The Top · The top of the year

Anonymous · 27 June 2026, 12:00 ·Woking, United Kingdom

Tough break

Today, my bouncy, friendly, loving, energetic dog was diagnosed with a spinal condition. Now, if she runs, jumps, or plays she’ll cripple herself. Bonus: she has no idea anything’s wrong, and just stares out a window wondering why her beloved human has suddenly banned her from doing every single thing she loves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493 You deserved it 47

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Anonymous · 2 July 2026, 00:00 ·United States

I tried

Today, after spending two hours baking cookies for my niece's school's fundraiser, I packed them into a container and drove to the school. When I got there, the teacher looked confused and said the fundraiser was next Saturday. By the time the actual date arrived, every cookie had been eaten by my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146 You deserved it 309

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Anonymous · 6 July 2026, 12:00 ·United Kingdom

Hero of the hour

Today, I stopped a car with its handbrake off from rolling into a group of kids by holding it until it stopped with me half under the tyre, dislocating my knee. Everyone said I was a hero except my dad, who threw an empty can at me because now I can’t push his wheelchair to the working men’s club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441 You deserved it 51

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Anonymous · 11 July 2026, 00:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

What is wrong with you?

Today, my husband came to me with a proposition. He asked in all honesty if he could please have a one-time pass to have sex with someone else. He said that she’s a virgin and it’s always been his dream, and something every man deserves in this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526 You deserved it 134

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Awkward · 13 July 2026, 09:00 ·Houston, United States

Squeaker of the house

Today, I wore new shoes to a wedding. Halfway through the ceremony, the left shoe started squeaking with every step. During the silent vows, I had to walk across the room sounding like an angry rubber duck while people turned to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334 You deserved it 127

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Anonymous · 15 July 2026, 15:00 ·Warren, United States

I'll call you!

Today, my smartphone fell out of my cargo shorts pocket onto the floor of my friend's car. I didn't even notice until he drove me home, where I noticed that the pocket was empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211 You deserved it 150

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Anonymous · 20 July 2026, 03:00 ·United States

In slow motion

Today, I volunteered to take a group photo at a birthday dinner, backed up for the perfect angle, and sat directly in a bowl of guacamole. Everyone watched it happen like a slow motion accident. No one warned me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284 You deserved it 133

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Anonymous · 22 July 2026, 12:00 ·United States

It's the new sensation sweeping the nation

Today, I came home to see five teens, my kitchen counters covered in an assortment of greens and berries, and a camera. They were filming themselves stuffing their faces for what they called the “leaky butt challenge”, trying to see if any of them caught the bug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381 You deserved it 97

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Anonymous · 24 July 2026, 20:00 ·Addlestone, United Kingdom

Germs

Today, I finally put away two weeks worth of clean laundry, only to get to the bottom of the pile and find mice droppings. I now have to wash my whole wardrobe, bed linen, and towels with disinfectant (On top of sanitising my furniture and floors). FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 144

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Anonymous · 27 July 2026, 00:00 ·United States

Call the doctor

Today, I tried to go to bed on time, complete with going to the bathroom and not eating several hours before bed. I dunno why but for some strange reason I was woken up by my own flatulence. Again. I hadn't eaten several hours before bed to prevent this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313 You deserved it 95

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Anonymous · 29 July 2026, 09:00 ·Cardiff, United Kingdom

UFO

Today, I found a mysterious container in the back of my fridge. I opened it to try and figure out what it was. I still don't know what it was, but now my entire flat smells like it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140 You deserved it 279

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Anonymous · 31 July 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Been there, done that

Today, I spent an hour trying to figure out why my laptop wouldn't charge. I restarted it three times, watched two tutorials, and almost ordered a new charger until I realized that the actual charger wasn't plugged into the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 You deserved it 448

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Anonymous · 2 August 2026, 22:00

Brainiac

Today, my ex-husband has always been a snob about his high IQ and has always been open about his disappointment that our children are academically average, but now he tells me he won’t be helping pay for college because, as he puts it “What’s the point?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 400 You deserved it 102

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Anonymous · 5 August 2026, 03:00 ·Las Vegas, United States

Room service

Today, I spent at least 10 minutes trying to get into my hotel room because my key card wouldn't work. I finally went to the front desk, where they came along with me, then politely informed me I was trying to open the room next door to mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 You deserved it 384

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Anonymous · 7 August 2026, 12:00 ·Dallas, United States

Clean break

Today, I was let go from my stepmom's family business because she and my dad are getting a divorce, and she says it's too painful and awkward to have me still hired on. I can't afford a wrongful termination suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347 You deserved it 65

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Anonymous · 9 August 2026, 20:00 ·Riverside, United States

The biohazard downstairs

Today, I’ve lived in my apartment for more than five years and never had more than the occasional housefly. Three months after I got new downstairs neighbors I’ve been hit with a massive roach infestation, and they decided to bring their lovely ant friends with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382 You deserved it 60

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Anonymous · 12 August 2026, 00:00 ·United Kingdom

Iron Man

Today, my boyfriend owns a voice-activated Iron Man helmet that no one is allowed to touch. Well, I put it on while he was walking the dog, and the battery lasted just long enough to close it around my head, then died, trapping my head inside, which is how he found me 15 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 You deserved it 574

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Anonymous · 14 August 2026, 09:00 ·Dallas, United States

I don't wanna go

Today, I came home after spending the past two months at summer camp, just for my parents to excitedly announce that I'm going to be spending the next two weeks in Florida with my grandma. We have to leave in literally a couple hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355 You deserved it 63

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Anonymous · 16 August 2026, 15:00 ·Rialto, United States

You have been warned

Today, a woman showed me a copy of my wedding picture with her face photoshopped over mine. I burst into tears and cussed her out for being a creepy bitch. She had proof my husband had sent it to her that way, saying “this is how it should’ve been”. She was just trying to warn me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499 You deserved it 85

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Tenant · 18 August 2026, 22:00 ·Quebec, Canada

Busted grid

Today, my cat knocked my phone into the bathtub. I grabbed it, dried it, and put it on the charger without thinking. Five minutes later, the bathroom lights went out and my landlord texted me asking why the fuses had tripped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 You deserved it 423

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Ghosted · 21 August 2026, 03:00 ·Tlalpan, Mexico

It's never too late

Today, a friend replied to my invitation to watch the Silent Hill movie. The invitation was from January. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295 You deserved it 66

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Anonymous · 23 August 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Claws out

Today, I rescued a tiny kitten from the rain and brought him inside. I dried him off, gave him food, and wrapped him in a blanket. He immediately climbed onto my lap, purred for ten minutes, then sprinted upstairs and started destroying my curtains. I saved a cat. The cat saved nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145 You deserved it 243

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Anonymous · 25 August 2026, 22:00 ·Aurora, United States

Irrigation

Today, after my neighbor asked me to water her plants while she was away, and I carefully followed her instructions for 6 days, she came home. She stared at the living room and asked why I'd watered the fake plants but forgotten the real ones on the balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 394

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Lauren · 28 August 2026, 03:00 ·Canada

Gooey mess

Today, I volunteered to bring a homemade dessert to a family dinner. I made a cheesecake, decorated it beautifully, and carried it across town on the train. When I arrived, everyone complimented it. Then I realized I'd forgotten the removable bottom of the pan, so the cheesecake was still sitting inside a metal ring and couldn't be served. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 You deserved it 278

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Anonymous · 1 September 2026, 20:00 ·Swedesboro, United States

Heavy machinery

Today, I picked up a 7lb stick vacuum like I do regularly, except this time it caused a disc in my spine to slip and pinch a nerve and now I can't walk right or sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363 You deserved it 68

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Anonymous · 4 September 2026, 00:00 ·United States

Hot mic

Today, I joined a video meeting 5 minutes early and spent the time quietly complaining about one of my coworkers to my friend. When the meeting started, I realized my microphone had been on the entire time. Said coworker was the first person to say hello. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 You deserved it 549

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Anonymous · 6 September 2026, 12:00 ·Türkiye

Islands in the stream [derogatory]

Today, I noticed that I hardly communicate with anyone anymore. Yet another friend has sent a random link to our Messenger conversation with, “It’s just to remind myself about it.” Apparently our friendships have evolved into using each other as bookmarks instead of actually talking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224 You deserved it 94

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oh hi · 8 September 2026, 20:00 ·United Kingdom

I'm not a magician

Today, I found a wallet on the pavement and took it to a police station. The officer opened it, looked at the ID, and said the owner lived two streets from me. I went back outside and nearly walked into said neighbour. He recognised his wallet immediately and hugged me. He then asked if I could also return his missing cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322 You deserved it 70

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Anonymous · 11 September 2026, 00:00 ·Los Angeles, United States

The One

Today, the 'one who got away' came back into my life. A day after both of us expressing our love for each other, she blocked me in every way for no reason. I really have no idea what I did. I want to say I’m done with her completely but I know I’m just lying to myself. Man this sucks either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299 You deserved it 137

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Anonymous · 15 September 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Hogs gonna hog

Today, I, a retired U.S. Army soldier, was shouted down and called a liberal snowflake and even accused of stolen valor. Why? I admitted that I absolutely hate Trump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569 You deserved it 144

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