The Top

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Little shit

By Tired mommy - 11/12/2025 00:00

Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 566

Heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 13/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was startled awake by some overzealous do-gooder trying to shove Narcan up my nose. I wasn’t OD’ing. I don’t even do drugs. I’m just an exhausted full-time student with a night job trying to get home on the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 81

Tasty!

By Andrew Williams - 12/01/2023 06:00

Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 810

Windy Williams

By June - 31/05/2024 17:00 - United States - Flower Mound

Today, I woke up at 4AM to the sound of lightning hitting a tree in my backyard, then that tree proceeding to hit my house. Later, my neighbor's tree fell over, which hit our fence, and they're not even home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 89

Slander

By Some people just suck! - 15/12/2025 12:00

Today, at work, I overheard two of my coworkers talking about how "creepy" and "ugly" I am, and that I look like I'd be the kind of guy to sneak into someone's house and "have my way" with them. Boy, did that sure help with my self-esteem issues. I'm going to go and report them, but still. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 105

Just perfect

By Anonymous - 17/12/2025 15:00

Today, I finally told my boss that I need a week off to recharge; I presented dates, reasons, and felt brave. He nodded approvingly, then checked my calendar and asked, “Perfect, can you train the new hires that week?” I stared at my triumphant note then mourned my stolen week. Ugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 109

Haunted by you

By Anonymous - 19/12/2025 22:00

Today, I asked my daughter if we could have a memorial table at her wedding for her baby brother who died 21 years ago. To my horror, she lost her shit at me and screamed she wants “one fucking night” to be about her and “not about him.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 1 633

Love Island is back, baby

By Anonymous - 06/06/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I introduced the girl I was talking to my best friend, and we all hung out. Until this day, her and I were doing great. After my friend left, she started gushing about how hot he is. He wasn't hitting on her at all. I reminded her that, and that he has a girlfriend. She was calm, but visibly upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 103

Walmart's got talent

By lost in music - 21/12/2025 20:00

Today, I wore my new noise-canceling ear buds in a grocery store and nodded along, getting into the groove. When I took them off at checkout, the cashier asked who I was talking to. I realized I’d been quietly singing to myself ASMR-style while making intense eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 399

Merry ******* Christmass

By Joanne85 - 24/12/2025 22:00

Today, I volunteered to host Christmas dinner for the first time. I forgot to thaw the turkey. We ate sides, wine, and sat in disappointment while the turkey slowly defrosted in the sink. I'm never doing this again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 468

Damage

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 20:00

Today, my now apparently ex-fiance let me know our engagement was off by throwing my ring in the trash. No words, just throwing it away. I always slept without it, to avoid damaging it. Guess I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 125

Stay out of it

By Muddy - 28/12/2025 00:00

Today, my disgusting coworker made a comment about "women versus accountability" and I couldn't even yell at him for being a sexist scumbucket, because my wife threw coffee at me yesterday for pointing out that she'd left the chips open and they went stale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 347

Ironic

By Anonymous - 05/02/2023 10:00

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet. Now I know why they call it 'smart' phone; it's smarter than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 606

Cute miscommunication

By 9 to 5 - 30/12/2025 22:00

Today, I texted my boss to say I’d be late because my train was delayed. Autocorrect changed “delayed” to “derailed.” My boss called immediately, panicked, asking if I was OK. I had to explain it was just a typo while standing safely on the platform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 100

By buccaneer - 23/10/2012 16:26 - United States - Piscataway

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 911

You deserved it 3 566

Cool banana!

By Anonymous - 27/01/2023 07:30

Today, I tripped on a rock, fell in a pond, and lost my phone. All while dressed as a banana for a charity run. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 228

What is wrong with me?

By I can't anymore - 16/06/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, my finally figuring out what the hell is wrong with my body has coincided with the local clinic closing for the weekend. I can't get referrals until they open again. Only three long, boring, miserable days and three long, agonizing, sleepless nights to go. And probably more even after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 90

To the moon!

By juggalo2 - 03/01/2026 09:00

Today, I told my wife I was getting nervous about the surge in silver prices, and I wanted to sell some of our holdings. She told me not to be a "paper-handsing little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 336

Brat winter

By Single again - 04/01/2026 22:00

Today, my girlfriend's kid was acting silly and cutting up in a busy parking lot. I saw a car coming towards him and yanked him to my side. He started crying and my girlfriend screamed at me for "being mean" to him. I should have let the brat get hit, I guess. If this is the stepdad life, fuck it, I'm out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 108

By Anonymous - 21/10/2012 01:59 - Canada - Waterdown

Today, I forgot to pay for my train ride for the first time. Today was also the first time I've ever seen transit security checking for people's tickets and kicking offenders off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 678

You deserved it 5 620

Lifelike

By Anonymous - 06/01/2026 22:00

Today, I leaned in to pet what I thought was a very realistic dog statue outside a café. It was a real dog. I startled it, screamed, spilled my coffee on myself, and the dog judged me. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 451

Was it worth it?

By Anonymous - 08/01/2026 22:00

Today, I was supposed to have my last interview for my dream job at a tech firm in Dubai. Instead, I spent my last few days in Dubai in hospital and now I am back in Denmark, on heavy antibiotics and painkillers, and two weeks sick leave away from a job I hate already. Then there's also a huge hospital bill to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 80

Paperwork and bureaucracy

By Anonymous - 04/02/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I went to court because I got a traffic ticket for running a red light. While I was in court, I found out it was actually for a car I had sold years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 132

Stick to sidewalks

By Anonymous - 24/06/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after my car got stolen and flipped on its roof three months ago, making it an insurance write-off, and getting a new car a week ago, a drunk driver crashed into my parked car, writing it off. In both instances the drivers were thankfully OK, it's just my insurance premiums skyrocketing, no biggie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 77

RIP

By Tracy - 11/01/2026 09:00

Today, I told someone “You too” when they'd said “Sorry for your loss” after I'd mentioned that I recently lost my dog to cancer. I realized what I'd said immediately and tried to fix it by talking more, which somehow made it worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 152

By jazzybell - 21/11/2011 00:29 - United States

Today, I found out that a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will erase the paint right off your wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 272

You deserved it 6 740

Waxing lyrical

By Anonymous - 09/02/2023 04:00

Today, at a party, I tried to play it cool by pretending to know all the lyrics to a song, but ended up singing the wrong words and embarrassing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 1 064

Love you!

By bad son - 13/01/2026 22:00

Today, I texted my mom, “Love you!” and immediately followed it with, “Oops wrong chat” except it wasn't the wrong chat. She replied, “???” and now she thinks I only say I love her by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 411

Are you sure?

By Anonymous - 13/02/2023 00:00 - Australia - Clayfield

Today, it's been a few weeks since I last played Skyrim and I had done a lot when I last played it, but when I logged in again, nothing was saved. I definitely saved but yeah no, so 2-3 hours of play is GONE. And I have very bad memory, so I have no clue what I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 793

Rare moment of humanity

By Clerk - 15/01/2026 15:00

Today, a guy at work yelled at me for being incompetent when he got frustrated because I couldn't immediately solve his problem. After we got it worked out, he apologized for overreacting and said I didn't deserve his reaction. I'm so accustomed to being treated like dirt that I started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 88

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The Top

Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 123

You deserved it 2 409

Today, to anyone else who thinks court can be weird, I say this: I just had to testify in court about my penis because it was relevant to the case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 89

Today, my boyfriend and I were at a park, alone, late at night. Things were getting kind of heavy and he started undressing me, when we heard a loud "Hey!" and a flashlight coming through the bushes. My boyfriend then decided to ditch me, while still holding my shirt and bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 554

You deserved it 9 915

Today, I went to dinner with friends for my birthday. During the whole thing they insisted that we get whatever we wanted and celebrate, but when the check came, they all looked at me expectantly. I just bought my friends $150 of food for my birthday present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 747

You deserved it 4 753

Today, while reading some chemistry notes, I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say, "Ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 824

You deserved it 84 716

Today, my husband's cousin told me it's a tradition that I should have sex with the eldest male cousin (him) as a rite of passage, and I probably don't know this being of foreign origin. I emigrated here and met my husband when we were 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 845

You deserved it 281