The Top

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Bite the bullet

By Anonymous - 05/01/2026 00:00

Today, I got terminated. I don’t know how to tell my family that I no longer have a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 75

One hand clapping

By Anonymous - 06/01/2026 20:00

Today, I woke up earlier than most days, I spooned my wife, gently massaging her back and letting her feel I was ready for play. She finally woke up, got dressed, and didn’t give a damn. I had to work it out myself once again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 293

Tense

By Juan - 08/01/2026 15:00

Today, my wife decided to quit nicotine. I came home to find my Xbox, Playstation, Switch, and PC burning in our fire pit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 54

Can't be arsed

By Anonymous - 21/01/2026 00:00

Today, my dad used to be suspicious of boys like all dads are, but just now he kicked me, actually kicked me up the ass, to get me out of the house for a date. His parting words were, "You’re 32 years-old and still living with me. Marry him, marry anybody, please, before I’m dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 550

Risky business

By Anonymous - 22/01/2026 20:00

Today, I snapped a tendon in my knee during cowgirl position. My boyfriend was “so close to finishing” that he asked if he could just slip it back inside for a few seconds while we waited for the ambulance, “since you’re already lying down, Babe.” If I could stand, I’d have hit him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 90

Picky eater

By Chez - 04/02/2026 03:00

Today, my wife doesn't like to cook. She doesn't like when I cook, because I enjoy cooking and she says I'm "making her feel guilty." She also doesn't want to order take out, as it's "a foolish waste of money." The fuck are we supposed to eat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 86

Power trip

By Anonymous - 20/02/2026 03:00

Today, my boss shouted and screamed at me for my fuck ups that have humiliated the company and cost thousands to put right. It was only when he paused that I was able to tell him he had the wrong guy, he wanted my coworker down the hall. I’ve been here for four years and he still doesn’t know my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 60

Liar liar

By Anonymous - 27/02/2026 09:00

Today, I got reprimanded at work for calling off when I wasn’t sick. Apparently someone at the store saw me making online videos. What a great day to try starting my influencer brand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 1 082

Surely there's a conversation to be had

By Anonymous - 29/03/2026 15:00

Today, I asked my wife for a divorce because her kids hate my son and are horrible to him because they don't like that he has a dad and they don't. She's my soulmate and the love of my life, but I can't do this to him anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 91

Baby daddy drama

By please love me - 03/04/2026 22:00

Today, I was on a first date with a really nice guy and, of course, when there was an awkward silence, I started talking and realized too late that I was running through my usual complaints about my worthless baby daddies. He asked how many and I said three, and he left without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 1 099

I should stop talking

By Anonymous - 14/04/2026 22:00 - United States - Austin

Today, while working retail, I spent 10 minutes helping a customer pick out the perfect outfit. At checkout, trying to be friendly, I said, “This will look great on you, it’s very forgiving.” He paused then said, “Forgiving of what?” I had no recovery. Just silence, a receipt, and a mortifying interaction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 586

Go trend elsewhere

By Anonymous - 23/04/2026 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried a trend I saw where you’re supposed to hug your sibling to see what they do. I didn’t film it, I was just genuinely curious. He flinched and hit me in the face with a book. One of my fillings fell out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 138

Fraudology

By Anonymous - 11/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Center Line

Today, even though I know better than to trust doctor Google on any kind of diagnosis, and with my chiropractor and doctor being completely clueless as to what my constant pain in my right buttock was, I found piriformus syndrome. A condition that perfectly mimics sciatica nerve pain. How did my chiropractor miss this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 128

Dreams

By Anonymous - 14/05/2026 19:00 - United States - Boise

Today, I woke up from a dream where I was talking with my Pa, who raised me, about my life. He and I drank coffee and talked and he told me everything will be OK. I will never talk with him again; he passed almost 59 years ago and I never got to say goodbye or tell him how much I loved him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 75

Extra NSFW

By WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK - 30/05/2026 21:00 - United States - New York

Today, my girlfriend told me how she got the scars on her legs. I'd assumed they were self-harm scars. Nope, apparently getting sliced up turns her on, and if I want a good sex life, I'd better get used to cutting her thighs with a razor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 99

How could you?

By Anonymous - 07/06/2026 06:00 - United States

Today, my wife called me at work, screaming in rage that she hated me, that I was a useless lump, that she wishes we'd never met. Did I have an affair or burn the house down? Nope. I set up the kids' backpacks for school today and forgot a library book that was due today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 87

Self-confidence boost

By Uri - 12/06/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 160

Reverse Uno card

By Anonymous - 12/07/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I made a small mistake, I admit, but my boss screamed at me that I’m completely useless and that if my uncle weren’t senior manager he’d fire me. I think he’s mistaken me for someone else, since I don’t have any uncles, but if I tell him that now, I actually believe he will fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 83

Suspicious minds

By Summer - 14/07/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I came back home from an errand and found my ex in bed, embracing my 20 year-old daughter. They said that nothing has been going on. Glad he's an ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 94

How can I make everything about me?

By Anonymous - 16/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our pregnancy announcement was ruined by my dad who thought it would be funny to grab my boyfriend while yelling, "You got my daughter pregnant, boy! I’m going to kill you!" It wasn’t funny, there was just an awkward silence, and now this precious moment is something I’d rather forget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 188

Not even once

By Anonymous - 23/07/2025 08:00 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, I got addicted to online slots, racked up nearly €30,000 in debt, and completely ruined my financial future. It’s been almost a year since I stopped gambling, but the shame and the debt are still crushing me. I’m trying to get back on my feet and even created a fundraiser just to breathe a bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 619

The world is a scary place, best be prepared

By Anonymous - 13/08/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I have spent the last two hours at work looking for the gas pump model of a different gas station than the one I usually go to, only because I don’t want to be embarrassed if I don't know how to use it. All thanks to my crippling anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 215

Naira bucks

By Anonymous - 01/09/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I confidently walked into a meeting thinking I looked sharp in my new shirt. Halfway through, someone pointed out that the tag was still hanging out the back, flapping like a flag. It wasn’t even a size tag, it literally said "₦5,500" in bold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 323

Lone wolf

By the loneliest number - 14/10/2025 20:00

Today, it’s almost my birthday. Instead of the big fun celebration I’d hoped to have, I’ve cut ties with most of my deeply toxic friend group. I think being alone is better than being surrounded by fake friends and real enemies, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 93

Bad friend

By Anonymous - 31/10/2025 15:00

Today, my friend threw a milkshake at a guy spinning a sign on the side of the road. The guy stormed over and dragged my friend out the car window. When I jumped out to help, I'd forgotten to put my car in park, and it rolled across the street and hit a ditch. Then the sign spinner kicked both our asses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1 076

Holiday season

By Anonymous - 25/11/2025 09:00

Today, I’m a recovering alcoholic. With the upcoming holiday, I have two choices; I can go over my family’s house who are all heavy drinkers and hope I don’t relapse, or I can stay home by myself and hope the crushing loneliness doesn’t drive me back to the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 91

Music sounds better with you

By Miranda - 06/12/2025 00:00

Today, my crush shared his listening age on Spotify Wrapped, as well as his top artists. We happen to have the same listening age and top artists. Yet he rejected me as a girlfriend because I’m “not his type.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 505

Tough time for the edgelords

By Confused - 29/12/2025 00:00

Today, I have a dilemma. I was really upset when Charlie Kirk was shot, and yelled at people who made fun of his death. However, I find the Kirkification memes edgy and funny, but I can't take part because I would be called out for being a hypocrite or worse. I don't want to get kirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 768

Plenty of fish (or not)

By Lonely - 05/01/2026 03:00

Today, I have been single for four years. During this time, I have hit it off with a dozen women. Ten of them turned out to be very religious or in cults, which is a deal breaker to me. Of the remaining two, one became a dear friend before blocking me when she met her now boyfriend, and the last one is asexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 152

Show yourself!

By Coneer - 19/01/2026 09:00

Today, I told an employee to turn her camera on during a meeting when she worked remote. Since she refused to turn it on, I questioned the veracity of whether she was actually working at home, so I threatened to take disciplinary action. She responded by filing a complaint to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 585

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend of 5 years gave me the "I'm not in love with you anymore" speech. I saw it coming, so I'd planned to play it cool by saying, "If you're sure it's something we can't fix, I'd rather not talk about it". After a while, I realised I was just sitting there like a child, fidgeting and shaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 867

You deserved it 2 150

Today, I had a text message when I woke up. I was excited as I usually don't get texts from people. Turns out it was from T-Mobile. They text me more than actual people do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 889

You deserved it 5 142

Today, I aced my solo during my band concert. My parents were asleep the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 866

You deserved it 4 449

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 219

You deserved it 43 841

Today, I was mugged on my way to the bus stop. With no money or mobile, I started to panic about the exam I had, and ran the 3.5 miles to get to there. When I staggered up to the building only 20 minutes after the exam started, the university staff wouldn't let me sit it as I couldn't prove my identity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 987

You deserved it 3 014

Today, the guy I've been flirting with for a week, and would be meeting in two days, sent me a message that he wouldn't be able to text me this evening because he'll be on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 284