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Flying bastards

By ihateseagulls - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 939

You deserved it 4 191

Hard pass

By Jessica - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a job babysitting two really sweet kids. When their parents left, they told me that their cat had died. I told them how sorry I was, to which one of them replied, "That's okay. We still have him in a box. Wanna see?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 434

You deserved it 2 203

Don't freak out

By spoton - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I sliced my finger on the register drawer. Not wanting to freak out my customer, I stuck my hand in my pocket and finished giving them change. Now I look like I period-bled through the front of my pants. Only 10 hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 037

You deserved it 957

Acting out

By itsgotime - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 692

You deserved it 7 982

I just work here

By NathanA - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer because her entrée was too fishy. I'm not the chef, just the waiter, and I work at a fish grill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 644

You deserved it 2 886

Counterproductive

By Olive - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, and for the last two weeks, I have been preparing my girlfriend for a break up with nasty remarks. She has been finding me exceptionally funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 377

You deserved it 41 298

Too relaxed

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Scarsdale

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 104

You deserved it 3 696

Dark times

By anaph0re - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - France

Today, it was good fun getting a nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would've been better if I hadn't forgotten my Demak'up. Even better if I could've avoided the crazy glances in the bus home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 805

You deserved it 21 727

Mean girls

By Mark - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Alexandria

Today, I finally got the guts to text this cute girl at school. I started sending flirtatious texts, only to find out the hard way that she'd given me her boyfriend's number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 541

You deserved it 7 825

Party time!

By trbaby - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - El Cajon

Today, I was at a house-warming party and my friend was in her kitchen making drinks. When I was almost done with my drink, I went to take the last gulp and saw three mouse turds stuck to the inside bottom of the glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 053

You deserved it 585

Nature is healing

By kat, ACT - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 713

You deserved it 11 836

Fertile

By Anonymous - 09/09/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I started my senior year of high school and I just learned I'm pregnant. I'm not sure how to tell my parents, considering I had a baby freshman, sophomore, and junior year as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 1 192

Smokey

By aroman2312 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 566

You deserved it 2 155

What happened?

By Anonymous - 30/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, and every day, I miss my best friend. We haven’t talked in 6 months and probably never will again, and I don’t know how to face down the rest of my life knowing the one person I’m most excited to share it with doesn’t want to be involved. Life goes on, but it no longer sparkles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 124

Found it!

By Anonymous - 17/09/2026 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after a week wondering why my bedroom smelled faintly like oranges, I cleaned the sheets, washed the curtains, checked the trash, and even moved the furniture, I found the source: one orange I'd put in the pocket of a winter coat months ago. It was so gross, I had to toss the coat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 290

Humblebrag from Hell

By Anonymous - 03/09/2026 03:00 - Canada - Surrey

Today, a mutual friend of mine told me that I could do much better than my girlfriend. I ended up asking her who would want to date me. The next thing I know, she was all over me. Needless to say it didn’t take much for her to tempt me and we ended up screwing like rabbits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 335

Blank canvas

By andromeda80 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Lakewood

Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my house. We painted over it and installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 796

You deserved it 2 870

I'm not getting it, am I?

By FailAtLife - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 290

You deserved it 34 015

Red flag

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a guy asked for my number. He used the rather annoying, "You know, this iPhone has everything... but you know the only thing that's missing is your number." I might have given it to him, if he did have the iPhone, not the makeshift box of Mini Wheat Thins he had in his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 942

You deserved it 6 009

Tactician

By Puffy Baked - 23/08/2026 22:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, I had to listen and take in another one of my mom's litanies. She can't understand why my brother violently reacts to her every time she tells him to "let go and move on" and get over his wife's death. She also can't understand why that's not a good way to start a conversation with him to ask him if she could borrow some money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 62

Freaky family

By Anonymous - 14/09/2026 09:00 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, I found out I am pregnant. I hooked up with my step-dad not that long ago while my mom was out of town. I'm 30 and he wants to tell my mom my baby is his, and I like the idea of telling her, but also know she won’t take it well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 1 041

Run, run away

By but i make different stiffies - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Parker

Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 184

You deserved it 2 823

Antiques roadshow

By TukTuk - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Germany - Weinböhla

Today, I spent an hour painstakingly disassembling my antique mirror after discovering a stack of papers behind the back board. I finally got hold of one corner, and pulled out… a newspaper from 2007 and instructions for an IKEA bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 425

You deserved it 5 153

Unmatch

By themarrowguy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 452

You deserved it 4 421

Bye!

By mysterygurll1234567 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was fired from my job. The reason? My boss didn't feel comfortable paying his son's girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 067

You deserved it 3 780

Oh no!

By Lily - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - San Antonio

Today, I fell going down the stairs and hit my head on the wall. My parents came frantically running to my side, but only to make sure I hadn't damaged the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 187

You deserved it 2 314

Sixth time's the charm

By Anonymous - 11/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I mustered up the courage to tell my son that I would not be attending his sixth wedding. He responded by cutting access to my grandson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 104

Running late, or early?

By bkeiya - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Japan

Today, I saw my train pulling into the station. I sprinted up the stairs and luckily made the train. I looked around and no one was in my compartment. I began to notice that the train was heading down some tracks I'd never been to. I got stuck on an empty train for 3 hours in the train garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 818

You deserved it 15 161

Great timing

By panickygrl - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a panic attack. Not on a crowded train, or an airplane, or in school, or any of the expected places. It was in my yoga class, which my therapist recommended for me, while I was in a dead-body position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 917

You deserved it 4 054

Great timing

By Marlon - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend at her mom's birthday party, in front of her whole family. They even got it on video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 044

You deserved it 3 991

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The Top

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 005

You deserved it 313 068

Today, my husband is a pain. He thinks he might be bisexual, because we discovered he likes to have sex with a plug up his ass, and yet when I suggest a threesome or even if he experiments with a guy on his own, he gets this look like I want him to kiss a dead badger. I don’t know what he wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 512

Random

Today, I chipped a tooth trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 774

You deserved it 30 122

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 631

You deserved it 7 680

Today, I checked my bank account that I've been saving money in since I was a kid for college. I have $100 left out of the $10,000 I had last month. Apparently my parents thought buying a pool and an HDTV for themselves was more important than my college education. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 800

You deserved it 6 467

Today, I was volunteering at an Indian hospital through a Canadian volunteer agency after paying $3000. It was my first day, but I got deported for having an incorrect visa. I had a tourist visa when I was supposed to have a "miscellaneous" visa. I got deported for volunteering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 986

You deserved it 560

Today, my girlfriend offered to roleplay as a sexy nun, then dumped me, claiming my saying yes meant I was attacking her catholic faith and that I’m a sick, depraved criminal. She was the one who offered. I’m not remotely interested in roleplay, I only agreed cause I thought it was her kink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 142

Today, I just moved into my second apartment after the first one was infested with fruit flies, which were coming out of cracks in the floor. We discovered they had tried to cover this fact up so we'd move in. Guess what this new one has? Bed bugs. I asked if there was a history of bug problems and they said no. Lies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 249

You deserved it 119