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Dirty boy

By Anonymous - 17/04/2026 05:00 - Mexico - Puebla City

Today, I discovered that one of my dogs has taken a liking to rolling over his own poop. I found out by petting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 84

Close shave

By Anonymous - 21/04/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, as a barista, I tried to be quick during the morning rush. Someone asked for oat milk, so I grabbed the carton without checking. It wasn’t oat milk, it was the cleaning solution bottle we keep under the counter, same shape, same colour cap. Luckily I noticed before serving it, but my manager watched the entire thing in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 324

Bide your time

By Anonymous - 23/03/2026 09:00

Today, I'm being forced to go back to my parents', who kicked me out because they thought I was gay. I'm not. There was a misunderstanding. I don't want to go back to them because they've shown me what kind of people they are, even if I'm straight, but the police and Social Services are making me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 106

No smoke, no fire

By Anonymous - 25/03/2026 03:00

Today, a misunderstanding led to me falsely accusing my husband of cheating. We cleared it up and he forgave me and everything, but my parents are still convinced that he cheated, and won't believe me when I say he wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 509

Great start to the day

By Anonymous - 30/03/2026 12:00

Today, right before a job interview, I spilled hot coffee all over my lap. The stain looked incredibly suspicious. During the interview, the recruiter kept glancing down awkwardly while I tried to maintain eye contact and confidence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 75

Don't blame me!

By Anonymous - 15/04/2026 13:00 - United States

Today, my parents told me they're getting a divorce because of all the strain caused by me nearly dying in an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 53

Close call

By NotKarenTrustMe - 19/04/2026 09:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I called the Vietnamese teacher at my son's kindergarten by my Chinese colleague's name. Luckily, she didn't catch it. I'm not a racist, I was just tired after a long day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 92

Caution flag

By Punishment is coming - 23/04/2026 00:00 - The Netherlands

Today, my husband and son ganged up on me in a game of Mario Kart. I threw the game down and stormed off. The last thing I saw was them high-fiving and yelling "RAGE QUIT" and laughing hysterically. They will both suffer for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 36

The soothsayer

By mustanggt - 23/03/2026 12:00

Today, we had a field trip to the local theme park. As I explained the safety rules, one of the students piped up with, "Yeah, I'm ditching you. Y'all are going to be the ones puking your guts up all over the place." He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 98

RIP Travis

By Fucking shithead asshole - 30/03/2026 15:00

Today, I came home to my daughter in her room, crying hysterically. She's been asking for a pet monkey for a few weeks, and my husband got tired of it and told her about Travis the Chimpanzee (don't look it up if you're squeamish). Thanks for ruining her innocence, prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 386

Kinda based

By Anonymous - 01/04/2026 09:00

Today, a woman accused my husband of being a pedophile because he was at the playground with our daughter alone. To make matters worse, our daughter punched the woman in the face, so now she's pressing charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 68

Chocolate rain

By Anonymous - 03/04/2026 03:00

Today, I'm in the hospital getting prepped for a colonoscopy. Accidents happen, but the worst was right after the janitor finished cleaning the aftermath of the LAST accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 85

Doctor Google

By Anonymous - 05/04/2026 00:00

Today, my mother-in-law 'corrected' me while I was trying to help her father with his Parkinson's medication. She went on and on about how she read on the internet about it. I'm a neurologist, but no, she knows better after a Google search. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 80

Blackout

By Anonymous - 06/04/2026 11:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my wife doesn't remember that last night when she was so drunk (light weight) that she kept telling me to pick up the thingy off the floor and was pointing at it. We went back and forth about it for a few minutes. There was nothing there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 96

Training wheels

By Pizza? - 08/04/2026 15:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I’m learning to cook and invited friends over to prove I’m improving. I timed everything perfectly… or so I thought. I realized I’d never actually turned the oven on. We stood around a beautifully plated tray of room-temperature lasagna while I said, “It just needs… a bit more time.” Two hours later, we ordered pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 369

Put it in park

By Anonymous - 10/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I’m learning to drive and finally felt confident enough to park in a tight spot with my instructor watching. I nailed the angle perfectly, but when I tried to get out, I realized I'd parked so close to the line that I couldn’t open the door. I had to climb out of the passenger side while my instructor pretended not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 110

Mixed signals

By Anonymous - 12/04/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 197

Small town

By Anonymous - 13/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I finally left New York and moved back to my little hometown, only for the job I had lined up to fall through. Now I'm unemployed, can't find anything, and my parents aren't willing to help because they're angry that I "walked out on the family." FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 95

Drip drip drip

By Anonymous - 19/04/2026 06:00 - United States

Today, I got a surprise when a drop of icy cold water hit the back of my neck. I wondered how this could be, as my dad had put in foam insulation on the pipes overhead in my room. It turns out there's one tiny spot that he couldn't insulate due to it being weirdly shaped and hard to reach, which is sweating now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 55

No doxxing

By Anonymous - 21/04/2026 03:00 - United States - Yorktown

Today, me and my coworkers repaired a deck for a couple in Pungo. They got us lunch from a sandwich shop we’d been to a few times before. All of us, the couple, and dozens more people then got Norovirus from one of the sandwich shop employees. I puked so much that I lost SEVEN POUNDS in two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 46

Craving taste

By Anonymous - 23/03/2026 15:00

Today, my husband caught me sneaking out of his parents' house to get food. I love my in-laws, they’re the type of people others dream of having, but the food is so horrible. I don’t understand how in such a large family of amazing people not one of them has figured out how to make a decent meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 95

Been there, done that

By Anonymous - 01/04/2026 12:00

Today, my parents told me that they don't respect my decision to stay single for the rest of my life and never date again, and have made it clear they will continue pressuring me to find someone new. I'm only 27 and I've already been both widowed and divorced. I'm done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 112

Give peace a chance

By Anonymous - 05/04/2026 03:00

Today, I found out that my mom withdrew me from karate at the insistence of my my fucking stepdad, who's a wimpy sissy pacifist who is against violence. I was so close to getting my black belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 86

My body, my choice

By Anonymous - 06/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my parents are sending me to boot camp. All because I drove my sister to her abortion when they wouldn't. Not even she can stop them from doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 144

Bang bang bank

By Freerickson - 12/04/2026 06:00 - United States

Today, I learned that you should never take a girl you meet at the club home, even if she looks like she wouldn’t hurt a fly. We had the most amazing sex ever and I guess the edibles we had threw me off-guard. I woke up to find her gone and my house cleaned out. I didn’t even get her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 269

Lower your expectations

By Aghha - 17/04/2026 14:00 - United States

Today, my Hinge date threw a fit because I refused to put out after he took me to an expensive restaurant. I told him, “If you spent over $200 with the expectation of pussy, you should have hired a prostitute instead.” He replied, “If all you wanted was to eat food and not fuck, you should have DoorDashed instead.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 243

Get out

By Anonymous - 19/04/2026 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband threw my brother out for wearing his dressing gown and eating his snacks, saying it was the final straw for his lazy, thieving, unemployed ass. I support my husband obviously, but now my parents are mad at me because my brother moved back in with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 109

Sparkles 4 U

By Anonymous - 29/03/2026 00:00

Today, in addition to no smoking and no pets, I now have to add NO FUCKING GLITTER to my Airbnb listing. The last fuckers left my place sparkling like a gang of fairies had an orgy in every goddamn room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 164

Mind your own business

By Anonymous - 30/03/2026 20:00

Today, I found out that my parents are in trouble because they left me home alone for almost two weeks (I'm 16) and my Karen neighbor found out and called social services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 68

Industrious

By Anonymous - 01/04/2026 15:00

Today, my ex, who only came back into our kids' lives a year ago, is bitching and moaning he can’t teach our son anything because he's already taught it to himself with DIY instructional YouTube videos. Did he really think our son was going to wait four years to learn to use a drill or buzz saw? FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 84

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The Top

Today, my house is so cold that I chipped a tooth from chattering so hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 456

You deserved it 2 972

Today, I realised that I live to work. I’m not even good at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 201

Today, I found out that my boss was actually legally obligated to send me to the hospital after I was hit on the head while working. I had to finish the entire work day while heavily concussed, and by the time I got to the ER I had lost complete feeling in my right side. They asked me to come in the day after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 311

You deserved it 106

Today, whilst on a road trip with friends, we stopped at a roadside diner for lunch. I ordered a chicken sandwich and when it arrived, I took a huge bite out of it, only to realize that it was still completely raw in the middle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 102

Today, we announced our engagement. His mother immediately accused me of being a manipulative, gold digging whore. She's been fine with me for the last 5 years of dating, plus I used all my savings to support my boyfriend when he wanted to go back to college, but as soon as the ring appeared, I'm a gold digger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 80

Today, my boyfriend and I were together for 10 months when he told me I’m the only person he’s ever been with who’s made him feel safe and able to be vulnerable and open up for the first time… and made him realise he has trauma to work through. He then dumped me on the spot so he could work through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 70