The Top

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Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 10:00

Today, I had to borrow my mom’s car to jump-start my battery-dead car. I got everything set up and it worked. Parked my mom’s car back into her spot, went into my car. And turned it off. Now I have to do it all again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 962

Alexa, play "Communication Breakdown" by Led Zeppelin

By Anonymous - 28/08/2023 04:00

Today, I've always needed to share stories about things that made me upset to my boyfriend, and I thought he was my safe place to do so. I've always talked to him, and so has he. If he got upset, he'd tell me what's bothering him. Now he says he doesn't like it because I always talk to him about it. Now I have no one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 215

Get lucky, sound of the summer

By Anonymous - 08/02/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my date went off on a 30 minute tangent about how MGTOW is going to be good for society and blah blah blah. He was going to get lucky tonight, as I really wanted some dick to be honest, but he talked himself out of any chance whatsoever by boring me to death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 218

Vintage cars

By Jeff Again - 03/09/2023 00:02 - United States

Today, I thought I'd be a suave gentleman by opening the car door for my date. The handle came off in my hand, and I had to spend the next 15 minutes pretending I was doing an impromptu repair on my piece of shit car, when I had no idea what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 223

By blackchin III - 20/06/2014 21:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 705

You deserved it 4 683

Haggling wars

By Jules - 05/09/2023 04:00 - Germany

Today, at the grocery store, the scanner at the register gave a higher price for a product than the price tag on the shelf. Apparently I was the one being unreasonable for insisting to pay the price advertised on the shelf, and not some secret price they never told me about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 121

Worst workplace ever

By maya - 29/03/2021 20:01

Today, while I was wearing a blue coat, a coworker asked me what color my coat was. Confused, I said, “...blue?” He and my other coworkers burst out screaming with laughter. Turns out he didn’t say ‘coat’ but ‘poop’. I work with a bunch of five year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 107

Blackstone salivating

By Anonymous - 07/09/2023 20:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I learned that the IBS that several doctors have been misdiagnosing me with for 10 years is actually IBD, which is not only infinitely worse, but it's gotten to the point where surgery might be in my immediate future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 71

Ripper

By Pantess at work - 30/03/2021 23:00 - United States

Today, at work, the seat of my pants ripped open. A coworker lent me a pair of his back-up jeans, and then those ripped in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 153

Perfect performance

By I hate myself - 02/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I walked into a café for the first time, and as I opened the door, I slammed it into the face of a poor barista. Embarrassed, I tried to apologize while holding the door open for a woman behind me, only to have my hand slip and the door crash into her as well. I then stood there, frozen, as both of them just stared at me as I apologized with, "I swear I'm not a moron." FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 115

Needs a follow up

By Anonymous - 18/09/2023 00:02

Today, I was told the reason for me getting evicted without notice is because I unnecessarily threw a fit that the dog my roommate got wasn't the one I wanted. I pointed out my anaphylaxis to my landlord and she asked, "That’s hypochondria, right?" I’m still getting evicted without notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 163

Five second rule

By Sore - 05/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to get a Chloraseptic tablet for my sore throat. As soon as I put it in my mouth, I got the urge to sneeze. When I sneezed, the force of the sneeze caused me to accidentally spit it out… right into the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 104

Compassion

By BadFriend - 05/04/2021 02:00 - United States

Today, my best friend is giving me the silent treatment and has blocked me on Facebook. All because I missed her 30th birthday dinner at The Cheesecake Factory. I’d gotten into a car accident earlier and had to be treated for minor injuries in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 102

He's too old for this noise

By Anonymous - 22/09/2023 22:00

Today, my son was crying and my dad's way of helping was to go to the pub for an hour, then come back after my son had cried himself to sleep. I’d have kicked him out but he does a lot of other things around here, and I couldn’t cope without him. It doesn’t stop him being an insensitive prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 927

Irritation

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I have family over and even though they can see I'm stepping away to go take a shower, instead of interacting with my child who they supposedly love, they ignore her to the point where she comes crying to the bathroom door. So now I gotta move quicker? FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 197

What logic is that?

By Anonymous - 01/07/2022 16:00

Today, my parents lectured me on whether it was a good idea to let my girlfriend stay at the home of her ex boyfriend… and his husband. I’m 44 and trust her. My parents didn’t trust this logic and doubled down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 324

Fun for all the family

By Anonymous - 14/04/2021 02:00

Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 291

Help!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I went about pet-proofing my house because my new kitten is exploring every nook and cranny. I locked up everything dangerous. Then, while trying to put a safety lock on the pantry/cold room, I managed to lock myself inside. I had to yell for my roommate to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 387

Cursed

By Freddie - 25/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Chattanooga

Today, I went on my first date in months. It was going well until the waiter brought our drinks. I went to take a sip of my cocktail, but I misjudged the size of the glass and the stupid paper straw, and spilled it all over myself. The waiter said, “Well, at least it’s not a first date curse,” and I replied, “Oh, it definitely is.” It was, because I doubt I'll be seeing her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 143

Homesick

By Anonymous - 27/03/2025 12:00 - India

Today, it's my birthday, the first one in my college life. No one knew, and no one wished me. It’s fine, I guess. But as I sat alone in my room, I could hear laughter and cheers from hall they were celebrating someone else’s birthday. I tried not to care, but deep down, I felt little envious, and a little lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 379

Trading places

By Anonymous - 29/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I had to comfort my husband after he had a dream in which both his parents died. He was really upset. Both my parents are dead… in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 123

Where is my mind?

By Anonymous - 01/04/2025 09:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, after softball practice, I could not find my car keys. Emptied my bag completely, no keys. Called a locksmith but he never showed up. Walked across the street to ask the fire department if they could help. After they got into my car, I found them. In my bag. Caught in my scorebook. The fireman just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 362

Used car, one careful owner

By Anonymous - 25/04/2021 05:01 - United States - High Springs

Today, after searching online and in the newspaper for an affordable used vehicle, I finally came across one that wasn't a scam or the seller lying about the actual condition of the vehicle. It was legit and and sold about 10 minutes after the seller gave me his info for me to go look at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 101

Never enough, never

By Anonymous - 02/04/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after I took my mom her favourite wine, a card, and an expensive orchid for her conservatory, and also spent all Saturday afternoon with her and took her out for lunch, what did she post on Facebook? Her disappointment that I didn’t spend Mother’s Day with her on Sunday because I was working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 74

Holidays in the sun

By ToxicFamily - 05/04/2025 22:00 - Germany

Today, all I wanted was to go on a vacation in April. I've been asking my husband since last April and he begrudgingly booked everything last minute a month before. Now he's cancelled everything he booked due to his dad being sick. I was OK with it, but now I've got no vacations for this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 377

Preapproved

By Anonymous - 08/04/2025 03:00 - United States - Fresno

Today, after saving for years, I was finally ready to buy a home. I found a decent place. I put in an offer. A hedge fund bought it 7 minutes later, for cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 79

By Cat vs. Dog - 28/04/2014 21:03 - United States - Laramie

Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 211

You deserved it 5 075

Tumblr

By BruisedPride - 10/09/2019 12:00

Today, I fell down concrete stairs trying to plug my computer into an outlet. I now have a twisted ankle, scrape on my elbow and a huge scratch across my laptop. The best part? The outlet wasn't even working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 368

You deserved it 365

Injuries? In this economy?

By Olivia - 15/04/2025 03:00 - United States - Newark

Today, after I finally got health insurance through my job, I had a minor injury leading to me discovering that my deductible is so high, I’d have to be struck by a meteor to get anything covered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 81

Burning up

By Eliana - 06/05/2021 14:01

Today, my left eye is bright red and painful. Also, I have pimples all over my genitals. Spoiler alert: it's herpes. The eye? A bacterial eye infection. Welcome to a week of pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 351

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The Top

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 687

You deserved it 12 679

Today, after getting back from a year-long world trip, I nearly fell on my knees and cried when I saw boxes of Twinkies at my local gas station. Finding out they were back was the highlight of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 162

You deserved it 7 427

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 587

You deserved it 9 015

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 355

You deserved it 5 919

Today, I told my brother a story about something I did a couple weeks ago. When I'd finished, he laughed and asked, "What grade were you in when you did that?" I'm 45 years-old and I haven't been in any "grade" since I was 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 281

Today, I asked my girlfriend to stop her preschooler from playing in the kitchen when I'm cooking dinner. She bitched about how I'm "controlling and micromanaging". As she did so, he put his hands on the hot oven and screamed in pain. She then shrieked that it was my fault he hurt himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 146

You deserved it 630