Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as a part of my job, I took a couple around to look at houses that are on sale. After driving them around and looking at tons of houses, the wife said, "Okay. I think we have enough decorating ideas." FML
Today, while at dinner with my wife, she asked me what was on my mind as I stared blankly at the window. "Nothing" was interpreted as, "We are boring, and can't stand each other." FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house watching a home makeover show with her and her mom. The show's host had a giant portrait of himself on his wall and then I said, "I hate it when people do that, it's so stupid." Her mom stared at me and pointed to the portrait of my girlfriend on the wall. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML
Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML
Today, my wife said I shouldn't wash or iron the clothes, or do the dusting and vacuuming, because, I "don't do it correctly." Also my wife: "You don't do anything to help around here." FML
Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML
Today, my husband was working from home, so I asked him to clean the living room and basement. He started yelling about how he needs to focus and that I can't be "constantly distracting him." Sorry for expecting you to care for the space you live in, dick. FML
Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML
Today, my wife decided to paint our dreary blue living room all white to brighten the place up. It does look brighter, I just don’t know why she used brilliant white gloss. The walls are shiny as fuck and reflect the light in your eyes everywhere you sit. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Maybe he just looked at you like that because he couldn't grasp the concept of what you were saying. Like he was confused and what you said made no sense.
titandesu 14
smooth
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (92)
larrena2377 26
Hopefully he was just kidding!
Wakachulak 22
Am I the only one who thinks the husband took this as a personal insult? Like the OP was talking about HIM?
Ashamed_Sister 60
No, you’re not the only one. I expected OP to tell her husband something like “Now it’s time to divorce”. Maybe he was angry because he expected the same.
HKCgrimmjow 15
I think he was staring at her as in "you aren't useful or beautiful so get out" kinda thing, isn't that what this FML is about?
Wakachulak 22
That may or may not be how OP perceived it, and it may or may not be a correct perception.
Pauline96_fml 20
#1 maybe he took it as a threat to his belongings
airhead2015 18
I feel like he had not of a "You've gotta be kidding me" expression. Not trying to be bashing on women, but I know a lot of women remodel the house and frequently buy new things for the house (like my mom and my 2 aunts, houses are always remodeling), but I could be wrong, OP is OP, not my mom/aunts.
DedicatedNova 13
Well you better do something. Don't want him to throw you out like an old toilet.
caohm 18
Hmmm I've never actually seen anyone throw out their own toilet. it's sounds difficult and may take a lot of time and money like a divor oh I see!!
thestrangedude 10
He's a man which means either A) he's taking the piss B) he wasn't listening to you
zxglle6382 10
I'm pretty sure since he was looking OP in the eyes he wasn't taking a piss (unless he just enjoys taking pisses on floors), and I don't see how having a husband who doesn't listen to you would be much comfort.
rosha267 21
I think taking the piss is slang for messing around
thestrangedude 10
Yep taking the piss means insulting or having a joke not literally urinating. Must be a British thing
threer 30
Wow, that wasn't the least bit sexist.
MichelleRuzicka 15
Though that is true for objects, it shouldn't apply to you. Hopefully he doesn't actually view you as such!
hockeygoalie13 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well then it's a good thing your husband is not an interior designer because it seems like he's bad at recognizing what is beautiful.
titandesu 14
smooth
no_playa_hater 14
I gave you about 15 upvotes, because each time I pressed the "downvote"-button, it decided to give you +1 instead of -1.
Lemou_fml 25
or maybe, JUST MAYBE, it should be common sense. Who the **** buys something for your home that aren't usefull or beautiful?
UnidentifiedFun 37
Wow, what an ass - time for a talk
silvercamaro 22
There's always one.
sierraaaa 15
Why did this get thumbed down so much?
Selvyys 4
I agree with having a talk. It's possible he didn't understand what it meant but I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that he is an ass.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Maybe he just looked at you like that because he couldn't grasp the concept of what you were saying. Like he was confused and what you said made no sense.
LifeAlertTwerk 14
I'll side with #8. As a guy, it went over my head and I had to read it again to fully get it.
Spyderbane 10
14, I agree. I see it as he thought that was a stupid rule as no one buys something because they think it is ugly or useless.
crimsin_ 21
He was so distracted by how beautiful you are he just couldn't focus :3
cryssycakesx3 23
if she worded just like that I bet he was confused
alice90_fml 1
Keith stone smooth
DavidKnows 11
More likely he thought you were talking about HIM!
TheDrifter 24
Or that she was planning on throwing out large quantities of his favorite possessions.
WCARlover 35
It's sad to me that there are so many married people that do things like this. Makes me fear getting married just in case I start to feel that same way...or my husband starts feeling that way D:
zandalee 20
That's why you marry your best friend. 25 years of marriage and he's still the shining beautiful sun that I orbit...
I_cant_think 10
HE'S SO FAT THAT HE CAUSES YOU TO ORBIT HIM?!?!? That would be fun during sexy times.
titandesu 14
maybe he was worried you'd throw him out