Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML
Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were, "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML
Today, a girl in my class introduced herself to me for the fourth time this semester. Am I really that invisible? FML
Today, I started a new school, after moving from England to New York. People only talked to me just to hear my accent. FML
Today, a colleague found out that I struggled with anorexia when young. After ranting about how it's a silly 'Women's disease', he renamed me 'Miss Piggy' and made oinking noises every time I ate something. FML
Today, a man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML
Today, our school started an anti-bullying policy, and we watched a video about bullying. After the video, I told a teacher about a bullying case going on that I know about. His response? "Tell someone who cares!" as he walked away, chuckling. FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the crack in the door. I quickly looked away, but about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
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Top comments
emirie 21
That's the type of friend I'd want.
DocBastard 40
The weird kids always grow up to be CEOs or chairmen. Or axe murderers.
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Comments (91)
emirie 21
That's the type of friend I'd want.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
He was probably just joking around. Most people who spend their time alone develop a different sense of humor..and on top of that he could have been showing you his weird side to see if you'd stay around for his other side..like kind of putting a hard shell on from people hurting him. All in all, I wouldn't take it literally op, look into it deeper.
TyT63 12
I'm sort of a loner at my school and I put up barriers and hardly ever let people in but I wouldn't tell someone I ate my friends
queerdragon 20
I know a lot of the "weird" kids at my old high school were likely to tell weird jokes or seem off-putting because people would pretend to be nice then mock them.
KushCrushin89 10
That's what you get for talking to the weird kids. Just leave them alone.
NessaMae 19
My best friend and I are best friends because she couldn't draw a duck one day and even though she was shy and weird she came up to me and said, "Uh..can you draw me a duck?" I drew her the duck and and we've been best friends since then. That was 3 years ago.
Dswank620 18
I'm from Ohio too, maybe we can all be friends! Ya know cuz I usually prefer to drink my friends
Caitie_kid 8
24, it's never a bad thing to try to be nice and friendly towards someone, even if they are content being the weird kid.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
thats a cute story 58. I hope u both are friends forever.
slayertack 19
58 That was the most touching story I've ever read. :')
RoboCunnilingus 23
I've eaten my best friend, and she and I have been friends for years now.
starile 20
#1, same here! I'd LOVE to get involved with someone whose friends are all cookies! :D
NessaMae 19
Oh, and I'm also from Ohio. :3
CtrlAltDef3at 4
55, the wierd kids are ussually really worth talking to. Most of my.friends right now were ones I didn't really know when I first met them. It ended up they were pretty cool. As people say "you shouldn't judge a book by its.cover"
Meettitan 14
Am I the only one who sees this kid talking to his food everyday because he has no friends, and then going through a "Wilson!!" moment from Cast Away after he eats his lunch?
incoherentrmblr 22
#78: Drink your friends...what?
amisenho 11
#27: As one of the weird kids in school, I agree wholeheartedly.
DocBastard 40
The weird kids always grow up to be CEOs or chairmen. Or axe murderers.
Ziggy122 15
The weird kid from my school joined the military. Made sense, since he seemed to have a fascination with bombs and other weaponry...
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
Never make fun of the weird people..they'll come back and cut your leg off and watch you slowly bleed out.
eddeeezzyy 19
16 - you sure it wasn't like the Taliban or something?
jasmine2301 25
#28, you sound like you know what you're taking about...
kaitlynjane 28
Like Johnny, the homicidal maniac :D I think he only used an axe once, though..
robotiick7 23
35- you forget that we have eod troops
peacejunior 12
A good reason to befriend them. And keep them full.
SkyDog 9
#28 Reminds me of Dane Cooks scetch of the Creepy Guy at Work.
negb 30
CEOs and chairmen because they've eaten everybody above their old position! The weird kid from my school works at Walmart :/
AurumPotestasEst 16
There's a difference?!
CobraLazerFace 21
Or Doctors?
cmayer 20
Years of making this mistake have not been able to keep me from being nice to the weird kid bc I feel bad that everyone else is mean to them. Got stalked once. The point is, it could be worse.
hghrider123456 9
I bet his only friends are girls.........
anitriarose 5
61- are you 9 years old? because only 9 year olds would think it's lame to hang out with a girl if you're a guy.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
84..no he was referring to how loners get mostly girls attention because girls are more sympathetic than guys.
starile 20
#84 and #88 Christ, I certainly hope I'm not the only one that caught #61's obvious sexual innuendo. Otherwise I AM inclined to believe you're all 9 years old. #61, at least this creepy old man appreciates your jokes!
anitriarose 5
OH GOD, I JUST REALIZED THE JOKE. fail = me
NoMore_CoolNames 14
He sounds pretty awesome to me.
Caitie_kid 8
Me too. I would have asked him how they tasted.
Dawnstempest 17
@ 63 Like chicken... I'd imagine.
Nyx_fml 23
I have eaten many deliciously friendly chickens. I might be running out of friends too.
nightbirdblue 27
I've ate the lettuce that was talking to me once. Luckily, it seemed to be one of those friends that you actually hate. It tasted pretty good and was quite satisfying.
shy_and_bubbly 6
nothing sounds more like a cool person then "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." ;)
LiterOfCola 16
What a poor quality comment.
queerdragon 20
I think you mean, "I have tons of female friends because I eat them out." That would make someone popular.
Ch_rae5 19
I agree with #24 that was a very tastless comment....it didnt even make sense..
Aczidraindrop420 7
Don't invite that guy over for dinner!!
Sal_G_63 5
Unless you're really depraved, of course. I'm sure he won't mind eating another friend.
Metal_Avenger 9
Well maybe thats why he is the weird kid
GRgoldfish 19
... that's a really creepy thing to say.
misspulkadot24 17
Not really, I find that sentence in my daily vocabulary. My friends are finger lickin' good. Seriously. The finger is a delicacy.
johobus28 26
That's . . . Sorta the point . . .
amaindayyy46 20
If he's lying then he's funny and you should be friends with him. If he was being serious, please don't get involved with a cannibal. I think we both know how that would end.