christmas gifts at midnight. In my exhaustion, I forgot to label them. On Christmas morning, everyone will open presents while I try to remember who was supposed to get socks versus who was supposed to get a coffee maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 383

Chilling

By QuentinX - 11/01/2026 15:00

Today, I tried to casually lean against a counter during a conversation at a party and missed. I recovered by pretending I meant to crouch and check my shoelaces. No one bought it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 332

Slick moves

By Frank - 30/12/2024 20:00 - Australia - Daylesford

Today, I tried doing a backflip off the diving board into our hotel's swimming pool. Instead, I flopped into the pool so hard it sounded like a cannonball, and now my stomach is bright red. My friends will probably bring this up for the rest of our holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 522

Not woke

By Anonymous - 15/08/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my phone alarm blaring at full volume. I grabbed it to hit snooze, but in my half-asleep state, I accidentally threw it across the room. It hit the wall, bounced off, and landed in my fish tank. My fish is fine. My phone is not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 579

What did I do now?

By Friendless - 04/04/2026 20:00

Today, I connected two of my long time best friends. Upon chatting with each other, they discovered how toxic I was as a friend to both of them. They agreed that those traits don't exist anymore, but they are too hurt to continue their friendship with me. Fire away the YDI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 506

Plumbed out

By Jeff101 - 25/03/2025 20:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I tried to fix a leaking pipe under the sink. I watched a YouTube tutorial and was feeling confident that I could get the job done. Two hours later, half of the kitchen was practically flooded because I forgot to cut the water off, and scrambled to actually find the main valve, then I had to call an emergency plumber, who showed up, laughed, and fixed it in five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 588

Movie night

By Boo! - 14/12/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to sneak a burrito into a movie theater by hiding it in my jacket. Halfway through the trailers, the foil popped loudly, and the burrito slid out and rolled down the sloped aisle like a tiny log. The theater lights were still on, people turned to watch, so I pretended it wasn’t mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 527

Romcom moment

By Anonymous - 06/03/2026 09:00

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I was tired of waiting for him to propose. It turns out he was going to propose and had the ring and everything, but I fucked it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 751

Nice try

By Anonymous - 14/09/2023 14:00

Today, I fed my husband a vegan beef burger so I could show him that it tastes exactly the same when he didn’t notice. He noticed on the first bite and spat it across the kitchen because he thought the meat had expired before I cooked it, and tasted disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 1 933

Mucky

By Anonymous - 04/04/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I discovered that my body wash bottle's top came open last night without me realizing it. Space is limited in my bedroom so the only place I could put it (I live with my parents and they can be absentminded) was behind the TV. The good news is it didn't get on the TV; the bad news is it's all over the stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 375

Just take your food, lady

By Anonymous - 04/02/2026 20:00

Today, my DoorDash account, which is my primary source of income, has been suspended. I got another ridiculous complaint from some overly sensitive Karen because she saw my three dogs in the car while I was delivering. It’s not like my babies were touching the food or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 1 050

Excellent

By Anonymous - 21/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I walked into my apartment after work, only be to greeted by an awful smell. I searched every inch of the place, convinced something had died. After an hour of searching around, I found the source: a single forgotten boiled egg in one of my backpack's pockets. I will never forget the smell of sulphur or whatever it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 471

Mamaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

By Anonymous - 08/01/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I mistook my neighbor’s karaoke party for a heated argument and called the cops. When they arrived, everyone was in the middle of a dramatic rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 627

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The Top

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 673

You deserved it 8 175

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 908

You deserved it 3 145

Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything. I replied, "Guess." He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently, I've been bitchy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 548

You deserved it 71 239

Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 512

You deserved it 4 215

Today, it’s been 6 months at my job and I still can’t get used to the morning shift. Even with a changed diet, exercise, meditation, and no caffeine after noon, I'm averaging about 2 hours of sleep a night. My body will always choose sleep deprivation over falling asleep at a reasonable time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 154

Today, I was awakened by knocking on my door, only to find my parents standing there. Turns out, they booked two one-way tickets to visit me from another country. Their plan? I should scrap my upcoming 2-week vacation to hang out because they invested in this trip. Oh, and they didn't book a hotel. I'm 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 112