The Top · The top of the year

Julie · 15 September 2026, 12:00 ·Seevetal, Germany

Rescue me

Today, my mum has a rescue dog who grew up in a cage and, even after 18 months of love & stability, is still extremely loud and aggressive. So, bottom line, she ruined not only her own life, but also her partner’s, her cats’, mine, and the neighbours’, all so that ONE little arsehole canine can have a nice life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314 You deserved it 137

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Sick · 20 September 2026, 00:00 ·Santiago, Chile

Family bonding time

Today, I am 38 weeks pregnant with my fourth baby. Not only do I have severe pelvic pain, a bad cold and earache, but my three kids are running fevers as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365 You deserved it 155

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Anonymous · 22 September 2026, 09:00 ·United States

Out of control

Today, I accidentally stuck my thumb into my eye and scratched myself just under my eyebrow. I don't know why my hand was anywhere near my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112 You deserved it 204

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hangry · 24 September 2026, 15:00 ·London, United Kingdom

Feed me

Today, after I packed my lunch last night and put it in the fridge, I grabbed my bag and left for work. At lunchtime, I opened it and found an empty container. I'd packed the container but left the food in the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236 You deserved it 156

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Anonymous · 26 September 2026, 22:00 ·Milwaukee, United States 🌶️ Spicy

I've got a lot on my mind

Today, I heard my fiancé moaning in her sleep. She was very obviously aroused, so I woke her up to have a little fun. The sex was absolutely mind-blowing… until she said another man's name. We're supposed to get married in two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307 You deserved it 96

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Anonymous · 29 September 2026, 03:00 ·Denver, United States

Suspect

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been actively cheating on me the whole relationship. When I called him out and showed him the evidence, he lied to my face, saying he didn’t know who sent the Facebook messages, but that it wasn't him and he did nothing wrong. He is constantly on his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348 You deserved it 82

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Anonymous · 1 October 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Cats and fish

Today, I decided to try online dating, but installed a IP tracker link before I did. Every freaking profile who messaged me was from Nigeria. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325 You deserved it 48

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Regret before I sleep · 3 October 2026, 22:00 ·Peterborough, United Kingdom

Rushing my **** off

Today, hours before sleep, I'd thought I'd enjoy eating 4, yes 4, pieces of Millionaire's Shortbread. I now have a sugar rush, can't sleep, and I feel sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 You deserved it 413

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Anonymous · 6 October 2026, 03:00 ·Glasgow, United Kingdom

Some angel

Today, I clicked on an “Angel Message” website link from a website I use to research Wicca. As I am a witch with 7 years experience, I knew this was too good to be true, but thought it would just be good for a laugh. Turns out it was a scam website. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 You deserved it 536

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Anonymous · 15 October 2026, 09:00 ·Portland, United States

No car for you

Today, my wife had to pay double on a rental car than the one I had reserved because of a "credit issue" nobody was able to give me details on. I couldn't get the car because my card wouldn't insert or swipe properly. I spent an hour trying to get to the bottom of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267 You deserved it 71

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Anonymous · 19 October 2026, 22:00 ·Cypress, United States

Cost of living crisis

Today, I found out that I'm going to have to work really hard to get a job, since I don't have enough money to finish my bachelor's. I thought it'd be easier, but two weeks in, I'm struggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241 You deserved it 82

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Greicia · 22 October 2026, 03:00 ·Miami, United States

Adulting

Today, I got pregnant even though I was on birth control. The father is nowhere to be found and I don’t even know his last name. My parents kicked me out of the house because apparently, “I’m an adult, so make adult choices.” I’m too scared to get an abortion. I’m at my wits' end. All due to failed birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354 You deserved it 383

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Anonymous · 24 October 2026, 12:00 ·United States

Honestly not cut out for it

Today, I admitted to my fiance that I'm glad I had a miscarriage. He kicked me out and called off our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271 You deserved it 386

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Anonymous · 26 October 2026, 20:00 ·United States

No problem, my pleasure!

Today, I introduced my mom to my friend who performed the Heimlich maneuver on me when I was choking. She proceeded to loudly berate and chew him out, saying that he should have gotten an adult and could have hurt me. Now he won't talk to me and I'm grounded for calling her a cunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387 You deserved it 69

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Anonymous · 29 October 2026, 00:00 ·Birmingham, United States

Can't win

Today, I paid for NASCAR tickets for my husband, because it was something on his bucket list. I wanted to do something nice for him. Every time I tell him something he does that bothers me though, his comeback is, "Sorry I’m not perfect, maybe I should just kill myself and you can have all the money." FML

I agree, your life sucks 343 You deserved it 93

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youjustlostthegame · 31 October 2026, 09:00 ·Perth, Australia

Shipping news

Today, I learned that due to a security incident my favourite fanfiction website will be down for two weeks, possibly four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186 You deserved it 150

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Anonymous · 4 November 2026, 22:00 ·United States

People cope differently

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his own sister's funeral. Not only did I say no, but I'm seriously rethinking our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322 You deserved it 44

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Anonymous · 7 November 2026, 03:00 ·United States

The status quo suits me fine

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after ten months. Why? She found out I didn't vote. Apparently that means I don't care about "her rights" and that's "a dealbreaker." Crazy bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 You deserved it 494

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Anonymous · 21 November 2025, 22:00

Spillage

Today, I had an interview for a job I’ve dreamt about. I sat down in the lobby and spilled coffee on my crotch. I tried to dry it in the toilet, which made it look like I’d pissed myself. When I entered his office, the HR guy glanced down and said, “Long morning?” I panicked and replied, “No, just excited to be here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 329 You deserved it 137

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No justice anywhere · 26 November 2025, 12:00

Stand your ground

Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680 You deserved it 64

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Anonymous · 28 November 2025, 20:00

Germ warfare

Today, as punishment for getting caught kissing my precious newborn grandbaby two years ago, my son and his nasty wife have barred me from even meeting my second grandbaby until she's at least two months old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 You deserved it 1 101

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Anonymous · 1 December 2025, 00:00

Wise words of wisdom to consider

Today, I realized that in some of my early relationships the girls were so possessive and pushed for merger and marriage that they scared me, so now I can only be reliably attracted to women who don't want me. The slightest sign of interest in more than a fling and I'm out. It's been like this for 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 425

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Winning · 7 December 2025, 22:00

You've got this

Today, I practiced a presentation in the work toilet mirror. When it was time to present, I accidentally repeated my “mirror pep talk” out loud: “You are powerful. You are unstoppable.” My coworkers stared like I was summoning spirits before a spreadsheet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 You deserved it 344

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Foreshadowing · 10 December 2025, 03:00

Let's call the whole thing off

Today, I told a customer to “Enjoy your food” as I handed him his receipt instead of his meal. He replied, “You too.” We both froze in silence for a few seconds before he slowly took the bag and walked away in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232 You deserved it 128

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Anonymous · 12 December 2025, 12:00

No biggie

Today, on a flight, a woman in a crop top reached up to get her bag from the overhead locker and her breasts ended up on top of my head for like a second. Total accident, no biggie. That was six days ago, we fly home tomorrow, and my wife hasn’t spoken a word to me since the breast thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537 You deserved it 93

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My mouth tastes like blood · 14 December 2025, 22:00

The more you know

Today, I was able to get dental care for the first time in 4 years. I had been going through all the hygiene motions, but without professional input all that time, no one was there to warn me about the sour candies I had been eating, and how they ruined your teeth anyway. My teeth are well beyond salvageable now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157 You deserved it 406

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Anonymous · 17 December 2025, 03:00

Ten pages?

Today, I emailed my resume to a recruiter but attached a ten-page stream-of-consciousness grocery list instead. The recruiter replied, “Interesting priorities.” Now I’m on a three-email chain where everyone is debating whether olives belong in banana bread and asking about my sandwich preferences. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 You deserved it 395

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Anonymous · 19 December 2025, 12:00

Wakey wakey

Today, I went to bed early, feeling responsible. At 2 a.m., I woke up in a panic because I forgot to set my alarm. While fixing it, I actually turned it off completely. I overslept, missed work, and proved once again that I should never trust myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158 You deserved it 309

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Christ on.a bike · 21 December 2025, 15:00

Make it stop

Today, I wore my Christmas sweater to work, one with lights sewn into it. Halfway through a meeting, they started flashing uncontrollably and playing tinny carols. I couldn’t turn them off. I had to go shove the whole sweater into a locker in the basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217 You deserved it 317

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Anonymous · 23 December 2025, 22:00

Bad dad

Today, my ex complained that the kids cry too much when they’re with him, so I must be telling them bad things about him. Well maybe if he showed up more than once every 6-8 months, the kids would know him better and be more comfortable with him. Court says I still have to continue give him access. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420 You deserved it 88

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