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Not the only the only thing that's empty

By Anonymous - 13/09/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter called me panicking that her car died in the middle of the road. I had to FaceTime her to talk her through calling a tow truck. Turns out she ignored the warning lights telling her that the tank was low and drove it until the tank was empty. I had to pay for that, plus the tow fees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 134

Snooping much?

By Anonymous - 21/09/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for changing my phone's password, like I thought she would try to access my phone without telling me. When I pointed out she could only know I changed it by trying to unlock it behind my back, she took the sandwich I'd just made and fed it to the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 86

Dangling

By Anonymous - 27/08/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, while making out, my clean-shaven husband pulled away because he could feel my lip hairs tickling him. I thought he was making a joke so I called him a tosser and walked away. Later I checked in the mirror and there they were, two black hairs swinging in the breeze right under my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 287

I'm confused

By Anonymous - 28/08/2026 20:00 - South Korea - Hwaseong-si

Today, after I recently started working in Korean company, my manager said, "Speak Korean, this is Korea." I started communicating in Korean for a few days, but then my manager says : "Why you talk to me in Korean ?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 68

Welcome home!

By Tickedoff the Squirrel - 01/09/2026 09:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, after a week out of town, I came home to discover my front door unlocked. I was greeted by a reeking old lady and her gorging obese middle-aged daughter with a "Who the fuck are you?" and "What are you doing in my son's house?" Said son is the former owner, from whom I legally bought this house four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 75

Suspicious mind

By Mental minefield - 21/09/2026 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, after my husband read about mental load and about what he could do to help with mine, I came home to a clean house, the chores done, and dinner on the stove. I was more anxious and stressed than ever, thinking, "What did he fuck up that I'm gonna find and have to fix at the worst possible time?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 444

Lonely

By Anonymous - 01/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Oak Park

Today. I checked my messages. No one has texted in three days and I have twelve friend contacts but it's Gmail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 89

Fight!

By Anonymous - 05/09/2026 03:00 - United States - Lake Zurich

Today, I told my girlfriend about a huge fight I had with my female best friend. This friend no longer wants anything to do with me, and I was obviously upset about it. Instead of being supportive, all my girlfriend said was, "Well maybe now you'll shut the fuck up about her for once." FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 577

I'm out

By Anonymous - 25/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Chino

Today, I had to make the heartbreaking decision to end my engagement after my fiancé agreed to let several of his obnoxious family members move in without even asking me. He says 'family over everything' but what does that make me? To make matters harder, I just found out I’m pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 77

Wife REALIZES her husband is HIDING sick secret

By Alone - 29/08/2026 00:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my wife was all on board with having kids… until she started obsessively following the Lindsay Clancy case. I just got divorce papers, and when I demanded answers, she said the case made her not want to be a mom and wife anymore. Fuck you, Lindsay Clancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 180

Don't overthink it

By Anonymous - 07/09/2026 00:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I suddenly gained a massive burst of anxiety out of nowhere when thinking about my upcoming assessment appointments for my back and hip surgeries. I need these so I don't end up permanently crippled due to spinal stenosis and a labral tear. The worst part is that I know I'm fretting over nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 81

NEXT!

By M - 29/08/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I realized that, after waiting until I was 29 to be in a serious relationship, I got with a guy that turned out to be exactly like my abusive piece of shit father. Why? Why God? FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 179

Friends in need

By Anonymous - 12/09/2026 12:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was on good terms with my ex, and I thought we were going to get back together. I let him use my car to go back to his place after being at mine. I checked the GPS log and saw a familiar address. I then found out he was using my car for booty calls with someone I considered a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 164

Closure reopened

By Imdoomed - 17/09/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I found out that I’m pregnant just a few weeks after our wedding. I have no idea who the father is because before my wedding I had closure sex with my ex. He’s an olive-color skin tone Latino. My husband is white Caucasian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 494

Welcome back!

By SWCC - 19/09/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I came home to be greeted by my mother-in-law by cussing me out for missing out on events and milestones in both my wife and two year-old daughter's life. She would never listen to "lame reasons", despite the fact that I just came back from a 13 month deployment. So, being a soldier makes me a bad father? FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 122

Nice try, kiddo

By AvengedSevenX - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I came home from work and went into the bathroom. I saw a poo on the toilet lid, and thinking it was a trick toy that my son had got to trick me, I picked it up. It wasn't a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 070

You deserved it 25 790

I got skills

By supergirl7 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I discovered I can properly operate the television remote with my feet. I then realized that it is pretty much my only talent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 605

You deserved it 8 776

Family man

By Anonymous - 24/08/2026 00:00 - United States - Louisville

Today, I found out that yet again I'm having twins. Sounds great and all, but the only problem is that my mother-in-law is the one pregnant. Oh boy, I'm fucked! FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 771

What's going on here?

By Curious - 25/08/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I found an old disposable camera while cleaning out my parents' attic and got the film developed. Most photos were blurry family photos from 2007, but the last few showed my dad outside a restaurant holding hands with someone who wasn't my mom. I'm now debating if I want to know anything else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 59

Social interaction

By Anna - 05/09/2026 15:00 - United States - Cornelius

Today, I went into to shake a big wig's hand at work, and he went in for a hug. I couldn't pull my hand away fast enough, so I cupped his entire titty for at least 10 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 100

Fine, I'll wait

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was in agonizing pain and couldn't move. My parents said they couldn't take me to the ER until the football game on TV was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 264

You deserved it 3 392

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears

By Anonymous - 12/09/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son gave a beautiful eulogy at his uncle's funeral. At the pub afterwards, a bunch of family and friends told me what he did was pathetic, shameful, and an absolute disgrace. Turns out he plagiarised the entire eulogy, word for word, from a movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 71

Hidden talent

By Wtf dude - 21/09/2026 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was working overnight with a handful of coworkers, one who has a reputation for being very quiet. He and I were alone when he suddenly burst into a beautiful folk song. When I told the others what happened, he pretended he didn't know what I was talking about, and now they think I'm nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 97

Rebel yell

By Anonymous - 11/09/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my mom and stepdad finally grounded my horrible, rebellious sister. The problem is that they grounded me as well in order to "keep me in line and make sure that I don't do what she was doing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 68

Smell test

By Anonymous - 12/09/2026 22:00 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, during my meeting with manager, I found out that my coworkers think that I stink. I literally shower every day and use deodorant and perfume. Am I doing something wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 90

Owned

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - La Marque

Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 906

You deserved it 8 065

Truth bomb

By Anonymous - 13/09/2026 00:00 - United States - New York

Today, my son's blood type was tested for college requirements. He's AB-; I'm B+; His mom/my ex is B+, a genetically impossible combo. He wasn't blood-typed at birth. This explains A LOT of my ex's behavior during our marriage/custody issues since then. There's a secret she wanted hidden. No one knows that I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 59

Push past the pain

By dying - 14/09/2026 20:00 - United States - New York

Today, I learned that when you quit smoking, you get "Smoker Flu", meaning you feel like you're coming down with something really horrible. The good news is that my throat is so raw, I couldn't smoke a cigarette if I wanted to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 92

Family way

By Anonymous - 18/09/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I have four daughters in high school. All four announced they are pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 288

RAWK N ROLL!!!

By stagedivefail - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 923

You deserved it 60 166

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The Top

Today, literally the only thing that now motivates my husband to do anything is sex. Not food, money, humour, or anything. Once he’s had sex, he’ll do anything I ask him to for about 8 hours, then he turns back into a depressing, shiftless lump who either goes to work, sits in his chair, or sleeps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 504

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 166

You deserved it 4 765

Random

Today, my boss sent me a Word document that he wanted me to make into a PowerPoint presentation for him. It was a set of proposals for the board of directors about cost-saving options. The third option was to eliminate my position in the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 529

You deserved it 2 195

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Can't, bigamy's illegal." I still don't know if she was joking or not, because she keeps changing the subject whenever I mention it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 992

You deserved it 3 080

Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me to sneeze seven times in a row. That was the closest he's ever got me to an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 945

You deserved it 8 620

Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 938

You deserved it 27 431

Today, I was following my dad while texting, not really watching where we're going. Suddenly, he ran ahead and I looked up to see what he was doing. We were in the men's bathroom. There were 3 guys at the urinals. I'm a 15 year old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 640

You deserved it 62 084

Today, I was doing laundry and realized that my father had left dirty underwear soaking in a bucket outside for the last two weeks. I informed him that they needed to be thrown out, and they smelled like sewage. It's been over 95 degrees outside lately here. He then yelled and sweared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 108