The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week

The top of the month

The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Romance is dead

By Sad - 01/03/2026 09:00

Today, I sent the kids to my parents' house, tidied the house, and made reservations for a fancy restaurant, hoping to surprise my wife. When she got home and I handed her flowers, she sighed and said, "Can you stop with the stupid romance shit? It's embarrassing. We're six years married, not two moonstruck kids." FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 57

I'm fine, I'm OK

By Anonymous - 04/03/2026 22:00

Today, I was rushing with the dishes when I scraped against a very sharp knife, which left a noticeable cut right down my wrist. No one believes my story that it was a freak kitchen accident, they think that I’m either an attention seeking fucknut, or crying out for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 53

Bad trip

By Anonymous - 11/02/2026 15:00

Today, after I flew 16 hours across the world to see my girlfriend, on the fifth day of the holiday we broke up because she ended up telling me she "can't do distance." After all those hours of flying, we spent the last 3 days in the hotel room mostly crying, and I asked her face to face, "Why did you break me?" She left; I'm broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 97

Hate the game, not the player

By Anonymous - 13/02/2026 09:00

Today, I really liked this girl, and it seemed like she maybe liked me too. We texted a lot, she invited me to a party, and we played games together. I asked her out, worried about waiting too long, but got a really ambiguous answer. Now she’s playing the same games she used to ask me to play, just with a different guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 83

Corporate policy gone wild

By Fatasfk - 20/02/2026 12:00

Today, I found out I was overlooked for a promotion because apparently I don’t have the same body type as the other girls on that unit. This explains why I’m always cropped or completely left out when they post group photos on the company website. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 93

So close…

By Anonymous - 22/02/2026 09:00

Today, my wife and I had to cancel our family vacation to the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas that we had planned for almost two years and spent thousands on, because our son tripped over his suitcase and dislocated his ankle as we were leaving to go to the airport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 68

Did it taste good at least?

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 03:00

Today, I popped something straight out of the oven into my mouth. It burned my tongue instantly, but instead of spitting it out, I swallowed. I felt it burning all the way down. Now I can’t eat solid food or drink hot drinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 621

Real estate from hell

By pukey mcgee - 25/02/2026 22:00

Today, I learned why I got such a great deal on my apartment. It's located next to the trash chute. It smells utterly foul three days of the week, and it's the dead of winter now. I dread the summer heat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 66

Priorities

By L - 01/03/2026 12:00

Today, my girlfriend ended things. We'd had issues because of my communication skills and her confidence, but we were working on it. The last straw? That I couldn't stay with her one night because I suddenly had to go home and take care of my sick mother. She then asked to talk and said I was neglecting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 72

Family

By You're next, ex-mom! - 08/02/2026 03:00

Today, I came home to see my house trespassed, vandalized, and looted by my cousin, whom I have always hated, and his friends. As I get the cops to haul them to jail, he got kicked out from home for the Nth time and said my mom invited them. When I confronted my mom about it, she dismissed it saying, "He's family!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 79

Ironic

By Pookie - 09/02/2026 22:00

Today, I saw someone at the buffet get two plates in a row. I told my date that, “People nowadays have no self control.” Unbeknownst to me, he was within earshot and told me, “FYI, I was getting a plate for my disabled mother.” After dinner, my date unmatched me and blocked my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 1 076

Pranks are shit

By milk plz - 13/02/2026 12:00

Today, my wife got me back for hiding a realistic tarantula replica in her underwear drawer. She ground up hot peppers and horseradish and shoved it in my mouth while I slept. I woke up screaming in pain and went to the hospital before she confessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 391

Gotta keep those data centers irrigated

By Fuck AI - 18/02/2026 20:00

Today, my house was broken into and my computer was stolen. Fortunately, I have cloud backups of all my work; unfortunately, hardware prices have gone through the roof and I won't be able to replace that computer soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 62

Competitive

By Anonymous - 20/02/2026 15:00

Today, and for most of our married life, my wife has made more money than me, until a few weeks ago when I got a promotion. I now make slightly more than she does and she’s actually grumpy over it. Why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 69

Just the tit

By Anonymous - 22/02/2026 12:00

Today, I had to explain to my husband that while trying to figure out how to make coffee on our stupid new machine, I was in fact nude, so when I finally got it to work and steam came hissing out of the nozzle, I got first degree burn on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 343

Messy

By TheNewDad - 26/02/2026 00:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were changing our newborn son when he peed on her, making me lose it laughing. Less than five seconds later, as I picked him up to clean him off, he did a huge poop, all over my hands, arms, feet, and clothes. Instant Karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 517

I don't want to 'catch up'

By Anonymous - 27/02/2026 20:00

Today, my stalker from 16 years ago has apparently come back. Hello, police protection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 38

Can't buy me love

By Lotto - 01/03/2026 15:00

Today, I won the lottery two years ago, got a massive payout, and of course I told my boss to suck a hobo's asshole and rubbed it in my ex-wife's face that I was set for life. Now I'm broker than ever, getting sued for unpaid debt, and I just learned I'm blacklisted in my former career field. Why me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 1 211

Terminally online

By Older men, ew - 03/03/2026 09:00

Today, a much older guy hit on me with the line, "Hey, Gen Z boss in a mini!" Ew, get away grampa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 279

Kidmaxxing

By Good mom - 05/03/2026 03:00

Today, my husband and I had a huge fight. I have a son from a previous relationship who he loves, but he wants more kids. My son is 9, almost 10, he's so used to being my baby that I can't bring myself to take that from him by having another baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 777

Communication breakdown

By Anonymous - 10/02/2026 00:00

Today, I had to take my life into my hands and tell my wife that when she was yelling at me earlier, she was yelling at me in her own language, which I’m still not fluent in, so whatever it was that upset her, I still haven’t fixed it because I didn’t understand the instructions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 109

True love waits

By Sad egg - 11/02/2026 20:00

Today, I learned that Discord will require age verification to access adult servers starting in a month. I'm 12 and about to lose access to 90% of my social life for six years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 689

Good neighbors

By S. from 45B - 13/02/2026 15:00

Today, I moved into a new place. I wanted to be a good neighbor so I baked banana bread and knocked on the door across the hall. The woman looked terrified, said “No thank you,” and closed the door. Building security later asked why I was “soliciting food.” Turns out there’s been a string of fake delivery scams in the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 66

Ride the bike, dude

By trevorj - 17/02/2026 03:00

Today, a customer bought a bike. He paid for it and asked us to escort both him and the bike to a bus stop, about a 20-minute walk away. He had no car and said he couldn't bring the bike to the stop because it was "too heavy." When we said we're not allowed to abandon post, he cussed us out and called our manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 54

Bitch

By Anonymous - 18/02/2026 22:00

Today, I didn’t get to have Valentine's sex because the dog we just rescued is so attached to my husband that she tries to bite me every time I go near him. I seriously don’t think I’ve touched my husband once in over a week, and I’ve been bitten twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 61

Sad boat

By Anonymous - 22/02/2026 15:00

Today, my best friend died in a car accident. I'm currently on a cruise with my family and my parents refuse to pay for me to go home early, which means I'm likely going to miss the funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 81

Cynically poisoned

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 09:00

Today, I rejected my crush's prom proposal because I didn't think he was being serious and wanted to prank me or something. Turns out he was serious but now he's going with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 715

Bad week

By Anonymous - 26/02/2026 03:00

Today, just a little bit after midnight, my mom sends a Facebook post saying my stepdad is in the ER and is unable to walk. I'm a night owl, which was why I was up. This is after the rest of my family went to bed due to being sick with the new flu variant days ago. It seems like this week is just bad luck for my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 55

Cruise away

By Anonymous - 03/03/2026 12:00

Today, my mom booked my family a $250 spot for a dinner cruise. I'm a type 1 diabetic in diabetic ketoacidosis. I told her that I needed to go to the hospital as this could kill me. Her response? "WHAT ABOUT THE $250 I PAID FOR THE CRUISE?!" I guess she cares more about the money than the fact I might die. Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 72

What did you do?

By Anonymous - 07/03/2026 00:00

Today, I found out that my (amazing) adoptive parents are going to be investigated by CPS and no one's telling me why. I'm terrified I'm going to be taken away and end up back in foster care again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 51

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was feeling sick so I decided to lay down. As soon as I did, I felt the sudden urge to throw up, so I ran to the bathroom. When I bent over the toilet to throw up, my glasses fell in along with my vomit. Before I had a chance to retrieve them, I threw up again. And again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 919

You deserved it 191

Today, my Darwin Award-nominated cousin got himself admitted to the hospital because he substituted the hammer and screwdriver for a meat tenderizer and a knife when he couldn't find the toolbox. The one I clearly labeled "TOOLS" in giant letters to avoid this situation from happening again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 183

You deserved it 338

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 341

You deserved it 3 027

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight after I asked him repeatedly to tell his daughter to stop wearing my clothes. She stretches them out and has busted seams. The last straw was when she broke the heels on my very expensive shoes. I'm not being mean, she’s a size 14 and I’m a 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 153

Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 320

You deserved it 37 028

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 896

You deserved it 7 876