Love, Sleep and Dreams: Dreamweaver - FML

Dreamweaver

By Anonymous - 09/02/2021 08:01

Today, I woke up with a scream of pain to find the reason I've had so many realistic dreams lately: my boyfriend has been messing with me in my sleep because he thinks my reactions are funny. For instance, when he pinched me today, I experienced a very realistic wasp sting in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 450

You deserved it 118

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

Panic!

By sweetdreams - 18/09/2016 06:39 - United States - New York

Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 772

You deserved it 1 401

Night terror

By Kira - 12/06/2021 04:01

Today, it was my first time sleeping at my boyfriend’s house. I happened to have an incredibly realistic nightmare in which I woke up to thousands of centipedes crawling all over my body. My boyfriend got to watch me scream and slap myself repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 98

By pizzafaceinc - 02/03/2010 02:24 - United States

Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 737

You deserved it 3 043

By lily389 - 21/03/2011 05:02

Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 298

You deserved it 4 077

By anonymous - 27/02/2010 16:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 557

You deserved it 3 102

By Secretlypossessed - 29/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 961

You deserved it 276

Sleep well?

By Karen - 29/08/2022 16:00

Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 64

By InsomniacToBe - 19/07/2012 15:55 - United States - Saint George

Today, I had a dream that my ex-boyfriend had become a vicious serial killer and was hunting me down because I broke up with him. I don't know what scares me more: the way he hunted me in my sleep, or the fact that it wouldn't surprise me if it actually happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 014

You deserved it 3 873

By Knottywoman - 03/09/2017 23:15

Today, I dreamt my fiancé was rolling frozen potatoes onto my bed to wake me up. In reality I woke up screaming to intense cramps in my legs which almost reduced me to tears. I could barely walk for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 222

You deserved it 237

By breeeeeh - 21/06/2013 22:18 - France - Brou-sur-chantereine

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 679

You deserved it 69 921

Next

Top comments

TwoBytesCarley 26

Tuesday 9 February 2021 15:48

Seriously, wtf is wrong with some people?

Annette Oinenen 3

Tuesday 9 February 2021 20:10

EX BF Child! This should read EX!

Comments

TwoBytesCarley 26

Tuesday 9 February 2021 15:48

Seriously, wtf is wrong with some people?

Annette Oinenen 3

Tuesday 9 February 2021 20:10

EX BF Child! This should read EX!

kfchicken 31

Thursday 11 February 2021 12:24

...damn people out here ending relationships over harmless pranks that could be sorted out with a conversation

TheGoldDunsparce 4

Thursday 11 February 2021 13:31

Her bf sounds demented and probably belongs in a straitjacket...

DonULFonso 22

Tuesday 9 February 2021 20:11

A glass of luke warm water and the hand of your sleeping boyfriend later, dump this bed wetter ;) ...

diraven 15

Wednesday 10 February 2021 6:05

Punch him in the balls while he's sleeping. He'll probably think that's hilarious

Wisernow 10

Wednesday 10 February 2021 17:17

Geez, he sounds cruel. Get out.

Rae_943893842 6

Thursday 11 February 2021 0:13

a**hole

Keywords

Love Awkward Relatable Students Work Racism Health Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Revenge Food Animals Cats Boredom Management Kids Parenting Sexism Parents Miscellaneous Weird Job interview Social Media Jealousy

The Top

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 153

You deserved it 68 066

Today, my dad uttered the dreaded words, “Now don’t worry boy, I knows exactly what I is doing.” A few short minutes later he has a destroyed impact drill, my ladder is snapped, my kitchen window is broken, my wife is in hospital for stitches, and we can’t find the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 66

The Top

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 376

You deserved it 5 712

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 108

You deserved it 2 779

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 242

You deserved it 5 864

Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 254

Today, at almost 26 years old, my beard is finally coming in. Too bad it, like the hair on my head, is 50% grey already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 676

You deserved it 277

Today, my 9 year old shitblossom of a sister decided to wake me up by hocking a loogie into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 755

You deserved it 1 841