The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month

The top of the year

Blasphemy

By Anonymous - 21/09/2025 12:00

Today, while reorganising my very extensive book collection, I found my 16th century Bible had about 15 pages glued together with what I suspect is 30 year-old raspberry jam. My son might be 36 years-old now but he’s going to get it when I see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 365

What is going on here?

By Emily - 06/01/2025 15:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I went to my BFF's 16th birthday party. As I arrived, a VERY cute (and familiar looking) boy said to me, "You look hot! Wanna kiss?" I've made out at parties before so I agreed. As we did, I recognized my pal as a slightly butch, if pretty, GIRL I know. Worst part - her kisses are better than my boyfriend's. Am I gay now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 774

Just not with me

By NotMeFML - 07/05/2025 14:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I found out that the girl I went on a date with, and refused to sleep with me because she, “doesn’t have sex on the first date” had no qualms about sleeping with my buddy on his first date with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 328

Routine

By RIP - 24/06/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, two years after marrying my fun, adventurous fiancée, she's turned into a whiny, nagging bore. Date nights are now "eat leftovers and watch reality TV nights" and sex is once a month, with her asking, "Are you about to finish? Are you almost done?" the whole way through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 160

Wankers!

By Whoops - 28/06/2025 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I visited a friend at work with a couple of other friends. We like to play pranks, so we went to his register and started loudly discussing our masturbation habits as a joke. Some bitch complained, and his boss fired him and kicked us all out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 1 173

Get the hell out of there

By Anonymous - 16/10/2025 12:00

Today, I realized that if I run out of cigarettes my husband wants nothing to do with me, and when he hits me during a mental breakdown it's all my fault cause I had it coming. He's 40 and acts like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 141

She works hard for the money…

By Anonymous - 20/02/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, a guy asked me out. I accepted and gave him my rates for a night, as well as my cash apps. He immediately freaked out and said, “I meant on a date, you fucking weirdo.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 813

Nightmare

By Anonymous - 01/03/2025 15:00 - Germany

Today, I have the perfect life. The best husband, two well behaved kids, a well paying job, and a happy home. But I just pick random fights with my husband, instigating him into shouting for no reason. I guess I want problems to be happy. My whole soul wants peace, except my stupid brain and hormones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 812

Still on the hook

By Just too submissive - 24/06/2025 22:00 - Netherlands

Today, my ex said he was coming by to get some of his stuff, and that if I wanted to talk, I should be on my knees in my best lingerie. I was furious and wrote a text telling him how awful and misogynistic he was… then deleted it, put on my best lingerie, and am now waiting by the door on my knees for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 1 053

Sitcom moment

By Stupid husband - 20/08/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I told my husband I was making a points system for him to earn sex by doing chores and favors. He said, "Okay, I'll make one for dates. Every time you go five days without whining or nagging me, you get a date." I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 850

Basic private equity tactic

By Left out - 26/08/2025 03:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, the guy I picked on in high school got his revenge. He bought out my dad's car shop above market value and then closed it. My dad doesn't care, he gets to retire early, while I get to watch something I'd hoped to inherit get torn down and sold off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 1 013

Anti-stink measures

By Sardine man - 12/04/2025 21:00 - United States - New York

Today, my coworkers surprised me with a bunch of gift cards to Panera, Chick-fil-A, Chipotle, and other nearby fast food places, as well as an "Easy Work Lunches" cookbook. When I reacted with shock, they said, "We're all so sick of you eating cans of sardines in the break room everyday. Please eat anything else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 757

Coulrophobia

By Anonymous - 02/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after I recently took our kids to a fair and they both turned out to be scared of clowns, and because the fair was my idea, my wife has told me there will be no sex at all until the kids stop having clown-themed nightmares every night. Two weeks so far and god only knows how long still to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 112

Unilateral

By puppyless82 - 02/11/2025 12:00

Today, my husband re-homed the puppy I got because he chewed his sandals. I spent $5000 on the puppy, including microchipping, certifications, etc. He told me, “That’ll teach you to stop spending our money on dumb shit.” Oh, and I have to get him new sandals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 499

Is it so that strange?

By Anonymous - 09/01/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom - Garstang

Today, I realised something awful. I'm in two wonderful loving ethical non-monogamous relationships and I can and do occasionally enjoy a one-nighter or more outside of these. It hit me - I miss cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 1 025

Don't hate the player…

By Bugggo - 19/03/2025 10:00 - United States

Today, my girl bestie, who I secretly have a crush on, sent me a screenshot of my girlfriend tagging me on a Facebook post, saying, “So when were you planning on telling me you have a girlfriend?” I fucking told my girlfriend not to tag me on shit in social media but she did it anyway. Now my bestie won’t talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 1 602

Amityville

By bumpinthenight - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Today, I was painting my new house when my neighbor introduced himself. Mid-conversation, he said, "The lady who lived here was nice, but just couldn't get over her husband hanging himself in the garage. Or her son shooting himself in the basement." I'll never sleep again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 419

You deserved it 439

A freak out for all to bee

By death to bees - 13/04/2025 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, a bee buzzed towards me, so I screamed and started frantically flailing and thrashing my arms, praying it wouldn't sting me. I threw my full cup of hot coffee in the face of the man next to me, and launched my laptop out of its bag and onto the pavement, where it broke in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 854

No uncertain terms

By Andreww - 30/03/2025 06:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I got broken up with yet again by my on-and-off ex-girlfriend. I had ended things with an amazing girl I was seeing just to go back to my ex. She'd made it clear that if things went wrong with my ex, I wasn't allowed to pursue her again. I tried to hit her up again anyway, but she told me to “take a short walk off a pier.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 1 475

Unfortunate boner

By Man - 02/07/2025 06:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I was at a party, and a cute girl in a skirt sat on my lap. We were flirting and I unfortunately got hard. She then stood up and yelled, "Are you getting hard? EW!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 146

Fartmageddon

By dusty bean - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 991

You deserved it 690

USA! USA! USA!

By Not like that - 19/06/2025 21:00 - United States - New York

Today, I called the cops on the house next to me, since they constantly make tons of noise and throw trash in my yard. Turns out they're all undocumented migrants, and now three families with little kids are getting deported. I feel like scum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 317

Surveillance state

By Anonymous - 18/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I was watching our home security cameras from work when I saw my husband get home and grab a beer. I activated the camera microphone and told him to put it back and fold the laundry. He flipped off the camera, chugged the beer, and started jacking off on the living room sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 1 081

Dethroned short King

By Anonymous - 25/10/2025 00:00

Today, I was on a first date. I asked her what she brought to the table since I’m a pretty well established guy. A voice in the booth behind me yelled out, “How bout a booster seat, Smurf!” Everyone laughed so hard I got up and left. I’m 5ft3 and bitches always make it about my height. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 939

Thanks, that helps…

By Anonymous - 16/03/2025 06:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I worked up the courage to tell my supervisor that it makes me feel uncomfortable when my coworker teases me by saying a special needs client is in love with me at the residential facility I work at. Her response was, “Well, he is obsessed with you. He writes your name down hundreds of times and watches you out his window." FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 99

Cart Narcs

By xXglycerinXx - 18/04/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, my mom yelled at me for trying to return a shopping cart to the cart corral. She then forced me to leave it in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 72

Spice it up

By Jan - 13/10/2025 20:00

Today, my husband came home, threw me over his shoulder, and carried me to the bedroom. Furious, I shrieked to be put down and demanded an explanation. He said, "I thought you wanted us to be more spontaneous…" Apparently, that means he should treat me like a sex toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 739

Nice try, buster

By Anonymous - 27/11/2025 22:00

Today, my four year-old wants to throw out all his toys and get new ones for Christmas. His reasoning is that if he throws them away, there will be space for all new toys. He doesn't understand sustainability or environment. He's been explaining this calmly over and over again for two hours now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 350

Praise

By Jesusman - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, as I helped my boss set up catering at our café, she was stressing about having enough time for everything when the DJ chimed in with, "Why don't you ask him to help?" It got awkwardly quiet as they looked at me and he realized I was a girl. Then he tried saying, "By him, I mean Jesus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 143

You deserved it 363

Joy to the world

By Anonymous - 26/12/2024 15:00 - Germany

Today, for Christmas, I got the 3-month anniversary of a constant cold and cough, my period, plus the diagnosis that I have been secretly left-handed for 40 years, and need to switch sides now if I want to unfuck my physical and mental health. What I still don't have are decent boots - I've been hunting them for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 157

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I worked up the courage to confess my feelings to this girl I'm crazy about. I even wrote and recorded a song for her. Instead of listening to it, she gave it to her ex-boyfriend, who responded to my heartfelt words by headbutting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 054

You deserved it 7 707

Today, I sent in a fake story to a website that supports a yearly festival in my small town, thinking it would boost their spirits. It was how my boyfriend proposed to me at last year's festival. Now the local news station wants to do a story about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 852

You deserved it 81 144

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I looked sad. I told him that I found out a co-worker died over the weekend and I failed my final exam. He then informed me that my toilet was clogged again, that he had a lot of work to do, and left. I have to find a plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 618

You deserved it 3 126

Today, as I started my car, I heard the most horrific sounds coming from the engine. When I lifted the hood I realized I'd found my son's cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 582

You deserved it 4 592

Today, my wife gave me the green light to have sex with other women. She beat the cancer, but sex for her is now painful and she wasn't really interested in sex the last 10 years anyway. So why does my life suck? Because I don't want sex with anyone else. Now she's mad at me for making her feel guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 117

You deserved it 226

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. All of the sudden, he whispered in my ear, "Do you want to hear a Minecraft joke?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 860

You deserved it 345