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Surveillance

By Bribri - 15/11/2025 22:00

Today, after a big lunch, my daughter told me she wasn’t hungry and didn’t want a snack. Ten minutes later, the sound of a bag of chips being opened summoned her like a beacon. She burst into the room, shouting, “HOW COULD YOU EAT WITHOUT ME?” I’m apparently not allowed to snack without filing paperwork now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 117

Little helper

By Anonymous - 19/11/2025 12:00

Today, my 10-year-old "helped" me by “fixing” the parental controls on the iPad. I didn’t ask for help. Now it won’t let me access email, news, or even Google, but it will let me watch 47 hours of baby cartoons. I've been locked out of my own device by someone who can’t eat spaghetti without ruining a shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 361

Heeeeeelp!

By baddoggy - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 293

You deserved it 23 857

Bulked up

By Angie - 06/01/2026 09:00

Today, my mother-in-law invited herself to my house to cook lunch. I'm postpartum, depressed, and nursing a two-week old. She fed me four small shrimp and a handful of macaroni. This is what I'll be eating for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 79

Everyone's an expert

By Anonymous - 08/01/2026 03:00

Today, and for this past week, I've had multiple people tell me all I needed to do to cure my incredibly rare chronic illnesses was some essential oils. Putting those 'medications' aren’t going to do anything. They then proceeded to give me more advice on how to treat a kidney transplant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 62

The talk

By Anonymous - 18/01/2026 20:00

Today, I had to have a conversation with my husband about how my toes have gone numb from the diabetes that it's no longer sexy when he sucks my toes, because it just feels odd and uncomfortable to be honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 125

Sweet kids, what happened?

By Tico - 16/02/2026 03:00

Today, I discovered my parents' first Valentine's Day "date" picture. It shows them as 8 year-olds awkwardly smiling for the camera. Mom looked like a super dork with braces and headgear, and Dad looks weirdly like a really pretty girl in boy's clothes. I asked them about it, and now they won't talk to each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 295

White out

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received a $105 parking ticket for being in a handicapped space. The lines were covered by snow, and the sign was on the building twenty feet away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 458

You deserved it 5 433

Commited

By Anonymous - 25/02/2026 03:00

Today, my wife demanded a divorce and full custody of our younger kids, all because I had our drug-addicted daughter arrested for theft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 94

Come on, man

By Anonymous - 06/03/2026 00:00

Today, my parents said that we're never going to see our grandparents again because my grandpa hit my asshole little brother with a belt for calling him a boomer. I love my grandparents so much but my parents won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 257

Low blow

By Alay - 25/03/2026 15:00

Today, while I was working, my friend stopped by and visited with me a moment. After she left, my client asked me if she was my daughter. My friend is 32 and I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 84

Boredom

By Anonymous - 03/04/2026 12:00

Today, I'm still unemployed after almost a year because my last job couldn't transfer me when my wife and I had to move due to her job. I can't even find something like grocery store or fast food. Seriously beginning to resent her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 198

Pervert!

By Faith - 05/04/2026 09:00 - The Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I caught my neighbor peeping through his toilet window to watch my sister bathing in our bathroom. I asked him what he was doing, and he told me he was doing what he always does when my sister is bathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 59

Bad day

By Anonymous - 08/04/2026 22:00 - Canada

Today, I’m a nurse on a 12-hour shift and finally got a 5-minute break to inhale a yogurt. I absentmindedly grabbed what I thought was my spoon from my pocket. It was actually a thermometer cover. A patient watched me freeze mid-bite, slowly process my mistake, and then whispered, “Rough day?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 81

You've got mail

By Anonymous - 10/04/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I got a write up from HR because the new boss says we have to check our e-mail everyday, and I missed checking my e-mail for one single day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 372

Can't be late!

By courtneynaked - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Arab Emirates

Today, my jeans got caught in the airport escalators. Seeing as how we couldn't get them unstuck, my mother made me take them off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 639

You deserved it 3 349

Hang in there

By Jhmmm - 14/04/2026 12:00 - United States - Waterbury

Today, I found out my biological twin sister has a rare type of cancer. What also sucks is that I might have it as well, and I will get tested to find out soon. I’m so scared. I’m in my thirties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 55

Time to chime in

By Women don't owe men shit - 23/04/2026 09:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I heard my husband giving my son the talk about girls. He said, "You want three main things from women: peace, sex, and kids. If they can't give you those, they aren't worth your time." What an asshole I married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 321

Classic case

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son is complaining that girls only want to have sex with him but won’t date him, so he’s afraid he’ll never get married. Funny, my wife only wants to be married to me, but won’t have sex with me. Ain’t that ironic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 137

In sickness and in health

By Boro - 26/04/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my wife filed for divorce because I gained 170lbs due to an accident that paralyzed me in one part of my body, rendering me unable to work out regularly. According to her, I deserve to be “desired” and “there’s nothing there anymore.” Nice to know the past 12 years were nothing but a lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 131

The customer is always right

By Anonymous - 05/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, a customer ordered the spicy shrimp ramen bowl. The menu says spicy, I warned her it was spicy, it’s in the fucking title SPICY SHRIMP RAMEN! Despite all of this, instead of ordering something different, the stupid fucking Karen sent her order back four times because it was too hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 52

Business time

By Anonymous - 09/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I've had a crush on this girl at my office for years. Our work sent us to a conference. We bonded there. That night, we were talking by the hotel pool and she leaned in and kissed me. Tongue and everything. The problem is, at 40, I still bite my nails when I'm nervous. Well, she choked on the finger nail in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 587

What are your unpopular opinions?

By Anonymous - 25/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, during a work diversity seminar, everyone was asked to share “one unpopular opinion.” Thinking it would be funny, I admitted I actually enjoy replying-all to unnecessary company emails because I like the chaos. Nobody laughed. HR asked to “have a quick chat” afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 480

Computer says no

By Anonymous - 03/06/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I told everyone at work I could fix the office printer because “I work with computers.” After pressing random buttons for ten minutes, I somehow changed the language to Korean and printed 87 blank pages. The IT guy arrived, looked at me, sighed, and fixed it in 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 661

Not gonna happen

By notahotel - 10/06/2026 12:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my parents are calling me a spoilt brat and threatening to disown me if I don't let my sister, her six kids, and freshly out of jail boyfriend move into the house I spent 10 years working my ass off to buy without having a mortgage. Sis said I can sleep on the lounge as long as I pay rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 63

No good deed and all that

By Jimmy - 14/06/2026 00:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I found a wallet on the sidewalk and spent an hour tracking down the owner. When I finally returned it, he opened it, counted the cash in front of me, and asked if I was sure there hadn't been more money in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 69

Me me me!

By Anonymous - 17/06/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my mom showed up to the surprise party my sister planned for me on crutches. Car accident? Bad fall? Dog attack? Nope! She's fine, just a malignant narcissist who needed all the attention to be on her. She managed to “fall” several times suspiciously when we were posing for photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 66

ASMR

By Anonymous - 28/06/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has a secret video folder of lesbians kissing from movies, TV shows, and games like The Last of Us, Arcane, Georgia and Ginny, and so on. He says it’s his ASMR folder because something about lesbian kissing noises is extra relaxing and helps him sleep. Yeah, right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 138

Blood drive

By Queasy Dave - 03/07/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I tried donating blood for the first time because my company was hosting a blood drive. Right after telling everyone I wasn't afraid of needles, I fainted before they could even use one. I woke up surrounded by phlebotomists offering me juice while my coworkers whooped like I'd just scored a goal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 260

Bad start to the marriage

By Confusd - 21/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my hopefully soon-to-be ex husband refuses to get an annulment. His female best friend, who’s been in the picture for years, rage quit our wedding and she blocked him on everything. He’s fallen into a depressed state. When we consummated our marriage he was a like zombie. He still claims he “loves me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 110

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The Top

Today, I found out that I'm being sued for posting on Facebook about a customer service experience with a local company. Even though we have witnesses, the owners of the store claim that we're lying about the whole thing and that we're "malicious". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 222

You deserved it 721

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 147

You deserved it 27 110

Today, I got an email from a Scholarship Program reminding me that they had rejected me 3 months ago. Thanks for reminding me I might not make it to college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 132

You deserved it 3 547

Today, working in a liquor store, I had to tell a girl I couldn't sell her alcohol since she was severely intoxicated. She told me to "cash me ousside, how bow dat?" then smashed a bottle of wine and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 862

You deserved it 124

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a Snowshoeing date. I felt sick and suggested we turn back. He said I could wait in the car and continued on the date alone. He was gone for hours, while I was stuck alone in a national park with no cell reception, food, or water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 553

You deserved it 425

Today, I stole a classmate’s graphic calculator because I couldn’t afford one. She reported it missing to the professor. He wouldn’t let anyone leave class until it turned up. Not even saying I had diarrhea had him let me go. In fact, he told me to empty my backpack right there and then. I’m suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 2 651