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Making plans for Nigel

By Anonymous - 28/03/2026 22:00

Today, my best friend, who is dying of cancer, named her younger brother as next of kin for her kids. He's like 19 and knows nothing about taking care of kids. I keep begging and pleading with her that I can take the kids, and that my wife and I are capable, but she says no. Only family can have her kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 206

Lower your expectations

By Aghha - 17/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my Hinge date threw a fit because I refused to put out after he took me to an expensive restaurant. I told him, “If you spent over $200 with the expectation of pussy, you should have hired a prostitute instead.” He replied, “If all you wanted was to eat food and not fuck, you should have DoorDashed instead.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 259

Special day

By LockedOut - 28/04/2026 12:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my husband and I sent our kids out with family and had the house to ourselves after ages. We had awesome sex. I wanted to cuddle while he wanted to take me out to a restaurant to enjoy our day. We argued, he won, and while we left our home arguing, we locked ourselves outside. The locksmith was costly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 202

Can't get enough of 'em

By Anonymous - 10/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I ordered groceries online for pickup. Got home, unpacked everything, and only then noticed I had somehow ordered 12 cucumbers instead of 2. The receipt just said, “Quantity: 12” like that was a normal life choice. I'm gonna be having cucumbers with every meal for at least a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 309

Can't cope

By Anonymous - 18/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, all of my friends and family have ostracized me, and no one is willing to talk to me about anything, because I gave my baby up for adoption after my husband died. Nobody understands that I'm not cut out to be a single mom. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 271

Pub quiz blues

By Anne - 19/05/2026 20:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, during a trivia night, I got overly confident after answering three questions correctly in a row. The final question asked for the capital of Australia, and I loudly whispered “Sydney” to my entire team like I was saving us. We lost by one point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 397

Hydrate

By Hannah - 21/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, after hard manual labor in the hot sun, I am extremely sore even at rest and my pee is the color of Coca Cola. I told my dad this and he told me to “buck the fuck up” and do more manual labor tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 144

Here comes the bride…

By Anonymous - 05/06/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I realized that I may have made a mistake in getting married, because he kept telling people to "Stop fucking crying, it's not a funeral." FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 120

It's a sign

By Anonymous - 08/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, after weeks of psyching myself up, I finally asked my crush to go out for coffee. She smiled and said yes. Feeling on top of the world, I turned to leave, walked straight into an opening glass door, and gave myself a nosebleed before the date had even happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 107

You're ruining everything

By Anonymous - 24/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I hate what my beloved Renaissance Faires have become. Hardly anyone dresses in period-accurate garb anymore. Everything is all dumb mushrooms, slutty “fairies”, and pirates. None of which existed in the time period we’re supposed to be in. Nothing authentic at all! FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 256

NEXT!

By M - 29/08/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I realized that, after waiting until I was 29 to be in a serious relationship, I got with a guy that turned out to be exactly like my abusive piece of shit father. Why? Why God? FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 179

Advice wanted in the comments

By Why Did I choose to live? - 03/09/2026 12:00 - Germany

Today, my husband claimed that his brother is a changed man and that I'm the bitch for not forgetting. Said brother tortured me mentally and forced me into depression to the point of suicide multiple times. It took me four years to breathe normally after he moved out. Why am I married still? AITA? FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 97

Welcome back!

By SWCC - 19/09/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I came home to be greeted by my mother-in-law by cussing me out for missing out on events and milestones in both my wife and two year-old daughter's life. She would never listen to "lame reasons", despite the fact that I just came back from a 13 month deployment. So, being a soldier makes me a bad father? FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 122

Confusing

By here's a giant baby - 05/10/2025 03:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 593

Hair today, gone tomorrow

By JB. - 25/10/2025 12:00

Today, I've come to the realization that the only people to call me handsome are women above the age of 55, gay men, or women trying to get money from me and failing. I don't even get a compliment on a haircut after not cutting it for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 130

Please be happy

By Anonymous - 10/12/2025 15:00

Today, I went all out for my husband on our anniversary. I planned meals, took him to a stage show, and got him a bottle of cologne he loves. He was moody, distant, and at one point crying. Why? He found out his ex-wife is getting married today and he couldn’t stop thinking about her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 87

Kick off

By Anonymous - 09/01/2026 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having spontaneous sex on the sofa when he suddenly pulled out and sat back down, boner waving like a flagpole, because half time was over on the football and he hadn’t thought the sex would take so long. Let's see if he ever gets sex again, tosser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 138

You have been chosen

By Anonymous - 13/01/2026 09:00

Today, I think I was just nominated as a crazy old cat lady. I was sitting in my garden when a stray methodically came back and forth, leaving her three kittens in one of my flowerbeds two feet from me, and now she hasn’t been back all day. I guess I own cats now. Three of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 79

Peace offering

By Anonymous - 15/01/2026 03:00

Today, after a silly argument, I decided to walk up on my boyfriend naked, but instead of a cute reaction video, I got a video of him yelling at me to grow up, get my ass dressed, and to stop trying to manipulate him while he’s angry at me. The argument was over the Lego we’re building together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 587

Get me a banana or something

By Organic food plz - 21/02/2026 12:00

Today, we're visiting my wife's extended family. They're nice people but they eat like crap; I haven't had a single fresh vegetable or fruit in days, and everything they cook is overcooked and smothered in cheap sauce or "seasonings." My stomach is about to go on strike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 90

Oh nooooo!

By Grow up - 13/03/2026 00:00

Today, my husband has been sulking because he got the urge to play Runescape and discovered that his old account was hacked and he lost all his fake money and items. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 354

Uncle Fester

By Anonymous - 16/03/2026 15:00

Today, my asshole uncle stole the painkillers I was prescribed after my surgery. To top it all off, the pharmacy called CPS on my mom when she attempted to replace them because they thought she was lying, so they're going to be investigating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 63

Time for an intervention

By Sad mija - 18/03/2026 09:00

Today, my dad wrecked yet another car by driving drunk. He's now in jail and has a broken arm. I've begged my family to help him get sober, but they just say, "Stop your americanized bullshit, he's fine, this is how we do in the old country." I'm scared he's gonna get someone killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 55

Not very romantic

By whyyyyy - 10/04/2026 20:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, my husband read my texts and discovered that I get a laugh out of making him beg for sex. He handed me a printout of the texts and coldly said, "Either we're going down the list of everything you've said no to, or I find a side piece. Make a choice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 991

Nature is healing

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my son fishing and we did quite well, catching enough for several nights worth of meals. Then, as we were packing up, the dumbass tipped the whole lot back into the sea because he somehow thought the freaking ocean was subject to catch and release. Four hours wasted FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 337

Who even are you?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend didn't have a son that died in a car accident. He's never even had any kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 65

Pleased to meet you

By Anonymous - 19/05/2026 22:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, it's been 3 days since I matched with someone online and have been crafting witty, charming messages. We finally agreed to meet, and the second I walked into the café, I realized he was the bartender who'd already seen me cry there after a breakup six months earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 197

Think globally

By Bloody tears - 27/05/2026 00:00 - Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Today, my husband got so worked up in an argument that his blood pressure spiked and he burst a vein in his eyeball. He was arguing with a guy on the internet, trying to convince him that Donald Trump is evil. We're not even American. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 188

LonelyFans

By whyyy - 01/06/2026 09:00 - Netherlands

Today, it's been two years since I dropped out of college to do OnlyFans and get rich. I've made less than a thousand on OnlyFans and have to support myself with two jobs, and no man will have me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 783

Can't win

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my supervisor told me off for doing something. When I reminded her that she told me to do it, she yelled at me for correcting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 705

You deserved it 218

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The Top

Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 66

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 166

You deserved it 4 765

Random

Today, I had to explain to my Pokemon-obsessed 6-year-old cousin that Albinos are not "Shiny People". FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 723

You deserved it 553

Today, my car was broken into, on the same night I stayed up late researching how to install my new car alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 126

You deserved it 3 438

Today, I realized the only reason I watched the SuperBowl is because Justin Bieber tweeted about it. I don't even like football. I had no idea what was going on the whole game. All I knew was who I was cheering for, because Justin Bieber tweeted who he was cheering for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 315

You deserved it 86 703

Today, I learned not to get a job as an elephant keeper at the zoo when the water at home is out for a week for renovations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 433

You deserved it 192

Today, according to my tax bill, I’ve been employed by a company I interviewed for over a year ago. They apparently hired me but forgot to tell me, then they also forgot to fire me for not turning up, so I’m somehow their unpaid employee and yet owe taxes for wages I’ve never been paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 108

Today, after having pulled like three all-nighters and studying hardcore for months, when it came down to it, I couldn't solve even one question. I almost broke down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 111