The Top

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You'll understand when you're older

By I had no idea I swear!!! - 27/03/2026 20:00

Today, I was told that the cute rhyming nickname I gave to my daughter’s best friend is actually the name of an adult performer. I feel gross, even though I truly had no idea. Now the girl asks me why I don’t call her that anymore and I don’t know what to tell her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 86

Never enough

By Anonymous - 02/04/2026 03:00

Today, for our anniversary, I asked what my wife wanted and she said not to bother spending money, so I didn’t, and she called me a tight git. Then for her birthday I bought her a gift anyway and she had a go at me for ignoring her wishes and wasting money. I literally cannot win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 80

Baby daddy drama

By please love me - 03/04/2026 22:00

Today, I was on a first date with a really nice guy and, of course, when there was an awkward silence, I started talking and realized too late that I was running through my usual complaints about my worthless baby daddies. He asked how many and I said three, and he left without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 1 075

Commited

By oops - 07/04/2026 15:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I’m a junior developer and I'd pushed what I thought was a minor fix right before logging off on Friday. Monday morning, I walked into a message: “Site down since Saturday.” My “tiny change” broke a key function. The whole team was already in a call when I joined, and I had to say, "Yeah, um… that was my commit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 457

Better safe than soggy

By Anonymous - 11/04/2026 03:00 - United States - Canton

Today, after thinking I was done with my diarrhea because my last fart was a dry one, I let loose with what was gonna be a good fart. It wasn’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 354

First date, first impressions

By ragingwaffles - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Chico

Today, my blind date thought the best way to start off is to show up blind drunk. She ended up puking on the table and leaving me to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 563

You deserved it 3 955

Nature ain't all that great

By Beaten by deer - 18/04/2026 06:00 - United States

Today, an adorable deer got into the yard, so I went to pet it. It jumped on its back legs and started flailing its front legs around, kicking the crap out of me until I curled into a ball crying. I'm so bruised, I can barely sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 001

Stop pointing out my shortcomings

By lordoftheweird - 22/03/2026 15:00

Today, I was accused of racism for mentioning that a Native American woman in my neighborhood is illiterate. She's a special needs adult waiting for an opening in a group home, I only mentioned she was illiterate because people couldn't figure it out and were upset that she couldn't read the notes they were leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 54

Stylist

By Joh - 26/03/2026 03:00

Today, I got home, stripped down to my underwear, and laid on the couch. The cat came up, then started meowing loudly at me and bit my sides and legs until I put on sweats and a t-shirt. I now have a cat-enforced dress code. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 162

Thirty demons

By Tech BS - 15/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I’m a high school teacher and I finally learned how to use the smartboard properly. I connected my laptop to demonstrate a lesson… and projected the last thing I had open: a half-written email complaining about how loud this exact class is. Thirty teenagers read it in silence. One kid raised his hand and said, “Fair.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 404

Unreliable narrator

By CannaFox - 28/03/2026 00:00

Today, I always wondered how my younger sister maintained a good relationship with her dad, as she knows I was horribly abused by him for several years. Now, I found out that she “doesn’t agree” with it, and thinks it was all my imagination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 53

First day

By Henry - 29/03/2026 20:00

Today, I started a new job and wanted to seem organized, so I brought a homemade lunch in a container. I went to heat it up, but forgot to remove the lid completely. The container exploded in the microwave, covering the inside with sauce. I spent my lunch break cleaning it while my coworkers smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 345

Shadowboxing

By Fuck space exploration give me human rights - 02/04/2026 09:00

Today, my whole family was so excited about watching the Artemis II launch and scolded me for not mustering more enthusiasm. Great, we can go to space now… so anytime someone talks about real issues like climate change or racism, we'll hear, "Well just go to space then" or "Space will solve our problems." FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 481

On the ropes

By Nicky - 24/03/2026 15:00

Today, I'm in bed pretending to sleep because I don't want to see my husband. He's manipulative and a jerk to me some times. I just don't want to deal with him anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 171

What in the world…?

By May - 16/04/2026 18:00 - United States

Today, I noticed I was overcharged at a fast food place, so I asked the cashier to correct it. He got an attitude, so I asked for the manager. The next thing I know, some dude shoved me, yelling, "Shut the fuck up Karen." I fell and hit my head. People in line laughed and cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 111

Worst friend

By Cass - 20/04/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my best friend announced that he has a girlfriend now and we’ll be interacting less often. When I protested, he said, “Why are you acting like this? You rejected me when I asked you to be my girlfriend and told me we were just friends, did you not?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 720

Attachment issues

By Anonymous - 26/03/2026 12:00

Today, I'm stuck in a nightmare where one of my young twins is fixated on spending as much time with her sibling as possible, while the other one is a complete introvert who wants her sister to leave her alone as much as possible. Either way, someone is upset and crying, mostly me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 92

I know what I'm doing

By Notsostrong - 30/03/2026 00:00

Today, I’m a gym newbie and worked up the courage to go to the weights section. I loaded what I thought was a reasonable amount onto a bar and tried to lift it… except it didn’t move. At all. I pretended I was “just stretching,” then removed half the weights while hoping no one noticed. Someone definitely noticed and gave me an encouraging thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 149

Keep your eyes on the road

By Just drive - 09/04/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, as an Uber driver, I try to make small talk with passengers by guessing where they were from based on their accent. I got it completely wrong. This one said, “I grew up two streets from here.” The rest of the ride was silent except for my GPS telling me where to go, which felt appropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 476

Thanks Grandma

By Anonymous - 11/04/2026 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I had to cancel our family Disney World trip because my mom stole and gambled away all of our spending money. Our kids are still crying and throwing tantrums and don't understand why we can't afford to go anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 81

Smoke em if you've got em

By Anonymous - 17/04/2026 02:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I miss drugs and now I'm depressed, and now the world is fucked so there is no other option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 312

I hate surprises

By Anonymous - 18/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my husband and kids apparently forgot my birthday. I was so happy at first because I have always hated my birthday, and thought it could just be another day on the calendar. No. They planned and threw a massive surprise party for me when I got home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 338

Shattered

By Help me - 23/03/2026 00:00

Today, after dumping my fiancé and altering my life following my therapist's advice so I could be free and self-sufficient, I finally feel like I'm in control of my life! However, I just had a dream where I was married to my ex and had two beautiful babies, and I cried so hard I had to call out sick. What have I done? FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 499

Disappointed

By Anonymous - 26/03/2026 15:00

Today, as yet more proof my useless son is probably going to be living with me well into his adulthood, he has now failed his driving theory test 14 times, despite me studying with him every afternoon. He also has no job, no goals, no girlfriend, and a neck tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 181

Tactfully, no

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mother-in-law asked if she could move in with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 072

You deserved it 3 028

Trial by social media

By Anonymous - 04/04/2026 15:00

Today, I told my late husband's daughter that I have no interest in reconciliation because she was horrible to me the entire time we were married, and never once warmed up to me, no matter what I tried. Now she's telling everybody on social media that I really am an evil wicked witch stepmom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 112

Guarded

By Anonymous - 11/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to spend Easter with my grandparents, but my mom's new husband is a paranoid, overprotective asshole who wouldn't let me because he "doesn't know them." What's even worse is that my mom decided to agree with him just to keep the fucking peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 59

Faux pas

By Awkward - 20/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, visiting my partner’s family for the first time, I offered to help cook, saying I could chop the vegetables. Five minutes later, I nicked my finger, dropped the knife, and instinctively said a very loud curse word in front of their very traditional grandparents. Everyone froze while someone went to get me a bandage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 133

Better life

By Coffeelock Jade - 24/03/2026 22:00

Today, I discovered that my friend's mom found my little sister, who is severely narcoleptic, muddy and sleeping in the park yesterday. She thought she was abandoned and took her to their home. They are extremely rich, and was treated royally that night. Now my sister refuses to "wake up to reality" and come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 83

How do you eat a hamburger?

By Always my fault - 28/03/2026 12:00

Today, my son won't go to his team dinner because the other kids made fun of him for "eating like a monkey." My wife says this is my fault. Funny, when I tried to teach him not to eat with his fingers, she got mad and ranted that "people ALL OVER THE WORLD eat with their fingers, it's normal, stop criticizing him!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 95

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The Top

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 130

You deserved it 20 600

Today, I was running a minute late for a big meeting that I'd organised. I got so hot from running up a flight of stairs that I couldn’t pass the Covid temperature screening requirement, and had to sit down for 10 minutes to cool off. By the time I was cool enough, everyone had already left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 797

You deserved it 559

Today, I had to buy more supplies for the cat my friend asked me to pet sit for 2 weeks. Her 2-week vacation ended over 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 059

You deserved it 484

Today, I spent $400 on concert tickets just to hear, “I’d fuck the lead singer” for three hours leading up to the concert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 264

Today, my satan-spawn of a step-son proudly showed that he can pee accurately while standing up. I'd be less livid if he hadn't pissed on me while I was asleep in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 777

You deserved it 2 575

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 579

You deserved it 9 754