The Top

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Help yourself!

By called the cops - 23/09/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, my now ex was angrily moving out of our place. She slammed the door so hard behind her it bounced back wide open instead of latching. I don’t live in the best of neighborhoods. Since I was out of town, all I could do was watch helplessly on the Ring camera as my place was emptied out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 165

Don't print this FML

By NeverCheckOnFamily - 04/06/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, I checked on an uncle following his surgery. I got a two-hour monologue of how the internet doesn't really save paper, because he has to print the bills and receipts, plus pay for ink and staples, and that utility companies are really just shifting costs to the consumer by going "paperless". FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 178

Horrific misdirection

By Anonymous - 15/03/2025 20:00 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, my brother sent me a dick pic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 125

Caught!

By Anonymous - 13/04/2021 02:00

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me, thanks to a friend's TikTok account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 85

How does technology work?

By lukey101 - 27/06/2022 16:00 - Australia - Wahroonga

Today, my mum refused to send me a picture she took on her iPhone until it synced up to her iPad, because she claimed it will then appear larger. When I tried to explain the image will be the same regardless, she angrily accused me of not having any trust in her. I still haven’t seen the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 101

There there

By Anonymous - 03/10/2023 06:00 - United States - Greenville

Today, after I dated a girl for 4 years and she'd left me for another man, she came back about a week later bawling on my bathroom floor. I comforted and held her, thinking she may have realized she'd made a mistake, only for her to say how much she loved him the whole time. I hate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 388

Aced it

By Kanata - 31/08/2019 02:05

Today, my phone cut out during a call for a job interview. I tried calling them back, but there was no answer. Later, I got an email from the interviewer, saying I was no longer being considered for the position due to my being "rude and unprofessional." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 907

You deserved it 171

Stinky

By cranky, smelly, musty, moody - 14/10/2023 00:02

Today, I’ve finished all my cancer treatments but my body is putting me through the wringer again. I got my first period after not having one for nearly a year, and with it has come all sorts of hormonal issues including cramping, mood swings, hot flashes, and heinous BO! It’s worse than puberty! FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 99

Scarred for life

By Guess who's back - 10/07/2022 02:00 - Australia - Homebush

Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 1 925

Blood is thicker…

By Anonymous - 01/05/2021 13:57

Today, it's been a dozen years since I had sex, as my husband is mentally dealing with molestation as a kid by his uncle. Meanwhile, his mother is on vacation with the molester. Yes, she knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 717

You deserved it 124

Right place, wrong time

By tiptoppc - 12/07/2022 16:00

Today, I drove across three states, starting out at 4:30am, to do on-site tech work. Once I arrived, I was informed that work was scheduled tomorrow, not today, which wasn't my fault, they messed up. I lost a whole day and gas costs. I don’t get paid for this unless I do the work. I’m stuck in South Dakota. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 115

Baby Got Back

By BigBack - 14/04/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I came home early from work because I wasn’t feeling well. I overheard a phone conversation that my husband was having in the living room. “Yeah dude, I ain’t attracted to that bitch no more, she got a big back now, but she pays the bills and I got a roof over me, so it’s good, you feel me?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 114

Poor good girl

By mary07 - 15/07/2022 14:00

Today, I woke up, got out of bed, but I didn’t notice the dog right next to my bed and accidentally kicked her. All the treats, apologies, and attempted pets in the world won’t help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 221

Forever alone

By Anonymous - 05/05/2021 17:01

Today, I found myself being jealous of the relationship between Ethan Klein and Trisha Paytas on Frenemies. I need a life. I need real friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 624

Customers…

By Giselle - 14/05/2021 14:01

Today, two girls walked into the clothing store I work in. One of them pulled a shirt from the bottom of a huge stack, knocking it down. One of them asks, "Aren’t your gonna put the stack back together?" The other says, "No, that bitch gets paid to clean that shit up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 109

Close call

By Anonymous - 09/11/2023 06:00 - Canada

Today, I went on a relaxing nature hike to de-stress. I got lost for hours, encountered a bear, and had to play dead, only for the bear to steal my sandwich then sit there for hours before finally leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 181

Vengeance is mine

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 22:00

Today, my stepson told his class that I beat his mommy. I did beat his mommy… in Pokémon. He left that detail out, and now his entire school is treating me like a monster. My wife thinks it's hilarious, and says it's her revenge for me winning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 656

You deserved it 109

Mind of my own

By Bahi - 25/07/2022 10:00

Today, despite the fact that I'm 20 years-old, my parents never allow me to go out and have fun with my friends, under the pretext that I'm a girl. I'm stuck at house all year long, I only go out to the college they forced me to study at, and they decide everything about me. I’m tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 264

Is that even legal?

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 00:00

Today, I went to the cafeteria at work like I usually do, but couldn't find anything I liked. Turns out there's a new policy in place: the cafeteria is now serving only vegan foodstuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 142

You wanker!

By Anonymous - 06/10/2019 22:00

Today, my brother arrived at the cabin we’re staying at on a trip. He insisted he got the bed I chose. My father responded, "You wouldn’t want the bed if you knew what he did in it last night." I laughed until I realized there's a mirror where he could've easily seen "what I did last night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 2 144

Everybody does

By Bill - 31/05/2021 05:59 - Canada - Qu?bec

Today, I’ve been unemployed for 5 months. My last job was for government in Canada and I was harassed by management, and deemed a threat to the building. Why? Someone complained I cough. I’ve been coughing for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 115

Clean your room

By Anonymous - 02/06/2021 11:01

Today, I've pretty much given up hope that she’ll ever learn to tidy up after herself. I just wish I could dock her allowance every time she makes me clean up her mess. Why can’t I? Because I’m not actually her mother. In fact, she’s mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 139

Thanks wasn't given

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 18:00

Today, my boyfriend is pissed at me for giving everyone food poisoning right before the holiday and ruining the weekend. He’s the one that forced and berated me into using the nasty expired ingredients in his mom’s kitchen, even though I knew better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 194

Predator meets prey

By RIP - 10/06/2025 00:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I found a mouse in my kitchen. Wanting to go about it the humane way, I captured the little guy and released it outside. I then watched as a stray cat in my yard noticed and brutally murdered it. No good deed… FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 333

Bird song

By Anonymous - 23/10/2019 20:00

Today, I figured I've been watching too many horror films, due to my parrot mimicking a women's blood-curdling screams that he heard in a movie. How do I know? He decided to reproduce the screams at 3 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 590

You deserved it 459

Nightmare

By yeah - 25/10/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. In Walmart. Over the loudspeaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 954

You deserved it 202

Blackout

By DeePDowneR99 - 20/08/2022 10:00

Today, my dad took away my TV, books, and even my posters off the walls. Apparently he got a call from my headmistress, and I "should know what I did to deserve this." The thing is, I don't, I truly have no idea what I could have done to be punished like this, but I'm too scared to ask him to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 174

You, your sex is on fire

By Anonymous - 26/08/2022 18:00

Today, I mixed drunkenness with sensual oils, a lot of whiskey, a massage, and scented candles, which resulted in accidentally setting my husband's back hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 1 191

Manly man

By Anonymous - 17/06/2025 20:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I realized that I don't use my brand new $200 electric razor enough to justify the cost. It works perfectly fine, I just only use it once every two weeks instead of every day like everyone else does, all because my facial hair doesn't grow thick enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 287

Losing my mind

By rawr - 30/10/2019 18:00

Today, I managed to lose a 3XL fleece jacket in my house, which had my wallet and car keys in it. I had the pleasure of explaining this to my boss when I had to call in, after everyone I called did not respond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 431

You deserved it 364

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The Top

Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 228

You deserved it 5 657

Today, I lost control of my vehicle while driving. The car went off the road, rolled over, and ended up being totaled. The policeman asked me if I was alright and I said I was. He seemed relieved at my answer. Then he handed me a $300 ticket for failing to maintain my lane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 388

You deserved it 6 032

Today, I learned the reason they say don't keep your phone in high humidity places. I left my phone on the counter when I went to take a shower. It now won't turn on due to water damage and the warranty doesn't cover it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 237

You deserved it 36 244

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 485

You deserved it 8 882

Today, I went to a going away party for a coworker. I had brought weed for the party and at one point a guy asked me if I have a Grindr. I replied, "No, I don't use those dating apps. I do have a Fetlife but that's it, if you want it." He apparently meant a weed grinder. Most awkward 3 hours ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 1 322

Today I found out my ex-girlfriend from college, who had to leave because her visa expired after we dated for a year and a half, actually came back to the States two years later to get her PHD and didn't tell me. We had parted on good terms and were good friends to each other. I've given up on dating altogether. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 179