Miscellaneous: Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female...

By spaghett - 29/08/2016 20:32 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 151

You deserved it 1 811

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Baywatch

By Anonymous - 02/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 344

You deserved it 488

By Higgs - 02/06/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 126

You deserved it 6 199

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 685

You deserved it 12 507

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 434

You deserved it 7 721

By klutz - 10/08/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 851

You deserved it 56 824

By "mbrider" - 12/08/2017 16:00

Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 878

You deserved it 268

Sick moves, bro

By Fish - 19/03/2009 15:47 - United Arab Emirates

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 299

You deserved it 55 362

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 935

You deserved it 44 852

By loser. - 20/03/2010 06:23 - Canada

Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 604

You deserved it 5 496

By wrongman - 14/02/2018 19:00

Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 607

You deserved it 7 694

joco4 27

Tuesday 30 August 2016 10:26

How would you not know that you lost your bathing suit?

Sir_Cow 17

Tuesday 30 August 2016 10:19

I hope you have a shower and not a grower.

Comments

Catdragon 40

Tuesday 30 August 2016 10:17

Well you don't hide things at least.

Sir_Cow 17

Tuesday 30 August 2016 10:19

I hope you have a shower and not a grower.

Steephx0 23

Tuesday 30 August 2016 10:52

"I was in the pool! I WAS IN THE POOL!"

Lizzy500 16

Tuesday 30 August 2016 14:12

"It shrinks?" "Like a frightened turtle" "I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."

joco4 27

Tuesday 30 August 2016 10:26

How would you not know that you lost your bathing suit?

DravensTheName 16

Tuesday 30 August 2016 14:49

Plot twist : he knows his bathing suit was off but just wanted to show the lifeguard what he's packing.

WardenWolf 26

Wednesday 31 August 2016 23:54

It can happen if you do a dive straight in. If it's not tight enough, it can strip it right off of you and the shock of the cold (if you're jumping in for the first time that day) can be distracting enough to not notice it.

ruudseriesx 25

Tuesday 30 August 2016 10:27

Pretend to drown and when she starts doing CPR, kiss her.

Rabite 28

Tuesday 30 August 2016 12:57

As a lifeguard myself: Don't.

Joshawott 21

Tuesday 30 August 2016 13:12

Sounds like you may have had some traumatic experiences #11...some that may have led you to say an expletive about your day? If only there was a site where you could share them... :P