Miscellaneous: Parting shit

Parting shit

By smellymcgee - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Farmington

Today, I came home to the vilest stench I've ever smelled. I had to open a floor vent and scoop up the turd that was inside. Funnily enough, today was the day my scumbag roommate moved out, but I'm sure he had absolutely nothing to do with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 912

You deserved it 863

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Same thing different taste

Roommate from hell

By Anonymous - 13/10/2020 10:57 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, after I had the place to myself for a while and it was easy to clean, my roommate returned and I woke up to trash piling up, dishes everywhere, and luggage full of sweaty laundry. Oh, and it smells like poo again, because he doesn't regularly shower. I want to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 156

Spooky season has begun

By Anonymous - 04/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 614

You deserved it 156

By raesos91 - 18/09/2012 11:56 - United States - Houston

Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 822

You deserved it 2 827

By peteswentzbass - 26/01/2013 17:18 - Netherlands - Nuenen

Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 017

You deserved it 3 406

By Thanks Fred - 18/05/2019 00:05

Today, I discovered why there was such a horrible stench in my bedroom. My cat had a secret stash of shit under my dresser. Along with the carcass of a rat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 845

You deserved it 302

Curious...

By 16Charlie5 - 19/05/2018 15:00

Today, I woke to the smell of poop in my apartment. I went to investigate and found out a cat had pooped in my living room. I don’t have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 707

You deserved it 277

By John - 13/01/2011 21:12 - United States

Today, I cleaned my entire apartment hoping to find the source of the terrible odor I've been smelling for the past week. It's me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 124

You deserved it 39 754

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 00:06 - Canada - Newmarket

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 693

You deserved it 2 201

Stinky neighborhood

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 22:01

Today, I came home to a terrible smell in the apartment. Three hours, and a scoured kitchen later, I took the trash out. The smell was not my apartment, but from just across the alley; a neighbor had moved and emptied their fridge. Six more days of sunned milk until pickup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 61

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 11:33 - Germany

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 979

You deserved it 2 362

fhksuaifk 16

Sunday 26 June 2016 7:04

If he left a new address leave it on his step + a gift of your own

crudeandrudeguy 29

Sunday 26 June 2016 7:21

Although horrible at least you found it right away. You could be playing find that smell for the next month

Comments

smokeduck115 23

Sunday 26 June 2016 6:56

at least he left a present

Haggis300 25

Sunday 26 June 2016 7:15

At least he left**

cheyluvsturtles 30

Sunday 26 June 2016 8:35

would you want shit for a present? really.that is disgusting. and something an animal would do.

xDrakeNinja 12

Sunday 26 June 2016 16:57

*facepalm*

peckerbeak22 14

Monday 27 June 2016 3:58

I did NOT mean to upvote this

IrishJohn 3

Sunday 26 June 2016 6:58

Leave it on his doorstep

WCARlover 34

Sunday 26 June 2016 6:58

I have to wonder what went down to cause someone to leave like that. I wish to know the backstory

19foxy81 8

Sunday 26 June 2016 6:59

What a dick

fhksuaifk 16

Sunday 26 June 2016 7:04

If he left a new address leave it on his step + a gift of your own

Madrias 36

Sunday 26 June 2016 13:04

Leaving the shit-bag a shit bag. Not the worst plan I've heard.

Diarrhea_Volcano 29

Monday 27 June 2016 4:39

I believe that sending human waste through the mail is illegal.

SpyroMello 29

Monday 27 June 2016 4:50

#27 They're suggesting leaving it on the doorstep not mailing it to them.

crudeandrudeguy 29

Sunday 26 June 2016 7:21

Although horrible at least you found it right away. You could be playing find that smell for the next month

SixthSinEnvy 39

Sunday 26 June 2016 7:51

I hate that game.

tiptoppc 19

Wednesday 20 March 2024 14:31

I did that when a raccoon decided to crawl under my porch and die. Like pork rinds gone bad…

fmltilltomorrow 12

Sunday 26 June 2016 7:28

That's a nice parting gift he left!

IDontKnowWhoIAm04 24

Sunday 26 June 2016 8:26

I believe the correct statement was, It's a nice gift, that he left.* Oh, the gift WASN'T him leaving? My mistake ;)

Dilexar 26

Sunday 26 June 2016 7:44

Find his new address, put the turd in a paper bag, set it on fire and leave it on his doorstep.

AlexOrban 17

Sunday 26 June 2016 7:49

I guess you could say that it was a shitty situation ;) (hope the smell goes away)

Rozay333 36

Sunday 26 June 2016 7:51

Idk why people enjoy playing pranks with their own shit like wtf is wrong with you?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 260

You deserved it 14 933

Today, I discovered my boyfriend's spider-infested shed where I refused to set foot, where he is constantly fixing the mower, bikes, or his car, is actually just a sound recording of power tools he plays so I won’t go down and disturb him. He has a TV, an Xbox, and a fridge in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 546

The Top

Today, I realized I've been saying "Excuse me" to automatic sliding doors for the past week. They haven't responded yet, but I'll keep you posted on their social skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 160

Today, I told my boyfriend we should avoid the local walking trail after I got followed by a homeless man. He assured me we’d be fine and the guy wouldn’t approach me as long as I had a man with me. Wrong. We both got beat up and robbed by said homeless man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 189

You deserved it 348

Today, my boyfriend took our dog to the vet because he heard him whining in pain this morning. It was actually me singing in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 266

Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 386

You deserved it 4 382

Today, after finding out that I'd slept with our married neighbor, I found out my husband had slept with him too as revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 953

Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 278

You deserved it 10 162