The Top

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The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Still holding a candle

By Anonymous - 21/08/2021 22:00

Today, it's been two years since a club trip where I met someone who, for the first and last time in my life of crippling self hatred and depression, I actually believed might like me back. It's also been two years since I heard anything from him, despite him promising to keep in touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 218

Sweeped out

By Anonymous - 20/03/2024 22:00 - South Africa - Germiston

Today, my wife and I spent hours cleaning our home, including her mother’s room, which has a floor covered in talcum powder (that she believes keeps ants away). After laboriously sweeping, and then washing the floor, it eventually dried. Two minutes later she poured talc all over the floor again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 183

See you around, then

By Joanna B - 25/09/2025 12:00

Today, at the end of my great grandmother's funeral, her daughter (my grandma) told me and my mother that she doesn’t have a reason to come back and visit anymore, and that everyone in her life is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 67

Sacked

By Anonymous - 22/03/2024 22:00 - United States - Decatur

Today, my younger sister saw one of my friends "sack tap" me, and randomly did it to me herself as I walked past her. She doesn't get why it's "funny" when my friend does it but not as funny when she does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 547

Congrats!

By KellyPolizi - 28/09/2025 00:00

Today, I joined the wrong Zoom link for a meeting. Instead of a marketing presentation, I landed in a virtual baby shower. People in the chat clapped when I showed up, so I just waved, panicked, and said, “It’s a girl!” before leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 357

Big manbaby

By HSPARKS - 12/05/2020 05:00

Today, I woke up to my apartment in a state of total disarray. I've been asking my boyfriend to get either get a job, or clean the house. I just had a bunch of dental work taken care of. He doesn't have a job, and doesn't want to find one. I'm tired of trying to raise an already grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 700

You deserved it 983

Wrong move

By Anonymous - 30/09/2025 12:00

Today, I told a coworker, “You look way better without makeup.” She responded, “I’m wearing makeup.” Everyone around us gasped like I had just said "fuck" in church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 665

STOP!

By What's that beeping noise?? - 02/10/2025 12:00

Today, at a self-checkout, I scanned all my items, bagged them, and left. Only when I got outside did I realize I had completely forgotten to pay. I then noticed that security was running to stop me, and I had to explain that I wasn’t a thief, just an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 124

By JD - 02/02/2009 17:23 - United States

Today, I went out on a date with a girl for the first time. I opened her car door for her and then slammed her leg in it upon closing. She will be in a cast for 6 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 736

You deserved it 10 465

Big man

By Giant - 29/03/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, while doing chemistry, I was repeatedly reprimanded by the teacher for holding the test tubes higher than my partner's head. I'm 6'2, and the person I was assigned to work with is about 5'1. You can't switch partners unless your partner is absent or gets pulled from the lab for being a dangerous idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 151

Gushing

By NotCream - 04/10/2025 15:00

Today, I've been having persistent fungal infections and was getting treated by a male gynecologist. I had to go in to give vaginal swab tests. I washed and cleaned before I left, but when I got on the doctor's table I already had so much discharge. The doctor asked, "Is it the medicine?" I had to say no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 103

Rubbing it in

By do - 31/03/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my friend told me how he had to block another girl that he knew because she was trying too hard to get in his pants again, and it was starting to annoy him. I wish I could sympathize but I haven’t physically touched a girl in two years, and every girl I’ve tried to talk to has ghosted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 173

That's one expensive hat

By Anonymous - 03/04/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I went off-roading with a group of people. I'd been to wearing a $250 hat while my brother was driving at least 60mph in the dirt, it flew off my head. When I returned to go retrieve it, someone had taken it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 986

Am I a good person?

By Anonymous - 05/04/2024 00:00 - United States - Rock Springs

Today, I have found that I have feelings for my best friend's wife. She is beautiful, caring, and downright a good wife. She does have issues, like mental issues, but she talks to me and she comes to me for comfort. I have thought it would be nice to just hold her hand even. Am I a jerk or not? I want her bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 995

Knackered

By Fucking go away - 11/10/2025 12:00

Today, I told my girlfriend I was exhausted and wanted a nap. She decided to join me, then got bored and started watching Instagram reels blasting the same five seconds of some awful Cardi B "song." She got pissed when I asked her to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 89

Doofus

By Jim - 14/10/2025 03:00

Today, I went to my favorite café to order my usual iced latte. The barista smiled and said, “The usual, right?” I nodded confidently, except she wasn’t talking to me. She handed the drink to the guy behind me and said, “Thanks, babe.” He winked at her. I just paid for my drink in silence, praying for a sinkhole to open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 114

Tech bro

By Pauly - 16/10/2025 09:00

Today, I was showing my new “smart home” setup to my friends. I said, “Alexa, dim the lights.” Nothing happened. So, louder: “ALEXA, DIM THE LIGHTS.” Still nothing. I kept yelling, getting increasingly dramatic, until one of my friends said, “Bro, your Alexa is unplugged.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 526

Good boy

By This may take awhile - 30/11/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, after a serious argument with my friend about how his dog seems to hate me for no reason, I decided that it's my responsibility to show his dog that I mean no harm. I started off by giving him his favorite treat. He got excited and practically inhaled it… then started barking at me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 181

Nice family you've got there

By Anonymous - 18/10/2025 12:00

Today, after years of no contact, my brother texted me for my birthday. I replied, "You and your son are doing great I hope!" I then came to find out that he hasn't seen his son in 500 days and his ex refuses to let him see his son, since she has full custody and he is back on drugs. I didn't know and was genuinely hoping for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 84

Awks

By Anonymous - 21/10/2025 03:00

Today, I told a woman at the gym that I “loved her confidence” because she was wearing the same bright leggings I’d been too nervous to wear. She smiled awkwardly and said, “Thanks, they were my sister’s. She passed away last year.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 116

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - 11/09/2021 20:00

Today, my truck got towed after being parked for ten minutes, even though wasn't in a no parking area. Now I have to pay 500 dollars to get it out of impound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 136

Red tape

By Anonymous - 23/10/2025 15:00

Today, I learned my application for resuming my citizenship in my home country (Australia) after being abroad for almost 12 years is being denied based on bureaucratic bullshit, and I'm going to be sent away to a country (USA), where I have no family or support, to be homeless and without the above. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 124

Because I'm worth it

By creepingjennie - 07/06/2020 02:11

Today, I discovered that head lice shampoo can remove the dye from your hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 459

I was right there

By Anonymous - 03/12/2022 12:00

Today, I called a Lyft to go to work. I got dressed and even watched him finish his previous ride. We all know you have a 5 minutes window. It wasn’t even 5 minutes in when he cancelled my ride. Now I’m late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 342

The art, the artist

By WarriorMa - 16/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my daughter is not only an expert in escaping her diaper but also in leaving her mark on every surface possible. Today's masterpiece: a poop trail on the hotel room rug. It was like a modern art installation, but with a distinctive smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 208

**** my shit up

By Anonymous - 07/12/2022 04:00

Today, I got a haircut and it was messed up for the fifth time in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 189

Fonzie

By Anonymous - 28/10/2025 09:00

Today, I was in a crowded elevator and tried to discreetly take a breath mint. The little tin slipped from my hands, bounced off my shoe, and scattered mints everywhere. Everyone stared as I bent over, frantically picking them up, muttering, “I swear I’m usually cool.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 314

Garden wars

By Anonymous - 21/04/2024 14:00 - Germany

Today, my mom’s house and mine share the same garden. After I complained about an ugly compost bin she had outside my bedroom window, she finally took it away and put it… smack dab in front of my terrace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 166

Rich

By Anonymous - 30/10/2025 12:00

Today, I awoke at 3am to a discoloured, swollen and excruciatingly painful left foot. After a visit to the doctor and a CT scan, I was diagnosed with gout - AKA the “rich man’s disease.” I am by no means rich and can barely pass as a man, but still get the agonising condition nonetheless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 117

Naughty boy

By Anonymous - 07/12/2022 14:00

Today, my dog and I came in from an afternoon in the back yard and he immediately shat on the carpet. Way to go boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 140

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The Top

Today, after driving to three drug testing clinics that were approved for my job, each one declined me, saying they don't do testing anymore. Now I have to drive another 25 miles to see if someone will say, "You're clean." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 898

You deserved it 944

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. Midway through the speech I'd prepared, I fainted and hit my head against a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 550

You deserved it 2 675

Today, I accidentally took an Ex Lax instead of an Immodium. It's gonna be a fun night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 324

Today, my mother insists that because I won’t eat my dad’s mashed potatoes, it means I must think he is a bad cook and that I'm a disrespectful little prick. I wouldn’t touch mashed potatoes even if Gordon Ramsay made them, and I was on the brink of starvation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 320

Today, I got blown off by my “exclusive partner” on the night of my birthday supper, only to find out he went on a Tinder date with my friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 141

Today, my boss's ADHD son was suspended from school. It was a misunderstanding, but the school won't listen, so now my boss has to take him to work. She gets very short-tempered when he's around because, quite frankly, he's extremely annoying and disruptive, even for a kid with ADHD. It's gonna be a long week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 123