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Level up

By WhoamI? - 12/09/2025 03:00

Today, I got a bad performance rating at my new job. I was very depressed, and a colleague tried to console me. He said, "You're doing a good job for a level 59." which is a junior developer. I'm a level 63, a senior developer and a level above him. I don't know what hurt me more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 217

Thanks for your concern

By alipallie - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, after running across London to catch my train, I collapsed, panting, into a seat across from a concerned elderly woman. She leaned over to ask whether I had my inhaler and I smiled and nodded. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I'm not asthmatic, just really unfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 409

You deserved it 7 184

Unprepared

By Anonymous - 12/10/2025 09:00

Today, during a job interview, I was asked to describe myself in three words. My mind went blank, so I panicked and blurted out, “Hungry, sleepy and… flexible?” The interviewer raised an eyebrow and said, “That's not the worst answer I've ever gotten but… come on.” I didn’t get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 179

Marked

By Anonymous - 29/10/2025 03:00

Today, I learned that bunnies mark for territory. And when I say mark, they do a 360 no scope piss and spray everything all over the walls. The smell is horrendous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 121

And you did it at my birthday dinner

By Anonymous - 10/11/2025 12:00

Today, as a makeup influencer, I came home to find my entire makeup collection destroyed. She dumped, stomped, and covered it all in used kitty litter for good measure. My obsessively jealous girlfriend swore I was dressing up for another woman. My collection was worth over $1800. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 225

Product placement

By Anna - 14/11/2025 00:00

Today, half-asleep, I stumbled into the bathroom in the dark. I didn’t notice my boyfriend had yet again left the toilet seat up. I sat down, fell halfway in, screamed, and in my panic flushed the toilet with my phone in my hand. Goodbye, my little Samsung friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 342

Biphobia is real

By Anonymous - 15/11/2025 20:00

Today, is it wrong that i was a dating a man and everything was going good, until him saw him on Grindr? Is it bad for me to still want him? To have sex him? To have him be my baby daddy? Knowing he likes dick too? Help! Help me! FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 382

Happy birthday indeed

By Anonymous - 17/11/2025 15:00

Today, it was my birthday. I had an appointment at the dentist and went to do some shopping after that. A while after I got home, I met my dad and he just started complaining that I didn't spend any time with them on my birthday. When I tried to explain to him, he just got angry at me and started yelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 66

WAKEY WAKEY

By Anonymous - 19/11/2025 09:00

Today, I woke up to the sound of my own voice yelling, “GET UP, YOU LAZY CUNT!” on repeat. It took me a moment to remember I'd drunkenly recorded my own alarm last night because I thought it would “motivate” me. It scared me so much I fell off the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 476

Cool

By Anonymous - 21/11/2025 03:00

Today, at the gym, I was trying to look cool doing pull-ups in front of someone I liked. On my first pull-up, my hand slipped, and I fell backwards onto a yoga ball, which shot me straight into another guy doing push-ups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 359

Kinda cruel

By TGIF - 22/11/2025 22:00

Today, I overheard coworkers talking about someone showing up with lettuce or something in their teeth. I laughed and joked it “could never be me.” Later, in the bathroom mirror, I discovered I’d had the same exact green blob stuck between my front teeth for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 381

Peaceful

By kirrby - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to break up with my girlfriend because I feel unappreciated. She fell asleep while I was attempting this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 268

You deserved it 4 635

Don't touch me

By Drama - 10/01/2025 03:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 129

Fidgeting

By Anonymous - 17/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Plymouth

Today, I was on a first date when my lactose intolerance decided to make an appearance. My date thought I was just “getting comfy” when I kept shifting in my seat. Nope, I was trying not to fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 91

Date night

By Anonymous - 19/01/2025 03:00

Today, I sneezed while eating a bowl of soup. As I did, a glob of carrot shot out of my nose like a missile, and I couldn’t stop laughing. My boyfriend, who was sitting across from me, wasn’t so amused when the glob splashed all over his white shirt. He’s now mad at me for “ruining his only smart shirt.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 188

Am I wrong or am I right?

By Stephanie mom - 20/01/2025 14:00 - United States

Today, I was arguing with my husband about a girl. Ever since he met this person, he’s been neglecting our marriage. He says they’re just friends. I forcefully grabbed his phone, blocked all her socials, and deleted her number. He got so mad that he said he wanted a divorce and stormed out of our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 830

Confused, lost

By Anonymous - 26/01/2025 03:00 - Switzerland - Neuchatel

Today, I missed my train. I was actually on the right platform but realized my mistake two minutes after it had left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 237

New receipe just dropped

By Anonymous - 29/01/2025 20:00 - United States - Glendale

Today, feeling ravenous and hungover, I sneakily ate my roommate’s leftover pizza. Halfway through, I realized it wasn’t pizza, it was a frozen waffle with ketchup and cheese they’d left in the box as a trap. I fell for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 1 080

Pipe down!

By Anonymous - 23/02/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate vacuuming at 7 a.m. I was annoyed because I had stayed up late, but then I realized she was vacuuming in the kitchen… at 7 a.m. because the broom "wasn't powerful enough." I gave her the benefit of the doubt until she started vacuuming my bedroom floor while I was still in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 97

Appalling behavior

By he didnt know - 02/03/2025 11:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I showed my best friend a picture of my new girlfriend. He gave me a high five, followed up with, "Looks like we're Eskimo bros!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 132

Plug me in

By Plugged - 04/03/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I found out that when you put Kleenex up your nose to stop it from constantly draining snot, it is possible for it to rip and get stuck in your nose when you try to take it out. Words cannot describe how incredibly uncomfortable that was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 288

Never enough, never

By Anonymous - 06/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I got promoted at work and was excited to tell my mom. When I called her, she immediately asked, “What does this mean for my retirement fund?” and then asked how much I was going to be making. I told her, and she responded, “Oh. That’s nice, but when are you getting a real job?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 94

Dinner date

By Anonymous - 08/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Halfway through dinner, I noticed my mascara was smudging, so I tried to discreetly wipe it off with my napkin. As I looked up, my date was staring at me with wide eyes. Apparently, I had smeared it all over my face and I looked like a raccoon. He didn’t even offer to help me fix it, just smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 216

Many such cases

By Diane - 09/03/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, I sent a text to my best friend venting about how terrible my date was going. I called the guy I was with a "clueless idiot." I sent it to my date instead of my friend. He responded with, “I’m sitting right in front of you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 814

Pissed

By Anonymous - 18/03/2025 20:00 - South Africa - Alberton

Today, I went to the movies with some friends. During the movie, I really needed to pee but didn’t want to disturb anyone. So, I waited and waited. Finally, I couldn’t hold it anymore and bolted to the bathroom… only to get locked out of the theater in the process. The staff had to escort me back in during the end credits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 104

Stinky

By Anonymous - 20/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, after wearing high heels all day, I took them off in the car, and sat cross-legged. My husband immediately threw a fit beside me, claiming my feet were disgusting and "smelled bad." He pulled into a parking lot and threatened to leave me there unless I put them back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 287

Coyness is nice, and coyness can stop you…

By Krissy - 01/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I went to a friend's party, only to realize I was in the wrong apartment, after getting the address confused. Instead of awkwardly leaving, I stayed for a bit and pretended I was someone’s cousin. I was oddly suspicious that no one noticed me mingling, but then it turned out to be a shady MLM recruitment party for a leggings company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 415

But… I'm hungry!

By Anonymous - 05/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I ordered a pizza for delivery after a long day. When the delivery guy showed up, I realized I had no cash, so I tried to pay him using my credit card. Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember the PIN, and after three failed attempts, the delivery guy just stared at me in awkward silence and said, "It’s okay, I’ll just take the pizza back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 505

Lose-lose

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my mother has been seeing my maths teacher. I'm still failing his class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 495

You deserved it 8 024

**** you, Steve

By Not Steve - 08/04/2025 22:00 - United States - Sacramento

Today, after my company laid off half the contractors I usually deal with and replaced them with AI tools, I spent my day “collaborating” with a chatbot that keeps calling me Steve. My name isn’t Steve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 64

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I mailed out a college application that is going to another country. I paid $250 for the application and $11 for shipping. I just realized that I forgot to sign the bottom of the application. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 481

You deserved it 32 294

Today, our art teacher told us we will have to build a giant Coca-Cola bottle made of smaller ones as our art project for next week, meant to represent the damage consumerism does to our environment. I think he doesn’t understand we will have to buy tons of Coke to get the bottles needed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 379

You deserved it 1 007

Today, I run a business with my partner, and work at a separate business as an employee. My partner got Covid, so our business is closed for now. I got it from him, but still need to work at the other place because the only other employee flew to Turkey on holiday, and the owner has no idea how to run her own business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 145

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend started singing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 264

You deserved it 10 691

Today, I stepped on a glue trap for scorpions. Bare foot. There was a scorpion already caught on it. It wasn't dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 088

You deserved it 740

Today, my boss made sure to do one last thing before he retired. Fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 094

You deserved it 314